The Very Atmosphere
by stumbledlove
Summary: Bella lives a rather predictable life as a grad student in a southern college town. Well, until Alice brings Bella a suprise--her jazz-band-fronting-med-student brother Edward. Deep reflections and crazy lovin' ensue.
1. Chapter 1

Originally I thought to myself: This is kind of a non-conventional way to write Eddie and Bells. But, you know what? After reading all of the amazing stories on the site—that put these characters in every place and time we could imagine—it feels not so much so. There's a lot of me in this story; I wanted to write these characters as very REAL people-- a little messed up like we all are, but ultimately sweet and loving and passionate like Stephanie Meyer so beautifully intended. I'll be interested to hear what you think.

A few notes:

I hope this excites you lemon-lovers: I wrote a huge chunk of this chapter while looping Kings of Leon's "Sex on Fire" on repeat. Now, now, no one's sex is all on fire in this chapter. But that should give you an idea of where I'm headed. If you've never heard the song, stop reading this and go find that first. A little extra incentive: I read somewhere that Rob Pattinzzzzzzon loves the song too. But I won't let him just all have it and such; that song's been my inspiration for quite awhile.

Stephanie Meyer created the lovely characters from the Twilight Saga. I use their names and situations here, but I do not own one single piece of the sexy little things. I do, however, own my writing and any situations NOT relating to the Twilight plots.

Nothing ever works out quite the way you planned, does it?

The alarm on my cell phone went off right beside my head for what I think was the fifteenth time that morning. Why had I ever thought that setting the snooze timer at one minute intervals was a good idea? My body has never been able to wake up in one minute. Sometimes it takes thirty. Sometimes its noon and I still haven't woken to the world just yet.

Which is probably why being a perpetual student was a good thing for me. And one of the ONLY reasons I could think of lately that made it a good thing.

I hit "dismiss" on the damn thing one last time, rolling over to huff and puff into my smushed pillow. I was hard on pillows...maybe all the tensions in my body made me press more deeply into them in the night. At least it made them soft, though, soft and worn in. I briefly considered that Jasper might want to murder me and my phone and my pillow one room over. Our walls were not well insulated at all; an architectural misfortune that we'd discovered soon after moving into this house. I spent many an evening earplugged to the not-so-subtle noises produced by Jasper and his spunky little girlfriend Alice. But I could never be angry. It wasn't their fault that the plaster was so thin. And as much as I'd TRIED to dislike Alice in the beginning, mostly because I'd harbored some strange possessive feelings for Jasper that I once even mistook for love I think, I just couldn't. Yes, she was loud and spoke her mind and had more energy in the span of five minutes than I did all day. But she was also thoughtful, and a great guest chef in our kitchen, and smart and practical as hell.

I managed to swing myself into an upright position, surveying my fresh from bed look in the mirror that hung above my dresser.

Ugh. My hair was a absolute bird's nest, yesterday's curls now a mess sticking in all different directions. I rubbed my eyes and resigned to the morning light coming in through the windows. I needed coffee. Lots and lots and lots of strong coffee.

When Jasper and I moved into our little bungalow, I quickly claimed the bedroom nearest the kitchen, often regretting its distance from our one tiny bathroom but always thankful for how close it put me to the coffee pot in the morning. Jasper didn't even drink coffee; he managed to make it from the sleeping stage to dressed and awake and ready in ten minutes flat most mornings. Men seemed to be better at that in general.

"Morning, sunshine."

I growled as I stepped gingerly into the kitchen and heard my roommate's chipper greeting.

"Shut it. I'm not awake yet." I scrunched my eyes at him and shuffled towards the coffee. Nothing better than the sound and smell of fresh brewing.

"Bella, how in the world could that alarm NOT wake you up properly? It could wake twenty people up." Jasper smiled at me, teasing. He was too good natured. Sometimes that could be annoying. But mostly it was why we had become such close friends so quickly last year. Jasper had an uncanny ability to calm anyone down, and particularly me. He didn't take anything seriously.

And it would have been so easy for someone as good-looking and smart as he was to be the opposite kind of person.

I glanced over as he placed a baking sheet of biscuits into the oven. He was such an elegant person, even in his movements. He wasn't buff or even that tall. But he had a manly elegance about him, all sinewy and lean. His skin was luminescent almost, perfectly matched with the honey color of his hair, which he kept a little on the long side.

"Earth to Bella Swan." His hands were in front of my face, fingers snapping.

"Geez." I smiled, shaking my head to attention. "How long do you have to co-habitate with me before you realize I'm not a real person in the morning?" I reached for a mug from the top shelf of our cupboard and asked him to pass me the cream from the fridge. I had a very ritualistic coffee-assemblage exercise. He also knew to pass me the sugar and a teaspoon before I even had a chance to ask.

"Thanks, dearie." I laughed and leaned against the counter once my coffee was just so, savoring the first sip. That was always the best one.

"Agenda for today?" He took the spot next to me, crossing his arms, eying his biscuits through the over door.

"Usual. Everything or nothing, depending on my level of motivation." I took another long sip and then looked sideways at him. "I wish sometimes I could go back and re-do the stage you're in. Learn to be more disciplined while I still had the chance."

"Hell, I'd trade places with you, darlin'. The grass is always greener." He always smiled a little crookedly. And that southern drawl...well, it made anything sound soothing. Jasper was from a small almost-not-a-town near Greenville, South Carolina. He'd done his undergraduate work at USC, and then it wasn't a long haul at all for him down here to Georgia. Just a couple of hours away from his family—the Hales, who were old southern money in the most stereotypical ways possible. They had it all. A huge house with porches that stretched on for days. Rocking chairs and mint juleps and sweet tea and decadent balls...I had never thought any of that was real until I moved down to the South. And Jasper's family cemented the image in my head. Of course Jasper's disposition proved that any imagery of an Old South was just that—old. He was well aware of where he came from but also equally aware of how, with each successive generation, the prestige associated with what his family's money had once meant was dissipating. And rightly so.

I'd moved here from a sluggish little town in Washington state called Forks. It's one of the wettest places in the continental U.S., buried under a constant cloud cover and a chilly drizzle. It's beautiful, don't get me wrong—soft and fragrant and lush. I miss it most days. But there were parts of the southern climate I had definitely become spoiled by. The heat, first and foremost. I'd spent my childhood in Phoenix with my mom before moving to Forks to live with my dad in high school. I'd gone to college at Washington State. So, sufficed to say, it was nice to be in the sunshine again.

Jasper and I were both PhD students in the English Department at the University of Georgia, here in Athens. I came in two years ahead of him—which basically means that, since coursework is over, I spend my days trying to convince myself that I can write a little thing called a dissertation. It's weird. Just a couple of years earlier I considered myself young. Full of life and eager to learn. And now, at 25, everything seemed so sluggish. Some days I worried that I'd taken the wrong path. Jasper exuded passion for his work still.

"Well, you are so welcome to write a chapter for me." I smiled and made a face. "You just let me know."

"Bullshit." He threw me a crazy look as he searched for oven mits. "Bella, you're the best writer I know. If you'd just get back into the right state of mind, you'd blow everyone and everything out of the water. You have a way with words that we're all jealous of."

Whatever. Maybe he was right. I was a good writer, I knew that. But I didn't think I was an intellectual. Jasper totally was. Theory sprouted from him like water from a pail.

"Just serve the best writer you know breakfast, and we'll call it even for now," I winked and left the kitchen, headed to grab the newspaper from the porch before coming back to enjoy some of his world (well...okay house) famous biscuits.

"You got it sweet cakes."

An hour later, I was fed, showered, and clothed. My days had started to look very, very similar. Mornings were slightly promising work-wise, as the day stretched ahead of me. I typically headed to a coffee shop with my laptop, which is where I was headed this particular morning. I applied a quick coat of lip gloss before I packed my bag, waved goodbye to a at-his-desk-working-with-discipline-Jasper, and began the day.

Athens is perhaps the best place in the world for someone like me to blend in or, on bad days when I need to, even go unnoticed. It's a college town, so there's this weird perpetual balance in the population between overly eager, overly sexed, designer-denim wearing undergrads (most of them the sons and daughters of Atlanta's suburban elite) and academics—professors and grad students, all a little older, a little less shiny, a little more cultured. My mom and I always joke that I moved to the wrong place to find a man. With sexy, perfectly sculpted, impossibly perky nineteen-year-old girls at every corner, even the older grim dudes want them. They're intellectuals until it's time to hit the bar after 10pm. That leaves the non-undergraduate female population in the "sore loser" category most of the time. My mom, Renee, is biased, of course, but she claims that I have a skewed vision of myself because of where I live. She claims that if I were anywhere else in the world (well, and sprouted more much-needed self-confidence), I would be fighting princes and thieves alike off with a stick.

I'm in tune with myself enough to know that I'm pleasant enough looking. Long brown hair, thick, in waves, that people have always seemed envious of. But an average everything else—brown eyes, nothing spectacular there, slim build, average-at-best breasts...you name it, I had the average version of it. Maybe if I managed to have better style...lord knows Alice had tried lately to get me into some sexier stuff. But most days jeans and flip-flops and a soft cotton shirt offered the most comfort.

I just never have too many people to impress. Sure, I'd gone a little wild when I first moved here. I'd bar-hopped with the best of them, trying to make friends. I'd dated a couple of losers for very short periods of time. But then there was Mike. He was in my department, a couple of years ahead of me, ten years older than me. Charming and brilliant and going a little bald, he wore chinos with Ralph Lauren dress shirts everyday and took me to lunch at the swankiest little places in Athens and Atlanta. I was in love. Or, at least, at the time I thought I was. We were just a fit of passion, and we didn't disentangle ourselves from each other soon enough—too fearful, or too stubborn maybe, to realize that we had fizzled into nothing.

Looking back, it was easy for me to realize now that he was extremely full of himself, high on himself, and I had fallen under his spell just as he had probably imagined that I would.

I guess you could argue that Athens was also the best place to be single, though. Easy to hide in the crowd, easy to pass your mid-twenties off as a time for school, and fuck-ups, and sleeping in. But there was something else on the other side of it, and I was becoming increasingly ready to get there. Something that was more than what my parents had found—more than a simple life of get up, go to work, make dinner. Some of that was nice. I wanted some of that. But I also crazed some excitement, some big change. I had a lot of work to get done first, though. Or I'd have spent the last three years in absolute vain. Right?

I found myself ambling down Broad Street like so many mid-mornings. Downtown kept quiet until lunchtime. Most of the businesses—little jewelry shops, a nature store, clothing boutiques that catered to the sorority population—didn't open until 11. And the lunch crowed wouldn't hit for about another hour. This was morning Athens—just those of us seeking a cup of coffee and a place to plug in our laptops.

There had been a lot of rain this April. Plenty of gloomy days. But today, I could feel summer and early May peeking through, hot and muggy; the sun was tentative but making a comeback. And pretty soon we'd have 90-degree weather every day.

"Bella!"

I turned around, jumping a little and knocking my bag against my hip.

Alice.

I saw her little shape running toward me from across the street where Broad Street met the entrance to Old Campus. She always managed to make dodging traffic look graceful.

Alice Cullen was 22, perky, stylish, but in every other way the complete antithesis of most of the undergraduate females running around this town. She was a senior and took school really seriously, as well as her part-time job teaching children's dance classes at the local Y. She was a business major and wanted to own a boutique someday. Or a bakery. She was always changing her mind. She was from seemingly endless old southern money like Jasper, but also like Jasper she never mentioned anything about it, really didn't ever seem to think of it. Her clothes fetish was really the only red flag. Well, and her car.

Today she looked flushed and happy, but a little tired. She wore a knit black dress that hugged her tiny curves perfectly. She barely rose above five feet tall, making even me look like a giant next to her when she wore flat shoes. Jasper was head over heels in love with this little pixie, and honestly, most days I could easily see why.

"Bella! I missed you this morning! I had to leave early for a meeting. What are you up to?" She fell in line beside me. I smiled and waved my hand around my head.

"The usual. Cozy nook for writing is in my immediate future. Where are you headed?" We ambled along as Alice tried to catch her breath.

"I'm headed back to my car. I'm driving to the airport to get my brother. I'm so freakin' excited," she clasped her hands together as she spoke. "Oh, Bella, you guys are going to love him."

Oh yes. The brother. Alice had been talking about this visit for months. Her apparently slightly-brooding older brother, currently halfway through medical school at UCLA. Somehow he also found the time to head up a jazz band. Overachieve much? I would never dream of putting a damper on Alice's excitement, but I just couldn't imagine that this honey-dripped brother would find much to amuse himself in Athens. He'd obviously made a bee-line for the West Coast to get OUT of the languid South.

"Alice, I feel awful. Tell me his name again. You know I don't remember those types of things. Grad school took away my short-term memory," I laughed and looked at her expectantly.

"Edward. I called him Eddie when we were little, but he hates that now of course." She scrunched her nose in a funny little smirk. "Oooh, he used to terrorize me when we were kids. He deserves so much payback he never got. I'm still working on it. It's hard to get him. He's too smart."

I laughed and bit my lip, chewing on it lightly. Edward Cullen. Stately name for a stately asshole? Hard to believe that Alice could be related to an ass, though.

"Well, bring him over tonight. I could cook." Cooking was really one of my only true solaces. I showed a good deal of love and friendship through food and drink these days.

"Well, you don't have to, but that would be lovely. I know Edward will be so thrilled to meet you. I've told him a lot about you. And Jasper of course." She looked like she was going to burst, with pride, excitement, about a million different emotions.

"Alice, really, though. What could you have possibly told him? There's nothing to tell." I laughed, a little crisply, and stopped in front of Walker's—a little coffee shop by day, bar by night that had great outdoor seating in the back. I needed to get to work. Particularly if my afternoon and evening were going to be consumed by meal-making and brother-meeting.

"Your work of course. He's really into Thoreau. You'll be amazed. He might be in medical school, but he knows a little bit about fucking everything," she paused a blew a strand of hair from her face. When I met Alice, she had a little cropped pixie cut. But she'd grown her raven hair out a little recently; it fell across her eyes in thick strands. "I've spent half my life trying to live up to the standards he's set. I used to think I must have been the one adopted. Seriously."

Edward was adopted? I hadn't known that. I was curious at that information, but I kept my mouth shut. Better not to pry.

"Now you've got me nervous." I bit my lip. "Our little group isn't exactly a bastion of hard-core intellectualism. We're pseudo if anything."

"Whatever." She touched my arm and smiled once more. "I'll call Jasper later and confirm a time. I have to get on the road. Don't go to too much trouble with food. He's a healthy eater...I mean....he'll eat anything, and lots of it." Maybe he was fat? A chub. Maybe that was the one downfall of this apparently perfect human being. Hmmph. Probably not.

She disappeared as quickly as she had appeared. Alice hardly ever really stopped moving. I sighed and laughed at her retreating figure, turning to the door. I needed a latte. And maybe a blueberry muffin to get me going. My mind was rapidly distracting itself with the menu for the evening. Indian? A Thai curry? Maybe something simple and hearty like pasta?

Henry David Thoreau was at once both the great American dreamer as well as (and this is quoting Ralph Waldo Emerson, who gave Thoreau's eulogy in 1862) nothing more than "the captain of a huckleberry party."

I grapple with this paradox everyday when I write about Thoreau. He's around every corner of the nineteenth century mind. He is there passing along the Charles River in 1849, disgusted by the roar of the Lowell mills and, thus, the first brazen manifestations of how quickly and impersonally industrial capitalism was marking the American landscape. He took us to Walden, and created our questions of wildness and rugged individualism, but there he was never, ever truly alone. And there he was an abolitionist, defending John Brown and damning the Fugitive Slave Act, on the razor-sharp cusp of a bloody war for freedom that he would not live to see the end of.

Historians and writers and journalists return to him, over and over, because his sometimes rambling but oft heartaching prose serves up the most important (and most baffling) questions of our country's very tender post-partum era. Empire building, individualism, industrial revolution, mass communication and the growth pains of culture, imperialism and an ever-moving, ever-fleeting frontier. He wasn't alone at Walden; he was of the world as well as outside of it.

Did Thoreau lack ambition? Maybe. He was a writer, and writers tend to amble. I mean, look at me. But how do we measure someone like him? In huckleberries? In money? In Emerson's pained eulogy?

Hell if I can really figure any of it out.

These are thoughts in my head as I run. Just for half an hour around our little neighborhood. Some days I listen to Van Morrison and space out. Some days I think about all of this shit.

Had I become the captain of a huckleberry party? My little life on Hill Street. My beautiful if predictable friendship with Jasper. My pained attempts at fitting in with academics who had their noses half in the air and their hands in the organic cookie jar.

I tripped a little as I walked inside. Only Bella Swan can trip ON herself, with nothing in her path.

I collapsed on the couch in our living room, reaching with an ache in my arm to untie my tennis shoes. Jasper heard me and joined me, a little smirk on his face.

"Oh, you are really going to love this."

"What?" I must have sounded exasperated. People like me weren't meant to be runners. I could barely regain my breath. I flung myself dramatically over our throw pillows and sighed. "Lord, just tell me, please."

He came to sit on the armchair across from me, poised on the edge.

Eyes sparkling. Smirk. This was definitely a smirk.

"Guess who has a grand design to set you up with a future doctor?"

I knew it. Holy fuck.

"Jazz...you know. I knew it. I did. The way she was talking about him today." I buried my face in a pillow and growled. He just laughed. He knew me well enough to know that my frustration was at least half put-on. "It's fucking ridiculous. He lives literally all the way across the continent. It's pointless. And besides...it doesn't sound like I could have anything to offer Edward Cullen. His life sounds pretty perfect as it is."

"Are you done with your rant yet?" Jasper folded his arms across his chest and shot me a patient smile.

"I guess." I re-situated myself in a sitting position. This evening was going to be interesting.

"Alright. I agree. It's ridiculous." I shot him a nasty look. "Bella, not about you not being able to offer him anything. Love, you have everything to offer. I agree about the long distance thing. It seems like a moot point. But let's humor Alice. Please? Just be nice."

Of course I would be nice. I'm never not nice. I'm often too nice.

"You got it. Unless she goes overboard. Like trying to dress me."

"Well..." He had a conspiratorial tone. "Alice did SUGGEST that I tell you to wear your baby blue dress. She said the strapless one."

"Jasper. You are so whipped I can't even see straight." I laughed. "I'll wear the damn dress for her, not him." I shot up from the couch and headed the short distance toward the kitchen. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a curry to attend to. I hope the surgeon enjoys toasted cashews and eggplant."

"I like the spunk, Bella." He clapped his hands and stood up to give me a little bow. "By the way, Charlie called on the land line."

Of course. Charlie Swan. He insisted we have a land line. For emergencies. But the only time we EVER used the damn thing was when HE called. And if I ever had an emergency, you'd better believe that I'd dial 911 from the cell phone next to my bed. Why would I traverse into the kitchen to report an intruder? Charlie refused to join the cell phone revolution. But that's one of the things I loved about my small town police chief father; I wouldn't ever want him to change.

"Thanks. I'll call him back from the cell to drive him crazy." I chuckled and threw myself into kitchen prep.

An hour of eggplant-chopping, cashew-toasting, chicken-sauteeing, and curry-assembling later, I happily breathed in the fragrant aroma. I hummed a little to myself as I set the rice in its cooker, deciding to err on the side of caution and make a huge batch. Alice did say that her brother ate a lot of food. I'd bought a cake at the grocery store with that in mind as well—a dark chocolate one, to be precise, all gooey and rich.

There was really nothing I could do at that point except wait. I could probably sneak in a half hour's worth of work...but...screw that.

I set the curry on to simmer and escaped to my bedroom. I set out the dress I'd been ordered to wear, fished out some light brown flats that matched it, and hopped on my bed, dialing Charlie's number in Forks.

Two rings, and there he was.

"Bells, you always call back on that damn cell phone. You're going to get a brain tumor. So are seventy five percent of the people in this country. Holding those things to your head all day."

I laughed into the phone. "Dad, I hear you. You've told me that no fewer than fifty times. We could initiate an official bet if you like. But I don't know if brain tumors are the best things to wage bets on."

"Probably not. But mark my word..."

"How's work, Dad?" I decided to cut his rant off.

"Oh, you know, about the same. The rain's been messier than usual, so there've been a lot of animals running loose from the woods and getting hit on the roads. Not a pretty sight."

"Thanks for the visual. That sucks, though." This is how our conversations typically went. A little Forks talk, a little sarcastic but loving humor. My dad was the sweetest thing. As I aged, I realized more and more what a shame it had been that I'd missed having him around during a huge chunk of my childhood. He was so steady, so practical. He didn't hover, but he cared deeply.

I walked around the room as we spoke, filling him in on some goings on in my department, recipes I'd been trying (I always cooked for him when I lived at home), and our impending visitor for the evening.

I zoned out a little as he talked more about work, some about the goings on at La Push—the Quilete reservation near Forks. Charlie was close friends with one of the elders, Billy Black.

I traced the blinds on my windows idly, tugging at them when I heard a car pull up into our circular driveway.

White BMW. Car doors opening. It was Alice. And the...

Fuck.

Perhaps the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Dramatic much, Bella? I swallowed hard, my dad's droning still playing in my right ear. Bronze hair. He had bronze hair, sticking up and outward in five different directions. Sex hair. I watched his jaw line as he closed his car door and spoke over to Alice. She laughed, and he smiled. Oh the bone structure.

He was tall, but not too tall. Lean but not too muscular. He definitely had the half-grunge, half-prepster look working for him. He wore gray-washed fitted jeans, a little worn looking, and some well-loved black vintage Nikes. And a blue oxford shirt, pressed but with the sleeves rolled up and a couple of buttons undone up top. I chewed on my bottom lip as I watched them. They were obviously finishing up a conversation. Edward held a bottle of red wine in his hands, and he was lazily fidgeting with it as Alice continued to talk.

"Bella?"

Oh, gosh. Charlie.

"Dad, sorry. I...I've got to go. Our dinner guests just arrived." I let out a long breath and heard a light chuckle from the line.

"Alright, Bells. Knock em dead with your culinary skills. I sure miss them around here."

"Dad, don't eat too much chili," I laughed and said goodbye, ending the call with a flick of my finger and resuming my peek-post through the blinds. I was still staring idly, my heart in my throat, when he looked up to my perch. Shit. Edward Cullen had caught me window stalking him. I saw a smile form on his lips. That sent my little weak heart a fluttering, and I snapped the blinds closed. Great way to start off the evening, Bella.

I worked to regain my composure as I hurriedly changed into the dress. Of course now I wished I'd spent more time getting ready. I had no idea I was heading into a evening with some sort of bronze-haired god. I guessed my hair looked okay, but I spent a few precious moments applying a little bit of makeup and lipstick. Just as I finished, I heard the doorbell and the telltale sounds of Jasper headed excitedly to the door.

Fuck. Now that I was nervous, I'd be a clumsy, bumbling wreck.

He's nothing to you, Bella. I pressed my fingers to my temples and gave myself a pep talk. He's just visiting. He's nothing. Have fun and let that be that.

But the sight of his eyes flickering up to mine had done a number.

"Bella Swan, get your little but out here!" Jasper stood in front of my bedroom door.

I heard laughter at his request. Alice's chuckle and....something that sounded like golden clanging bells.

Yes, fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Farm Animals?

My mind grated as I reached for the doorknob. I was REALLY upset with myself for becoming so easily worked up. Less than half an hour ago I hadn't cared a flip about this med student-cum-jazz bander entering our home.

So I just did it. I opened the door in one swift movement, planting a cautious smile on my face. I bumped right into Jasper near the kitchen, who looked at me expectantly and motioned to the archway that led into our living room. There they stood at attention, genetically-gifted smiles and all. Seriously, was there something in the water in South Carolina? Alice and Edward Cullen (Jasper too, come to think about it) could have been walking ads for Colgate Toothpaste, or the Versace ready-to-wear Spring collection, you name it.

Alice moved at attention, pulling Edward's arm as she approached me.

"Bella Swan, my brother Edward. Edward, this is Bella." She looked like she was about to explode. Alice had pinned her hair with two gold clips; she wore a little burnt-orange sundress, and her long gold earrings shook as she nodded. She looked stunning. And the brother, well...he was just standing there glowing with the subtlest of California tans, his green eyes better than anything I'd expected.

"Nice to meet you, Bella." _Golden voice, golden voice._ He extended his hand. _Long, lean fingers....Bella, stop._ "Well, I think we met through the blinds a few minutes ago, huh?" Mortified, I swallowed hard and laughed it off. Maybe he was a jackass after all. Except...hmmm...the comment didn't sound malicious rolling from his tongue; it sounded vaguely playful.

"Yes, yes, nice to meet you. Sorry about that. I heard the car pull up." I accepted his hand, sliding mine into his in a gentle shake. I think my hand burst into flames. _Great, Bells. Advertise your nervous tendencies with blatant shaking._ My fingertips felt some tension from him, felt positively ablaze. I gazed at him for the briefest of seconds, searching for some recognition that he'd felt the fiery needles as well. His green eyes were glinting? But honestly, that could have just been because of our lighting.

When I had the charred remains of my hand back, I smiled and motioned to the nearby couch. "We should sit. Edward, Alice hasn't talked about anything besides you for the past week." He smiled. And my knees buckled a little. I don't think anyone noticed that my walk toward the living room was less a walk and more a languid limp.

"Yep, Edward, you know we're going to have to grill you. See if you live up to these high expectations Alice has set," Jasper chimed in, amused. We all sat in a circle. I took the coward's way out and occupied an armchair, leaving the couch for the three of them.

"Ha, yeah, whatever," Edward placed his hands at his knees and sighed. "I could say the same thing. Well, especially since you're my little sister's beau. I'm going to have make sure you're worthy."

Jasper tensed up a little, but I think he could sense that Edward was joking.

"How's the observing going so far?" Jasper chuckled and then sent a silent teasing challenge over to the Cullen camp.

"Going well." Edward laughed. "Besides, I feel like I already know you anyway....and Bella. Alice talks my ear off every Thursday night. Brother-sister chat time. And you've occupied most of those chats lately." Brother-sister chat nights? Where did these people come from? Even cynical Bella Swan had to admit that that was cute.

I shifted, and I think I saw his eyes focus on me for a few seconds. I looked down at myself, blushing a little for no real reason.

Jasper and Edward slipped into a comfortable conversation about Georgia football and SEC play versus the PAC-10. Alice listened along, eager to see her brother and boyfriend find some common ground. She shot a couple of smiles my way, as if to say: "Told you so." And yes, he was impressive so far. A little forward on the joke-making, but honestly I liked a bit of sarcasm in a person. If I didn't appreciate sarcasm and banter, what the hell was I doing in academia?

I took a few minutes to observe him further, careful not to make it LOOK like that's what I was doing. Edward was an animated person like Alice, but much more toned-down in style. His mannerisms were subtle, his voice soft. He looked healthy and energetic, but he also had thin dark circles under his eyes that gave his overall person kind of a brooding effect. Maybe it was the late nights in med school. Or maybe that was just his coloring.

Knowing that he and Alice weren't biological siblings, I could see the differences in their coloring, could see that although they were both ridiculously beautiful people, they didn't necessarily share any notable features. What was unmistakable, though, was the sophisticated way they held their bodies, so poised. That had to be a Cullen thing. I could just imagine their parents. Just as impeccable, just as poised, and no doubt just as beautiful.

We made it through the first twenty minutes or so without any major snafus. I grabbed my knees constantly, a nervous habit, and didn't say much. Five minutes in I realized I hadn't offered anyone a drink and quickly moved to pour four glasses of wine, but poured them in the kitchen just in case Bella the klutz struck and I needed to perform some clandestine cleaning out of sight of the living room.

Jazz and Edward had not only found common ground—football, camping equipment, Noam Chomsky—but very suddenly seemed to become almost one person, their voices melding into one melodic frenzy. I was a little disappointed, honestly, and felt a bit left out. I could tell Alice felt the same way, except I think I could sense that she was thankful for the problem at hand. I smiled softly at her and nodded toward the kitchen.

"Come help me serve everything up. People are probably hungry."

Edward seemed to pause at my voice, just in the briefest of half-seconds, but then he resumed speaking without so much as a glance.

Alice nodded yes and slipped behind me. Once in the small kitchen, she gripped my hand so hard I had to grimace in pain. Somehow she managed to emit a squeal without making a sound. How is that possible? She looked like a lovely mouse, as she scurried then to the fridge.

"Ow, Alice." I laughed and hissed her way, reaching to stir the curry one final time. "You have a freakin' death grip, my love." She stuck her tongue out at me then and smiled, leaning against the freezer door. Why had she even opened the fridge? Nervous energy. She hadn't taken anything from it.

"Can you believe it? We'll have to pry them apart with a crow bar!" She reached forward to tug at my waist in a frenetic hug, straightening a few wrinkles in my dress as she did so. I playfully swatted her hand, turning to busy myself with serving duties.

"It's great, I know," I spoke as I piled our vintage green serving dishes on the counter, "I think Jasper has officially won over the Cullen brood." I smiled, and Alice was simply glowing at my words. I needed to remain enthusiastic for Alice. And normal. I mean, what was I going to say to her? _I'm sorry, I can't really concentrate on you or Jasper or anything right now except how much I want to jump your brother's bones and make fifty babies with him. _

"Bella, I think Edward thinks you are lovely."

"Alice!" I flushed red and put my finger to my lips in a hushing gesture. "You're ridiculous. We haven't even talked yet. He seems great, and you know I love you and, therefore, anyone related to you, but..."

"Come on, Bella, please." She interrupted me and began her signature pixie pout. Lower lip outstretched. "He seemed mesmerized by you when he saw you from the driveway. I know my brother. He's difficult for others to read, but for me it's so fucking easy. I can read the twitches of his eyelids. And he definitely wants to get to know you."

"Of course, Alice." I sighed, moving the rice from its cooker to a ceramic bowl. "I do too." Boy did I.

"Tonight is going to be fun. We could go out later too...maybe find some dancing..." Of course. Of course Alice had this whole night mapped out in her precious little head already. I sighed and asked her to start assembling the salad.

The boys were engrossed in some babble about politics in Egypt. Where had that come from? And was Edward some kind of genius? Probably. Which would mean he'd want nothing to do with m...

"Bella, I think that's enough rice." I jumped, letting the large spoon fall from my fingers into a clattering on the tile. Sure enough, the bowl was nearly overflowing. I heard Alice laugh.

"Jasper, you scared the shit out of me, geez," I leaned down to grab the spoon and darted back up, not realizing until it was too late that Edward had joined us all in the kitchen as well. And so my eyes got a joy ride up his jeans, took the scenic route by his crotch, and then landed mere inches from his beautiful face. And those eyes.

"I am so sorry..." I bounced back, moving to wash the utensil so I could look busy again. "Has Alice mentioned that I'm a klutz yet? Because I am." I let out a laugh that sounded more like a heavy sigh and watched as Edward plunged his hands into his pockets. Every move he made looked effortless, like a page from a J. Crew catalog in motion.

"No problem. And come to think of it...Alice may have mentioned that you were charming but clumsy." Edward smiled only faintly. His remarks didn't seem to ever match up with his face. Alice was right. Hard to read.

"Bullshit, I never added that part. I just said charming." Alice piped in from behind me, threatening her brother with a tomato slice.

It was that moment that I paused to look at him...that moment when our eyes met for the first REAL time. It must have lasted at least ten seconds, just...just a look. His green eyes were wide, slightly angled so that his features, when you looked really closely, seemed a tiny bit exotic. Like a mystery. He reached up to grab a chunk of his hair and then looked away. Was that his nervous habit? Hair pulling. That explained the sex hair.

We all eventually sat down. I placed the curry dish in the center and then took my seat at our small mahogany table. It always felt so cozy, our little dining nook. Sitting next to Edward now...well, everything just seemed too warm. My whole body felt flushed as I made some small talk about passing the food clockwise.

"So you eat the farm animals you write about?" Edward motioned with his fork to the food before him.

What? I picked up my napkin and and then looked up at him, with what was apparently an amused gaze.

"Excuse me? Farm animals?"

"Alice said you write about farming?" Edward looked so sincere, it almost hurt. I felt some laughter pulling at my own eyes. Alice. She always spoke about things so excitedly that they sometimes came out a bit jumbled.

"Oh." I paused, taking this opportunity to gain some of my composure. I had a little, most of the time. I took a small sip of wine and looked toward an expectant table. Jasper was holding back a laugh. Alice looked a little guilty. "Not exactly, no. I write about literature and farming...ideas about the land, from laborers and planters in the nineteenth century. The conservation ethic, things like that. I do love animals, personally, but I also love eating them. This is organic chicken by the way...free range."

"Hmm." Edward nodded, tossing a bite of chicken into his mouth. Fuller lower lip, thinner upper lip. I watched him chew. "Okay, that makes more sense. I knew you were in the English department with Jasper, but I didn't understand why you'd be writing ecology in the English department."

"Yeah, ha, not quite."

"Alice did mention Thoreau. He's one of my favorites."

"He's one of my least favorites right now." I bit my lip, and Edward looked understandably confused. "He's driving me crazy. I can't put him in the puzzle." Awkward pause. "It's a long, long, boring story."

Edward just nodded, a twinkle in his eyes. How stupid did I sound tonight?

Silence. Chewing. Okay, I had to ask the questions.

"So tell us about med school. Or your jazz band. I have to hear about one or the other. Alice talks about both." I swallowed and saw Alice squirm a little in her chair. Was this bad timing? Were the topics off limits? If they were, then Alice shouldn't run around using them as her brother's selling points.

"Which one would you prefer?" He looked sideways at me, offering a crooked smile that I knew...I just knew I could get used to. "Because neither is very interesting, but I'm happy to oblige."

Of course he's humble too. Because he's apparently perfect. A perfect, beautiful, smart, witty, sexy man, with eyes that continued to dazzle me deep into the pit of my stomach.

"I pick school," I paused and pushed my hair behind my ears. "But I can relate to how annoying it can be to have people ask you about it. Honestly, I'm just interested in how difficult it must be, med school I mean." I smiled hesitantly, picking at a pile of rice with my fork.

"Did you make this curry, Bella?" Edward leaned a little closer to me. Suddenly I could smell him. Sandalwood? With a hint of eucalyptus? Where had that question come from? I guess he really didn't want to talk about his life in California at all. I immediately felt a bit flustered.

"Yes." I glanced at Jasper, and he looked amused.

"Because it's really, really good." His eyes fell on mine, sharp. "There's this place near the hospital that has a massaman curry. I go almost every day. But this is even better." The simplest of compliments—kind and precise.

"Oh, thank you." I crossed and uncrossed my legs, unsure of where to go from here. "I got the recipe from a friend, though, it's not mine."

"You wanted to know about the hospital?"

This man would win a medal if there were an Olympics event for changing the subject.

"Sure, yeah."

"Tell her about the ER." Alice chimed in then. Then she looked at me and winked. "It's crazy. Edward handles it all so well."

"Well, there's no way to handle it. Things just happen." He popped a stray cashew in his mouth and then smiled at his sister. "Alice loves to hear the ER stories. Maybe she should have been the one to go to med school. I just barely get along. I started my residency in January. I'm at a hospital in downtown LA...it's...well, we see a little bit of everything."

He seemed to be talking to me now, really talking.

"Never a dull moment?" I watched him as he seemed to be filtering possible stories in his head.

"Never." Smile and bronze hair tug. "Just the other day we had ten kids come in from a bus accident. Everyone was okay, just minor injuries. But dealing with the parents, and trying to identify them. A mess. But the reason I mention it is because I had the single most rewarding moment the other day."

"What was that?" Jasper piped in, leaning forward to our part of the table.

But Edward's eyes didn't leave mine as he spoke.

"This tiny little girl just needed a few stitches on her arm. She must have been maybe six years old. Of course, most kids hate anything to do with stitches or needles. But she seemed so content. And then, right before I sent her off to her mom, she said, 'thank you for fixing me, sir. You did a very nice job, and it didn't even hurt.'" Edward smiled and took a gulp of wine from his glass. I saw the muscles of his throat move and was very suddenly turned on...whether it was the story or his mannerisms....probably both.

"That's really precious." I nodded and cupped my chin in my right hand. "I can see how those little moments would be important."

"Yeah...it's..." Edward looked like he was going to say something but changed his mind. "Yeah, you're right."

A little silence, and then Jasper, oh always the ice-breaking and tender-joke-making Jasper, cut in.

"Bella, this is really great farm animal."

Thoreau recommended that people live their lives at the mid-point between nature and civilization, that they should find the most delicate line between the two and live upon it. A person needed some wildness in their life, he always insisted. But "wilderness" had a negative connotation for centuries; it wasn't until humans—and particularly spoiled Americans—became "too" civilized that they could appreciate the wildness of nature. We had tamed the wilderness, with our crop rows and machines and literature and art, but we always wished to return to it.

In some ways, I've always believed that I knew where that magic line was. The biggest part of my life was always my environment—the heat of Phoenix or the lush damp of the Pacific Northwest. There was a meadow close to Forks that made me happier than any book ever had, or any person for that matter. But on the flip side of all of that was the realization that I was sometimes reclusive. Too prone to the quiet. Was Thoreau crazy? Was he simply trying to justify his social dysfunctions?

Random thoughts swam in my head as I rode in the backseat of Alice's car, seated snug and close next to Jasper, as we made our way downtown. Was I living in my own head too much? Was I fun to be around, or was it painfully obvious that I over-analyzed everything about myself?

Grrrr. How did I even end up in this car? I could have easily declined a night out. We'd had a wonderful dinner and several glasses of wine. No one would have protested if I chose to end my night there. But no.

Edward was scrunched in the front seat, watching the scenery intently, asking his sister about a restaurant he spotted, and then a hospital we passed.

"Sorry, I just haven't been here in years. Alice and our parents usually come out to California, or I fly to Columbia."

Honestly I couldn't take much more of him. But it was a compliment to him, really, to think that. He was so polite. Everything he said sounded meaningful. Edward Cullen was both beautifully enigmatic and quietly brilliant in ways we'd all like to be. I certainly would. But meeting a person like him was frustrating--to be so close but not to be let inside. For Jasper, Edward was a perfect new friend. Talkative and friendly, and Jasper HAD to keep him at a careful distance because he was Alice's brother. It made sense. For me, though...it was like dangling a piece of the sweetest chocolate in the world about a foot from my face.

We found a parking spot along Broad and jumped from the car. Alice looked at her cell phone and seemed disappointed by something.

"Guys, I've failed on locating some dancing." She shrugged her shoulders and motioned for us to follow her. "But let's get a drink."

We ambled down the sidewalk. I knew where we were headed. There was a tiny dive bar on the west side of downtown called Manhattan that the three of us had come to call our own. I saw Jasper jump forward to take Alice's hand, and I knew that it would be my responsibility to walk alongside the surgeon on the way. I took a deep breath and looked at him from the corner of my eye. Edward was a nice ambler—slow and casual.

"So what do you think?" I realized as soon as I spoke that my question had been...well, it sounded strange. No qualifier. What did he think about what, exactly? I don't think I even knew what I was asking.

"I think..." He paused, chewing on the left side of his lower lip. Then he darted his eyes to meet mine, a tiny smile threatening at the corners of his mouth. "Lovely."

I choked back a reaction, looking down.

"I'm really glad you're getting some time with Alice. She misses you, I can tell." Cop out, Bella. Cop out. The most beautiful man you've perhaps ever met just threw you a potentially wonderful curveball, and you didn't even try to catch it.

"Yeah, yeah. Alice is my little savior," Edward smiled, but I could have sworn he looked a little disappointed that I hadn't inquired about his cryptic answer. "She keeps me afloat. Her enthusiasm, I mean."

"She does that for us all." I nodded, and suddenly we had arrived at our destination. The walk had gone by so quickly. I couldn't have told you what we passed, or who. All I saw were red glowing lights catching his hair, and Jasper and Alice fishing for their I Ds. Edward and I did the same, filing in line to enter the bar. The entrance was bounded by old wrought iron, and some patio tables and chairs lined the tiny sidewalk. It smelled of smoke and beer and night air. Inside the lights were dimmed to almost nothing, the bar illuminated by a few lanterns and some more of the strings of red lights.

"After you," Edward waited while I made it through the doorway.

And then I felt it. His hand brushed the small of my back, lightly, pushing me forward. And my body was just...liquid. Flickering images in my head that assaulted my senses like a gush of water might. How could I already see the tangled limbs and feel the beat of his heart against mine? Deep kisses like ocean water. For twenty seconds I could see it all, like the touch of his hand allowed me to read his mind or embellish my own.

What was happening?

"What do you want to drink?" He whispered it, smiling, that crooked grin again. I shook my head to rid myself of my inappropriate (though lovely) thoughts.

"Um...just...I usually get a whiskey ginger here."

"Done." And then he was gone, standing at the bar with Jasper. Alice flitted to the spot next to me, requesting that we stake out a good table.

"So what were you and Edward talking about?"

Her tone was suggestive to say the least. Oh, Alice.

"You, actually. How much he loves you." I grinned and took a seat, leaning back to stretch my shoulders.

"You look stunning in that dress, Bella Swan. You have amazing shoulders. You need to dress better all the time." Alice sat across from me, gesturing wildly as she spoke. I got this speech at least once a week. "By the way, I can already see it all."

What?

"What?" I laughed, cocking my head at her.

"You and Edward. It all makes sense. I could see it before, but now that I can observe you guys together...don't fight it. He's been waiting for someone like you I think." Alice seemed so sure, so adorably definitive with her words. I was a bit floored to hear her speak of it so bluntly. Something that wasn't even real. I had known Edward for four hours. And she was printing our marriage license. Part of me wanted to love Alice's "visions." And she was often right. About things like the weather or other friends' couplings. But she'd never had one about me. Never speculated about me and my life. This was new.

"Alice, you're insane. I'm not going to lie...Edward's great. But isn't it weird to have this conversation?"

"No, not at all." She smiled and lightly brushed my hand on the table. "Trust me...nothing will be weird."

Oh my god.

I shot her a look of utter frustration as the boys approached. Edward set my drink in front of me, and I busied myself for a moment with squeezing the lemon and stirring it into the cocktail.

"Thank you."

"Bella, I have a feeling we need to become great conversationalists." He chuckled and rubbed his palms on his jeans, nodding toward our companions. Alice and Jasper were all but on top of one another, their chairs pushed close together. They were talking quietly to one another, off in their own world for the foreseeable future.

"Looks like it, or the evening will be incredibly dull." I smiled and traced my glass with my fingertips.

"Alright, random question time."

"What is that?" I had an idea.

"We play it in the on-call room all the time when we can't sleep. Just ask me a random question. This can get amusing, trust me. And you get to know someone better."

Alright, who was I fucking kidding? I'd play any word game this man asked me to.

"Okay, give me an example." I spoke softly, turning to face him.

"Hmm...alright," he hesitated only for a second. "How do you feel about milk?"

"What? How so?" I stifled a giggle. He popped his "k" when he spoke the word.

"Whole? Skim? One percent? Soy? You can tell a lot about a person by what kind of milk they drink." He feigned some seriousness in his eyes, setting his gaze in a hard line. His sense of humor was obviously multi-faceted. I couldn't pin it down yet.

"Definitely whole. There's no point otherwise. It's quality, not quantity. On the dairy fat, I mean." What in the hell was I saying? I was amazed when he laughed, when he looked genuinely amused by my random answer. I guess that was the point of the game, though.

"Good answer. I feel the same way. Your turn." He lifted his beer to his lips and took a long gulp, his eyes on mine the whole time.

"Favorite beer, besides the one you're currently drinking?"

"Good question. This isn't my favorite—this is my standby." He pointed to his bottle of Red Stripe. "My favorite is Chimay. But I make it a splurge."

Was a Cullen informing me that he drank his beer economically? Impressive. The Cullens could probably afford to buy the brewery of his choice.

We went on like this for about an hour. I learned that Edward wore a purple dinosaur Halloween costume four years running when he was a kid. And that he hated pickles. That he loved cars as much as Alice. That their mother Esme made prize-winning apple pie. And that he owned two pianos but no couch.

"I have an armchair, but no couch." He laughed, tugging on the hair that fell across his forehead. "Alice would die if she saw my apartment right now."

We'd lost Alice and Jasper to the patio long ago. As the clock ticked away above the bar, nearing 1am, it seemed as though we should join them and consider calling it a night. At least, that's what the practical, rational part of my brain suggested. But really...I could have sat in that chair next to him indefinitely.

"What did Thoreau have to say about drinking?" Edward chugged the last bit of his third beer and stretched his arms, a yawn escaping his throat.

"I guess if you grew your own hops and grain, he'd have been okay with it. I mean, who knows. Henry David might have been a lush." I smiled and drained the last bit of my drink (also the third) with the skinny red straw.

"Ask me one more question, Bella." His right hand looked as though it had a small spasm, and then suddenly it was grazing my hip. An innocent gesture. Jasper touched me this way all the time...friends did all the time. But the proximity to him...it just seemed electric, even the tiniest graze. He looked at me expectantly, shifting his palm to push into my knee.

He was a little drunk. And so was I.

"What kind of surgeon do you want to be?"

He looked a little pained. Fuck. Why did I keep bringing the med school shit up? Obviously he hated talking about it.

"None of the above." He smiled then, a sheepish one. Like he'd let something awful slip.

"What?" I furrowed my brow. My eyes were a little hazy against the dim room. "You don't..."

"Nope. I'm done. I..."

"Bella! We're moving!" The high pitch of Alice's tipsy voice rang shrill above our heads. I looked at Edward with a little shock, a little wonder in my face. Maybe I should pretend he never said anything. Maybe I should prod him for more information later. Maybe he should prod me with...

"Bella! Edward! Asses moving!"

Edward motioned for us to get up. The moment was gone, but everything seemed different. More intriguing. Maybe he wasn't perfect after all?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Does this chair have four legs?

Heading home was a blur of hands and elbows as we piled into a cab right outside of the bar a few minutes later. No one trusted Alice at the wheel of her car just yet, and she (as per usual) was responsible enough to admit that we were probably right.

I ended up sandwiched uncomfortably between Alice, who couldn't stop giggling because of our current positioning, and Jasper, who really just looked like he was about to fall asleep. This was typical Jasper; he was a lightweight. He was rocking back and forth, threatening a heavy crash on my right shoulder. Edward had wisely managed to claim the front seat next to the driver. He rolled his head back and glanced at us attempting to get situated, a smirk on his lips.

The devil. He was the devil.

"Bella, can Edward just sleep at your place too? That's where I'm headed. Otherwise it's all too complicated. I need to be able to get my car in the morning." Alice nudged me in my ribs repeatedly, and I shot her a death glare.

Of course. And I'm sure he'll look beautiful and catlike stretched out on our couch. His sandalwood-ness would permeate our pillows and blankets and then never go away. And all night long, he'd be just a few yards away...breathing and thinking and becoming even more mysterious...

Everyone was looking at me, including Edward, waiting for an answer. I mean, fuck, what was I supposed to say? No? Or I could be really brazen. Hey guys, sure, but Edward, you know our couch is off limits and the only real available space is on the right side of my bed...

"Sure, of course. We've got plenty of room. The couch folds out." I nodded and silently thanked the blanket of night for covering my flushed cheeks. Everyone looked satisfied by my answer, and the cab driver seemed relieved that we'd all be heading to the same location.

"Thanks." Edward whispered it from the front seat a few seconds later. But I couldn't see his face. It was so late, and my eyelids were growing heavy, but honestly all I really wanted to do was get him alone and finish our round of questioning. He'd either let his secret out accidentally, or he'd let it slip on purpose. Or maybe it was all a joke that he didn't get to finish before Alice herded us away.

I just wanted to know. Maybe it was sick that I wanted to discover a flaw in him.

Or maybe, I realized, I'd never be able to see any flaws in him.

We pulled up to the bungalow and proceeded to mostly fall from the car. Alice paid the driver and yawned as she motioned to all of us. Jasper smiled faintly, but he looked like his legs might not work too much longer. "Lady and gents, a lovely evening. I'm crashing. Jaspppper, come on." She rolled his name from her tongue in a teasing tone, and I rolled my eyes. Edward looked a little uncomfortable. To be expected, though, when your little sister is slightly tipsy and pulling her boyfriend to bed right before your eyes. I raised an eyebrow his way, and he chuckled, heading to follow the two of them up to the porch.

"Good lord, this man is heavier than you'd think." Alice laughed and propped Jasper against the door-frame while she fished for his keys.

"You guys okay?" She looked from me to Edward. We both nodded. Edward leaned forward to peck his sister on the cheek, and she giggled. "Night, bro bro. Night Bella." And then she looked at me for all of three seconds, but the glance was so pointed, so raw, so exuberant, that I had to turn away.

Alice would hear from me tomorrow.

She had to tug Jasper along with a couple of struggling grunts; he might have been passed out, I couldn't tell. But they were quickly gone, and the door to Jazz's bedroom closed quietly.

The front door remained open, little gusts of warm wind blowing in. The night had shifted into its quiet, gloaming phase. The neighborhood was quiet, very dark; the only sounds were our breathing and a dog barking down the road in the distance. I looked to Edward and shook my head once, reaching to close the door behind us. I needed a glass of water and an Advil to safeguard against tomorrow's impending whiskey headache.

"No, wait." He stepped in front of me, looking as tired as I felt, but expectant.

"Hmm?" I placed my hands on my hips and swayed.

"Want to sit on the porch with me? I...I have a hard time sleeping. School did it to me." He yanked a few strands of hair and pulled. How many times a day did he do that? Would it ever get annoying? Yeah, probably not. I sighed and blinked at him. "I mean, if you're tired, go to bed. I just wanted some company." He shrugged, heading outside, and I was gone. Done and gone.

"I'm coming, sure." He looked back and threw me a soft smile. "Just, wait a sec. I want to grab something."

I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, filling it high so we could share it. I rifled through the drawer next to the fridge for my secret stash of cigarettes. I barely smoked. And I kept them buried here to deter myself as much as possible. But tonight? Too much whiskey and a handsome man potentially about to bare his soul to me on our front porch? Yeah, I needed a few puffs.

Edward seemed surprised at the contents of my hands when I arrived back outside. He'd taken up residence on one of the white rockers, swinging his feet up to meet the banister surrounding the porch. The way his jeans hit his hips caught my eye. So smooth.

"That's a bad habit, Bella." Crooked smile.

"Yeah, well, fuck off. I'm splurging." I grinned and offered him the water, which he gladly gulped a few sips of, before setting the glass down on the tiny wooden table between the two chairs.

"This chair is wobbly."

"I'm sorry," I bit my lips and looked at him curiously.

"Does this chair have four legs? It feels weak." Edward sat up and reached down to feel the bottom. I had to stifle the rumble of laughter in my chest. He looked...concerned. As if he thought the chair beneath him might really crumble.

Gingerly I touched my own hand to one of the arms of his chair.

"It's a rocking chair. So no, it doesn't. Are you okay?"

He looked amused at the revelation. "I guess so...maybe I'm farther gone than I thought." He rocked back and forth a few times, showing off.

He made me smile so easily. Like, not forced smiles, but those smiles that make your face feel like a rubber band is pulling it up and outward from a location you have no control over.

"Got a handle on that now, you think?" I grabbed a ciggie from the pack and reached for the lighter we kept on the little shelf of the table. This was my favorite part. More than smoking it, I loved lighting it. Watching the tiny strands of tobacco begin to burn, turning orange and purple in a perfectly symmetrical fire. I brought the vice to my lips, inhaling deeply. I realized then that Edward had never answered my question, and instead he was staring intently at me, his eyes on my mouth. I immediately blushed ten billion shades of red.

"Can I have one?" What? Perfect Edward smoking? Lordy was the glass house falling apart now.

"Shouldn't those who study medicine advocate cigarette abstinence?" I teased him but while doing so retrieved one for him from the pack, lighting it in my own mouth before passing it to him. He nodded and quickly brought it to his lips.

"Yeah, well you know that's a crock now." He laughed and let out his first puff of smoke. "For the record though, this," he said, pointing to the cigarette in his hand, "is a manifestation of stress. Normally I try to act repulsed by them."

"Me too." I paused and waited for him to continue. Somehow I knew he would.

"Bella, you can't tell anyone about this yet." He leaned forward in a whisper, and I smelled him. The night had changed his scent into a new mixture—the sandalwood still, but now also a faint trace of beer and sweat and the damp cotton of his shirt.

"I figured. No problem." I leaned back in my chair, unable to handle his enticing scent. I needed to be as far away from it as possible. "Is everything okay?"

I barely knew him, really. I didn't expect that he would open up very much. But this was an intriguing development nonetheless.

"Well, yes and no." He placed his chin into his right hand, leaning into it as he spoke, so that his voice was a bit muffled. "Do you really want to hear this? I feel awful for..."

"No, don't." I smiled softly and felt for the first time that the words passing between us were not only tender and enjoyable as they had been at the bar but also mildly significant. "I mean, if you want to tell me...I'm actually quite a good listener. And a good talker. I'm both."

"I can tell that." He sighed and offered me a sheepish grin. "Well, thanks. The long and short of it is that I dropped out last month." The breath seemed to leave his body for a moment, as if this was the first time he'd verbalized it. Call me crazy, but when he said it, it appeared as though some weight left his shoulders, flying away into the night. "I haven't told my family yet, or anyone, until now. I guess I thought that if I just ignored it, it wouldn't be real and I wouldn't have to admit anything. I told Alice and our parents that I had an extended semester break. Honestly, I'm surprised my dad didn't see right through that."

"He's a doctor too, right?" I took a sip of cool water and curled my knees under me on the chair.

"Yep. He's an ER doctor now," Edward looked wistful as he spoke of his father. "He's so good at what he does. He's the reason I gave it a try. He didn't pressure me at all. I just...I just wanted to be like him so much."

"That makes sense." I took the last drag of my ciggie and rubbed it across the concrete below me, careful to extinguish the remaining embers. "Sometimes I wished I had a parent who inspired me in that way." I laughed dryly, tossing the butt deep into the night.

"What do they do?" I felt bad for interrupting his story, but he looked genuinely interested.

"Charlie, my dad, is the police chief of a pinprick of a town," I chuckled, "and my mom's an...artist, I guess you could say. But she's done ten thousand things and never settled on a single one." Oh, Renee. I needed to call her soon. She and Phil were about to leave on another one of their crazy cross-country adventures.

"Sounds interesting, though." Edward mimicked my actions with his cigarette, tossing it as far as he could like it was a game.

"Yeah...interesting. Oddly enough, my dad's much more laid back than Renee. You'd think it would be the opposite. I felt like I was raising him when I lived with him. Cooking, cleaning, but you know I loved it. And I felt safe with him." I sighed, blinking hard against the fatigue in my eyes. Why was I telling him all of this? "Sorry, Edward, I didn't mean to go on and on..."

"No, I like it." He spoke in a whisper but he sounded so definitive. If there was one thing I knew for sure about Edward Cullen thus far, it was this: he spoke what he meant, in a moment, of the moment. He didn't mask any of his words with pointless details or euphemisms or anything. "It's weird. I feel so lucky for the life I've had. My parents are amazing people. But...I've always wondered." Pause, hair pull of course, a cough. "Did Alice tell you I was adopted?"

"Yes, she mentioned it." I suppose it was okay that I admitted that.

"Well, it's not one of those adoption mysteries where I'll someday search for my long lost parents," he chuckled. "I know exactly who they were. Elizabeth and Robert Masen. They were from Chicago. They'd moved down to Charlotte when they had me, to make a go of things. They were young, their parents didn't approve of the marriage or me." His eyes were glazing over as he spoke. I silently wondered if it was the exhaustion or the emotion of his story. Maybe both. "They died in a car accident one night while I was with the next door neighbor. I was six months old. I don't remember them of course. The families decided that the best option was to put me up for adoption and move on."

Wow. I sat open mouthed next to him, mid-sip of water. Was this something he told many people? From the intimate tone of his voice, I was tempted to guess not. I pulled my hair behind my ears and busied myself straightening my dress for a few seconds.

What to say?

"Edward, wow. I'm...that's pretty crazy. I'm sorry." I sighed and leaned back further in the rocker. There was an odd contentment surrounding us. "I guess the one thing is that it was better that it happened when you were a tiny baby. That you don't have these memories."

"Yeah, exactly. So I'm lucky that Carlisle and Esme Cullen thought they couldn't have kids back then, pre-Alice," he laughed and leaned back in his own chair, still a little unsteady in his movements. "But honestly, I wonder sometimes about them. The Masens. How different would I be if they hadn't died? If they'd raised me?"

"It makes sense to wonder those things." I agreed, smiling gently at him. "I certainly know what it means to be a what-iffer. And an analyzer, all day every day." My head was starting to hurt a little, but I didn't care. There was nowhere I'd rather be than on this porch with him. How had all of this happened in one night? That suddenly he seemed like a very important person in my life.

Maybe the little pixie was right. Maybe this was something.

Or maybe I was just delusional as well.

"We may be kindred spirits." Holy smokes, baby Jesus, did he just say that? "You know I'm already having second guesses about quitting, but I know that's mostly just my guilt."

"You don't want to be a doctor." I didn't speak it as a question, just as a statement.

"No. There can be great reward in it, I see that, but I don't enjoy it." He scraped his feet against the ground and wrapped his arms around his chest. "I don't want to wake up in twenty years unhappy. I'd rather disappoint everyone now so I can have a chance at figuring out what I actually want to do."

"What are you going to do from here?" I inquired softly, half-wondering if this conversation was crossing strange lines.

"The music stuff. Lord, people are going to have a lot to say about that." He was laughing though, more sparkle in his eyes now than I'd seen since we got home. I could see what he meant. Rich boy quits med school to pursue life in his jazz band. Sounded like a cliché waiting to happen.

And part of me was suddenly very, very jealous. At least every other day, I had the thought that if I just had the money, I would escape school and run away somewhere to start over. It was just a fantasy for me, though, and Edward was making it a reality. Part of me was proud of this man I barely knew. And yes, another part of me was quite envious.

"The hardest part will be telling your family," I offered, careful with my words. "But after that, I bet you'll feel really good about it all. I have to admit, I'm a bit jealous." There, I'd even said it.

He looked confused.

"School is getting old...I feel like I'm on one of those kiddie roller coasters that just goes nowhere." I shrugged my shoulders and reached for another cigarette. One motion of his head and I knew he wanted another as well. We took a few seconds in reverence to light them and watch them glow, and then I spoke again. "I realize I have little I can actually complain about. Life is so good in so many ways. I just feel a little bored."

"We should run off and join the Peace Corps, and just send our families postcards after the fact." Edward took a long drag from his cigarette, and I laughed at his suggestion.

"I could actually be convinced." Our eyes met. His were so red now, so tired. I could be convinced to go somewhere with him, I realized. Probably even anywhere. "Will they let you play the piano in the Peace Corps, though?" That was important.

Laughter in his exhausted, half-red, half-green eyes. "They'd better. I'm packing the piano when we go."

Somehow we'd ended up close together again, leaning up and across at one another on the rocking chairs. I brought my wrist to my nose very subtly, thankful that the faintest scent of freesia still clung to my skin. I took a deep breath, another puff of smoke, and then I knew the night was probably over.

I relished in his skin so close to mine at least temporarily, like it had been at the bar as well. His arms were almost parallel to mine now, just a few inches apart. Some part of me wanted to close the distance.

"I'm going to go to bed now." I didn't have much left in me, and I know that Edward could see that.

"Just tell me where the blankets for the couch are, and I'm going to crash too. I'm sorry to be an inconvenience." He stood up, quickly stomping out his cigarette. I did the same.

"Not at all. Follow me." I walked, a little dazed, into the quiet house with Edward behind me. I reached into the closet near the door for the extra sheets and blankets. We tiptoed to the couch, where without words I gestured for Edward to help me unfold the couch. The creaking of the springs was loud, and I jumped. Edward managed to laugh at me without producing a sound at all. Just like Alice. Did their parents teach them that skill?

"Bella, thanks for talking. I know you were tired." He whispered and looked over at me as we pulled the blue fitted sheet unto the mattress together. I smoothed a few wrinkles from the sheet and shook my head towards him.

"Thank you too. I...I just wish I had more wisdom to share. My brain is working at half capacity tonight." I chuckled so lightly that I'm not sure if he heard it or not. And then I quickly threw his other sheet on top of the first, followed by a patchwork quilt that we always used for guests. I didn't realize until a full half-minute later that Edward had sat down on the mattress. He was looking at me through the dark; the only lights in the room came from the dim windows and a timer in the nearby kitchen. I could just make out his eyes.

"Bella, you have so much to say." That assertive tone again.

What?

"You think?" I plopped down dangerously close to him, both confused and intrigued by his observation. "I used to think so."

"I do think so." He moved his arm behind me, until I could feel the heat of it close to my back. I couldn't help it. I leaned backward into it, into his arm, and before I (or probably he) knew what had happened, I was laying directly against his left arm. The fatigue and his proximity made me liquid. My pulse felt like it was just, in fact, floating in water. My body was made of warm water like a lazy river or a rain puddle.

What he did next shocked me even more than the position we'd seemingly accidentally found ourselves in. Edward shifted. My back must have been hurting his arm a tad, because he shifted it to my shoulders. But now his body was precise and flush with mine.

We had very deliberately nestled close to one another.

My eyes searched his hungrily, not sure what he wanted me to say or do. Really I just needed to close my eyes and sleep. Maybe in the morning some of this evening would make sense.

"You look like you're about to pass out." And I closed my eyes to his words, and that little chuckle like golden bells. I leaned into him. Our bodies felt the pressure of each other; they were pushing, kinetically feeding off of one another.

"Thanks for...saying that...Edward."

And that's the last thing I said. I remember feeling a warmth against my forehead. Had he kissed me there? Or was it my imagination? I remember the heat from his body coming off of him in waves. And then nothing.

I woke up to several sounds that I couldn't piece together:

It was raining. Either that, or someone was hosing our house down. I heard the pelting of raindrops on a window, sporadic but heavy.

I heard music. Neko Case, to be exact. It was set on low volume, but I could make out the song. Her voice always sounds haunting, like a medieval choir with a little bit of a country twang.

_**Now that we've met, **_

_**We can only laugh at these regrets.**_

_**Common as a winter cold...**_

Where was it coming from?

And then the breathing. It wasn't my own.

I opened my eyes almost fearfully, finding that I wasn't in my bed at all. I'd suspected as much. My head was pushed into the corner of the couch, facing the front part of the house, and my right hand gripped one of the pillows. My body was curved into a fetal position, as if I'd been fitful during the night (which I usually was, and particularly when I slept somewhere I wasn't used to).

I sighed and mustered some courage.

Sitting up, I discovered what in the last few moments my brain had already begun to suspect as well.

Edward and I had fallen asleep together on this fold-out couch. He was laying in the middle of the mattress, arms a little extended. Maybe that's why I was pushed so far to the side. He had hogged the bed. I smiled to myself at the thought, biting my lip as I observed his still-sleeping form. He wore all of his clothes from the night before, as did I of course. We were a mess of wrinkles and tangled sheets, both of us. My heart leaped inside my chest several times, hard, as I watched his even breathing.

It was dim outside, matching the patter of rain in my ears, so I couldn't figure out what time it might be.

I guess I was realizing that I wouldn't mind making a habit of this. Waking up with Edward, I mean, in a tangle of sheets.

His face was so smooth, so relaxed as he slept...except for a little furrow above his right brow.

I know I was staring opened-mouthed at him in that instant that he awoke. His eyes darted open...fresh and green and the red gone, and I snapped my mouth shut, looking down in embarrassment. He only smiled...and then his smile turned into a yawn.\

"You never made it to your room, I'm sorry." He let out a deep breath and a little moan. And damn it all to hell, that sound made my belly tingle.

"It's okay. I must have slept well, because I don't really remember falling asleep." That was a lie. I remember that we touched, that our bodies were hovering together. _That I'd wanted to kiss him. _That he might have kissed my forehead as I fell asleep, setting me on fire...

"You seemed exhausted." He sat up to join me, studying what I'm sure was my disheveled hair and makeup-smeared face. Not all of us could look like a Greek god in the morning.

"I was." Awkward pause. "Did you sleep well?"

"As well as I ever do." He yawned once more and pulled the sheet away from his body. "I'm sorry if I pushed you into the corner over there. I have a tendency to take up a lot of space when I sleep."

"Well, I have a tendency to flip all over the place. I probably assaulted you in the middle of the night, and you just don't remember it." I turned red as soon as the words left my lips. Good lord, Bella, what did you just say?

He seemed amused, raising an eyebrow in response.

"I think I would have remembered that."

Fuck. He looked really handsome when he made innuendo-laced comments. Note to self: find a way to get him to make many of them.

Neko Case was still drifting softly to the living room from somewhere. I realized now that Jasper and Alice must be awake with the music on. Had one of them passed through the living room yet, to behold the sight...me and Edward, all bedded up together? If so, Alice would never stop now. She'd be a giggling mess.

"Coffee?" I rubbed my temples and turned to get up from the mattress.

"Please." He cleared his throat then, and I saw one of his hands reach out to steady me as I stood. But more than steadying, I felt like it was a grasping of sorts as well. Like he had something to say. "And thanks again, for...you know, talking." He looked away, his cheeks a little...rosy? Was Edward Cullen blushing just a bit? I smirked inwardly at the mere thought.

"Don't thank me again." I smiled and stood up, sad to feel his hand leave my arm. Immediately I wanted it back. "So, coffee?"

"I'll help."

"Yeah, I'll help too."

Shiny happy pixie alert.

Alice came bounding into the room in a pair of yoga pants and one of Jasper's old t-shirts. She winked at me before cutting ahead of both of us, making for the kitchen.

"I was wondering when you two would choose to grace the morning with your presence. It's almost eleven." She spoke pointedly, reaching into the fridge for a carton of eggs. "Now I can make the omelets like I promised Mr. Hale." Alice always made omelets on Saturdays. And they were really good.

Edward and I scooted into the archway of the kitchen. Our eyes met, and I think we shared the same thoughts. Most of them communicated how ridiculously wonderful Alice was.

"Bella, Edward, I've got breakfast and coffee covered if you want to...you know, change or wash up or anything." She laughed and eyed me as she reached for a frying pan. I caught her innuendo, of course. In other words, Bella, I see that you slept in a bed with my brother in the dress you wore last night, instead of making it to your own bed, so wanna go freshen up now?

"Yeah, yeah, thanks." I smiled faintly and brushed by Edward.

Heading slowly into my room, I heard some small talk pass between Edward and Alice. She mentioned to him that he could borrow some sweats from Jasper if he wanted. Edward brushed off the offer, though, and said he'd just wash up in the bathroom. Something about knowing that he would be in the same clothes for the foreseeable future, those wrinkled cuffs at his elbows, his body masked in that same glorious musky scent from last night...well, those thoughts sent my hungover, enamored little mind sailing off the proverbial edge.

I quickly eased my door shut and let out a long sigh.

I slipped the blue dress from my body. Finally. I couldn't take its constricting waist too much longer. I pulled out a white cotton tank from a drawer and then fished for some sweat pants. I hesitated before changing into them, though. Would it matter for Edward to see me like this? Classic Bella Swan, sweatpants and messy bun and barefoot in all her glory?

Hmmpph.

I compromised for now with a little lip gloss and a polished pony-tail; I also threw on a fitted gray hoodie that Alice had "donated" to me. She did that a lot. She'd claim that she was sick of a certain item, or that she'd bought the wrong size, but really I think she purchased clothes for me and then just ripped the tags off before bringing them over. She was slowly infiltrating my wardrobe. Smart strategy, I had to admit.

I re-emerged to find Alice bent over the stove cooking. I snaked by unnoticed and headed towards the bathroom. The door was closed. Edward must be inside. I peeked into Jasper's room—the door was wide open—and found him propped on his bed with his laptop. Programming more haunting music to fill the house, no doubt.

"Hey, Bells." He looked up, and his tone was light, teasing. I rolled my eyes.

"Not you too. Leave me alone." I leaned against his doorframe and played with the zipper on my jacket.

"Oh I wasn't going to say anything." He laughed, lowering his voice to a taunting whisper. "I saw all I needed to see. No need to talk about it."

"Oh my God." I blew out a hushed breath and turned my nose up at him. He only continued to laugh, turning the music up a few notches until Neko flooded the tiny hallway.

The bathroom door opened.

"Hey there." Was he...oh. I'd let my eyes go hazy. I had to refocus on him. Edward. He looked...sexier...was that possible? Freshly washed face. He smelled of soap now—the bar of Ivory soap we kept at the sink.

"Hey. I was just..." Suddenly I was all tongue-tied again. Magic spell gone, huh? I shook my head and smiled weakly at him.

"All yours." He smiled back and left me to it. I caught one more glance at a fitfully gleeful Jasper, snarled at my roommate, and then locked myself in our bathroom.

Breakfast wasn't awkward, just...comical. It was comical.

Alice played the referee, guiding the conversation with a little smirk in her eyes and a playful smile that never left her lips. Jasper played to her whims, of course (like when she commented on how well Edward and I had gotten on by ourselves at the bar the night before), and Edward and I were left to sneak knowing little glances at one another. I just wish I knew what was behind those eyes of his, what was behind his kind words and gentle touches. Is this how he made a new friend? Or was it more? It had to be, right? Although the mere thought seemed ridiculous if I left it sit in my head too long.

He'd opened up to me, seemingly so intimately, and in return, I to him.

I chewed my food slowly, savoring the red peppers and scallions Alice had surprised us with in her amazing omelets. I must have blanked out for several minutes, because I re-emerged in the conversation as Jasper waved a hand in my face.

"Bella...you might need to see someone about your zoning out tendencies, really, hon." He chuckled, his blond hair flying in his eyes. "Did you hear our plan?"

No I hadn't.

"What plan?" Furious blush. I looked at Edward. He was sipping on a glass of orange juice looking like some sort of catalog page come to life again.

"Alice and Edward are going to head back to her place and freshen up and relax. But we're all going to go check out a couple of bands at the 40 Watt later. Yes?" Jasper looked at me quizzically. I must have looked so lost.

"Oh, oh..." I chewed my lip and smiled. "Yeah, yeah. I should get some work done today, but later sounds good."

Everyone nodded, and the spotlight shifted from disheveled me, thank God.

"Bro, is it weird for you to have such an open schedule?" Alice cut in, looking to her brother. "I mean, suddenly not having to be up at 6 am, or whatever ungodly hour they call you in?" She looked so sweet, Alice, her lips curved in a loving smile. She was genuinely happy to see her brother get a rest, be able to relax from the rigors of med school. Little did she know...it was going to end up being a very long break.

Edward looked a little uncomfortable, and his eyes met mine briefly, searching for a flicker of support. I gave what I could, nodding and crinkling my nose. He smiled.

"Yeah...the open schedule is nice." Edward chugged another gulp of juice and looked at me again as he continued to speak. "It might become addicting, actually."

Good thing I was sitting down. If I'd been standing, I know I would have fucking collapsed in that instant.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Did you Want a Lemon, or a Lime?

Quite a few of you lovely readers have noticed that I'm attempting to fit in as many Twilight anecdotes and references as possible—Alice's "predictions," Jasper's calmness, Edward's adoption, etc. There are a few planted in this chapter as well, the most noteworthy being the song...well, you'll see!

For those of you wondering what other characters are going to make an appearance...no worries, Emmet/Rose and Esme/Carlisle are on their way in a few chapters' time. Rose comes in as Jasper's older sister, and of course Em is her big burly teddy bear as per usual. Everyone else...is going to remain a secret for now.

Happy reading!

I spent the afternoon laid out on my bed with my feet behind me, kicking in the air. I was frozen in repose. I lived a normal day briefly when I called to catch up with Renee. She and Phil had just purchased new motorcycles (yeah, I got none of those genes). They were headed out on a cross-country highway journey, an "epic" kind of road trip Renee had insisted, and they'd end their journey with me in Georgia in a few weeks.

I propped my laptop up in front of me to make myself feel slightly productive. I was reviewing some old material on climate.

"Let us begin with the weather," one historian wrote in the early twentieth century, in his manifesto on the benefits slavery had paid to the southern economy. African Americans could toil away in the muggy, mosquito-infested southern climate more naturally, more easily, he insisted; the weather had made the racial hierarchy, had divided the labor along evolutionary lines.

I write about HOW people have written. I write about how ideas have been replaced by newer ones. This one, for example, had thankfully been debunked by a subsequent century of more open literary and scholarly minds, and research and civil rights.

But this thing about weather defining us...not racially, no, but emotionally. This idea haunted me.

Like last night. Somehow the air had been both muggy and a little cool. Edward's skin had become so dew-y because of it, supple and shining under the light of our porch. He just seemed right in place. Which was strange. Forty-eight hours ago I had never uttered this man's name, let alone lusted after him.

I growled into a pillow, resigning myself to laying there like a numb rag doll.

I over-think everything; this is my curse. Sometimes I liked to blame that on Mike, at least when it came to thinking about me and men. He'd made me weary, made me suspicious, I often lamented. But truthfully, I probably was just scared. Scared to find someone I really liked, someone who might stick around and love me for who I am.

I spent an unusually long time getting ready that evening.

Jasper had gone ahead to Alice's earlier for dinner, but I had stayed behind under the guise of getting more work done. Honestly, though, I just couldn't bear another meal with Edward right now. The way he chewed his food drove me crazy, made my heart beat faster. After our interactions last night and this morning, I felt like we'd crossed some sort of odd line in the getting to know one another process. And that should have made me feel better, should have made me hopeful. But nervous Bella reigned right now, and nervous Bella insisted that she be on edge now. Reading meaning behind every hair tug, every word, every breath.

I pulled out all the stops. If there was one thing I could control, it was my appearance. I pulled on a heather gray tube dress that Alice had basically ordered me to buy on a recent trip to Atlanta; it hugged my curves in the right places, hitting just below my knees in a smooth swoop. Even I had to admit it felt sexy. I hardly ever wore heels—clumsy women should not run around in heels, trust me—but tonight I felt like I had to be a bit brave. I threw on one of the only pairs I owned. They were charcoal, with a square-shaped bow on the tip.

Hair down, a little eyeliner (had I gone mad?), and some red-tinted lip gloss. Alice would approve. I smiled at myself in the mirror at the thought.

It was new-band night at the 40 Watt. Which...well, obviously I was here for the company. This place brings in amazing bands and artists all the time, but I guess they also feel the need to give back to the community every once in awhile. Hell, REM (originally from Athens) might have even debuted at a new-band night. I shouldn't be so cynical.

I saw them at the little bar in the far left corner of the club. Everything was so loud and hazy, but the three of them were illuminated by a tiki light above their heads. Jasper was bent over whispering something to Alice—and it must have been something funny, because she was in near-hysterics. And...Edward. Edward was smiling but looked a little distant, his drink in his right hand (he'd switched from beer...odd...it looked like vodka...Lordy), his other idle on the counter.

I swallowed hard and walked toward them. There'd be no reason to shout their names—they'd never hear me over the din of the band currently hopping around onstage, an ensemble with no fewer than five tambourines. Why would you need five tambourines?

Edward actually spotted me first. His head bobbed around the crowd by the bar, and he motioned with a nod and a quick smile. If I fainted, I reasoned, at least he had medical training and could take care of me. Sigh.

"Hey!" I had to basically scream just to sound like my voice was hitting a normal volume. "Tambourines, much?"

Jasper laughed and reached over to hug my shoulders loosely. Alice joined him, and I was smothered for a quick moment.

"Bella, you look so hot. The dress looks great." Alice whispered that directly in my ear. Honestly, hearing it sent a little shiver down my spine. She knew what I was doing. I knew what I was doing. I pulled back and smiled at her, a little sheepishly, and then mouthed a "thank you."

"So I take it you're not a fan of the tambourines? By the way, we missed you at dinner." Edward leaned in to join our little huddle. He looked just delicious. I'm going to be, say, fifteen years old again and say that he just looked...yeah, delicious is the only word I could think to use. Obviously he had a bit of a uniform, but the colors tonight had changed. This time, he wore a pair of black jeans, but they were the same fitted, vintage design, straight and falling against his hip in a smooth line. He was sinew-y, but not too thin. He had a gray t-shirt on, with another light-blue collared shirt piled on top. Rolled up at the sleeves again.

"No. On the tambourine. Well, not five at once. Wait, don't tell me, you play the tambourine too?" I smiled and leaned forward as well. It was the only way we'd be able to hear each other, I told myself. But really I just wanted to smell him, feel the heat from his body. Brazen Bella, back in action. And not even one drink to her credit tonight.

"In junior high, so yeah, I take great offense." He smiled, crookedly of course, and took a sip of his drink.

"Is that how you dazzled all the junior high girls, then?" I raised an eyebrow at the same time that I motioned for the bartender to head my way. I needed a drink, or seven, if Brazen Bella was going to keep up her pace. Where had this confidence come from? Less than an hour before, I'd been ready to join a nunnery to avoid having to deal with him.

Edward was digging for the slice of lime hidden under the ice in his glass. Looking down, with the curves of his lips visibly twitching.

It had happened again. I couldn't read him at all.

"Bella, did you want a drink?" Jasper chuckled and nudged me, pointing to the bartender I had beckoned.

"Uh, yeah, sorry...just a vodka tonic would be great." I fished for my wallet, removing my eyes completely from Edward. I couldn't bear the thought that my joke had been out of line or that it had somehow sounded stupid.

"Did you want a lemon, or a lime with that...?" The bartender looked annoyed now. I shook myself back into the moment and flashed him a smile.

"Lemon, please, thanks."

"Watch out, Bells is drinking the vodka! Whoa, sugar." Jasper slapped my back, and I grimaced. I don't think he noticed though. He and Alice seemed to be enjoying the music actually, their bodies swaying in time with the tambourines. At this point, Edward seemed to just be watching, that distant look in his eyes again.

"They're great!" Alice shouted and looked for my approval. I nodded, trying to appear as enthusiastic as possible.

"It's crazy!" That's all I could offer. She laughed, seeming satisfied by my exclamation.

"We're going to go get closer to the stage for a bit. Interested?" Alice shouted over to me again, her little body bopping like it was a musical instrument itself.

"No, no, I'm going to sit. Might join you later." She nodded. And then winked. Ah hem, Miss Pixie. I'm not going to lie. If Alice didn't have the kindest heart I'd ever known, I'd have been more than a little weirded out in general at how enthusiastically she was pushing me unto her brother.

Alice motioned to Edward too, who only shook his head and offered a small smile to his sister. She and Jasper left us, and all I could think to do was clear my throat. How incredibly fucking lame.

"Dazzle, huh?"

My heart skipped a beat. I turned to him, simultaneously relieved (that he'd taken my joke as a joke) and confused.

"I like the word." I shrugged my shoulders and started to sip my drink. Act coy, right? I read that in a dating book once; play the apathy card when in doubt.

"Bella..." He looked pained. Pained? His eyes met mine, and I got a little nervous. I'm sure my cheeks were crimson by now. But the dark bar hid that.

"Hmm?" I bit my lip and waited, breathless.

"How would someone go about..." He paused, looking down into his drink again, like he was searching for some sort of answer hidden there. "How would someone go about dazzling YOU?" Then he looked back up.

And I almost fell out of my chair. I bit my lip so hard that I began to taste a tiny trickle of blood. Gripping the bar-top with my left hand, I swiveled closer to him and made eye contact. And Lord, how I was fighting against Shy Bella, and Clumsy Bella too. They couldn't show their faces tonight. Not now.

Edward looked positively beautiful to me in that moment—this odd combination of vulnerable and expectant and glowing in the light.

"It might already be done." I whispered the words, disbelieving them from my own mouth the second they hit the air around us. Could he have even heard me? Read my lips perhaps? I was suddenly very warm, confined by the noise and the bodies moving around us. I gulped a cold sip of the vodka tonic; it was strong, and it burned my throat a bit going down.

"Bella." His right hand came to rest on my left thigh.

Getting warmer.

"Let's go outside?" He looked concerned. Why did he look concerned? Maybe because I'd blanked out completely? I'd stopped breathing I think. Mini panic attack? I sucked in a deep breath and nodded toward him.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

It was as if we were walking in a Bella and Edward sized bubble as we made our way through the rambunctious crowd to the main exit. I felt his hand against my back like the night before, except this time the pressure he applied was confident. His hand was splayed against me, his fingers lightly tickling my spine. And I leaned backward into him a bit as we walked. We might as well have been floating, because nothing but him mattered for the time being.

The night air stung my face with a muggy blast, bringing me back down to earth. I thought we'd head for the benches a few feet away, but Edward obviously had other plans. I briefly considered that we should probably alert Jasper and Alice to our departure. But then some little pocket of my brain assured me that they'd figure it out. Why did this whole evening, this whole weekend in fact, feel like an act of a play long ago written? Like I was stuck inside of one of Alice's premonitions? I didn't understand it, but I wasn't going to fight it. Life was usually hard, and this was fluid, and easy.

My hand slipped into his, and I caught up with his quicker pace. His hand was strong on mine, warm. It felt...nice.

"Sorry...I'm just...listening for something." He looked down at me. I stared up at him, breathless. We were in an alley now, just about a block from where we'd started. Listening for something?

"There it is." He grinned, pulling me to the brick wall of the building to our right.

"What?" I leaned against the brick, following his lead as he slid down the wall to sit on the concrete below. The ground was probably really, really dirty. Hell, I didn't care.

"Block out all the other noise. Third window's open, straight up. Must be someone's apartment." Edward rolled his head back against the brick like it was on a pivot and then settled his gaze on me. And then I heard it. A melody flowing down to us. Soft, pinging chords--such a stark contrast to the music we'd just been listening to.

I closed my eyes. The power of the moment was overtaking me just a bit. Why did I feel hot tears threatening at the corner of my eyes? Because I'd heard this before. Dozens of times before, actually.

"It's DeBussy, isn't it?" I opened my eyes, wiping away the one rebel tear that made it down my cheek.

"Yep...Claire de Lune."

"My mom used to play this for me when I couldn't sleep...when I was a little girl." I smiled and met his gaze again. I could see the recognition reflected in the green pools of his eyes. It was absolutely magnetic. "I love this song."

"Me too." Edward hesitated only a second before reaching out to touch my cheek where that one tear had been. He traced the trail of it, and my face was ablaze. I'm sure I turned red, but I didn't care.

"I heard the music when I walked here earlier with Jasper and Al," he continued, his hand still on my face. "They've been playing DeBussy all night. I've been coming up with scenarios in my head...about who lives there, why they're playing this on a Saturday night. I guess I'll never know though. Unless we march up and knock on the door." So wistful. Edward Cullen was a little wistful, wasn't he? A damn thinker, just like me. We lived by the same curse.

"Probably not a good idea." Pause, and I let out a half-laugh, half-sniffle. "You love music, don't you?" I whispered it, so shamelessly aware that his palm was running down my neck now, exploring, teasing.

"Yes." But he looked like he wanted to change the subject. "Bella...am I crazy, do you think?"

Was HE crazy?

"Why would you say that?" I chuckled lightly. And then I finally found the courage to rest one of my hands atop his, guiding it lower on my neck, pushing it in so he would know that I liked it being there.

"For...I don't know. I just sort of stumbled into your life, and now I'm...it all just seems so fast."

I stiffened for just a moment.

"It is..." I searched his eyes as I spoke. The two words I'd just uttered made him nervous, I could tell. And as selfish as this may sound...well, that made me happy. The affirmation that he wanted me to be on board with this, I mean.

And then I attempted to right my words. "But it seems okay. I mean..."

Grrr. Bella, use your words. Any other day, my Thoreauvian abstractions and poetic phrasings would save me. Tonight, they just wouldn't.

He looked relieved, using his free hand to grab at a chunk of his hair. "That's what I was thinking, too. It wasn't on purpose, though...I mean, I didn't come here thinking this would happen." He looked frustrated with himself, and I was simply entranced at his words. Not entirely coherent, but they were rolling off of his tongue, all golden and soft. "Alice told me a lot about you, though."

"Damn pixie." I sighed and smiled, squinting a bit against the shadows around us. We were hidden here, a dumpster to our right and a dead end to our left. I guess only Edward Cullen could make an alley seem romantic.

"Bella...she's not the reason..." He moved his hand from my neck. Apparently when VERY nervous, he needed both hands to pull at his bronze hair.

"I know that." I spoke with reverence, or at least that's what my voice ended up sounding like. "It's strange how she was right though...I guess I should give her predictions a little more credence after this." I lifted one corner of my mouth in a smile, and that seemed to console him.

"Yeah, she'll take all the credit." His brow furrowed in a gentle laugh. A pause, and carefree Edward had returned. "Care to dance, Bella? I could try...what did you call it...dazzling you a bit?" He stood up and offered his right hand down to me.

I used his hand to right myself; and as soon as I was in a standing position, he'd pulled me towards him, chest to chest. This was the closest we'd ever been. My whole body began to ache in the most divine way; I felt almost limp in his arms, allowing them to snake around me in an instant. There was just one problem, though.

"I can't really...dance. I don't dance. It's the general clumsiness." I sighed and looked up at him. Edward only looked amused.

"I might believe that you don't. But I refuse to believe that you can't." Fuckity-fuck. Crooked grin and his scent pouring out all over me. All I could do was nod, in resignation, in awe, and then we were spinning around slowly. I could feel his feet pick up the gentle melody of the song. For a moment, I was back in my tiny room in Pheonix...a little girl afraid of the dark and even afraid of herself.

But now he'd be associated with this song as well...this beautiful, warm, impossibly enigmatic man who was holding me close to him. How had this happened? And where was it all headed? Did it even matter?

"Has anyone ever called you Isabella?" His breath was warm, with a hint of the vodka and lime.

"Not really...my mom kind of settled on the Bella early on. Why do you ask?" I was genuinely curious.

"No reason, I just wondered. I like the way it sounds. Maybe you'll let me use it once or twice, just for kicks?" He raised his eyebrows in a question.

He could call me anything, and I'd come running. That was the truth. But he couldn't know that just yet.

"Yeah, maybe...maybe." I leaned up against him, pressing my cheek to his chest. I think if I looked into his eyes anymore in that moment I might have combusted. Into happy little pieces of Bella all over the concrete.

We danced (well, he lead and I did my best to follow and not step on his feet) through the song and into another ("Moonlight" I think) before I realized we hadn't spoken in probably ten minutes. I was flooded with such contentment...like if his arms let me go I'd be nothing, unable to move, unable to speak.

"What are you thinking?" I don't know where that question came from. It took me a moment to recognize my own voice.

He didn't hesitate to answer, though.

"How beautiful you are...and warm. You're very warm, so it feels nice to hold you. But I knew it would." That definitive tone again, so crisp, but this time also so tender. "What are you thinking?"

Honestly I never believed that men actually said things like that. My heart fluttered once, twice, and I swallowed hard. I suppose people had told me I was beautiful before...my parents, friends like Alice, maybe even Mike in his precious few tender moments. But it had never sounded like that before. I conceptualized someone like Edward as a beautiful person; I'd never put myself in that category at all. I was so in awe at his words that I'd forgotten that he ended them with the same question I asked of him just seconds before.

"Just about the same thing." I smiled against his chest, holding tighter. "How nice this feels."

"Good. By the way, Bella..." He pulled back to look down at me.

"What?" I smiled up at him, blinking back a tear I didn't want him to see.

"You're dancing. Did you notice?"

Well, kind of. "Hmm...I guess." I laughed and nodded toward our embrace. "Although, I could argue that the only reason I haven't injured myself yet is that you're holding on tight. When I was in high school my mom convinced me that I should say yes to a prom invitation..."

"From who?" Edward interrupted me, his eyes filled with intrigue and humor. And...jealousy? No, that had to be impossible.

"His name was Tyler. A little nerdy, really sweet. But...hell, I was a total nerd myself, I think. So it made sense. Anyway, my mom convinced me that I had to have one 'real' high school experience and go to the prom. I don't know why I even believed I had to listen to her. I was in Forks at the time—she was in Phoenix, would have never known the difference. Anyway, I told Tyler ahead of time that I'd only dance to one obligatory song. We waited until later in the evening; it was a slower song. It was a tragic scene, trust me." I smiled at the memory. That had been so long ago now.

"You have to expound upon that, Bella." Edward looked down at me, a smirk in his eyes. "Like, was it tragic as in Thoreau would have written about it...or tragic as in Shakespeare...or perhaps you're just using tragic to make it sound dramatic..."

"Oh shut up," I teased, reaching to clamp two of my fingers down on his lips. Big mistake, Bella. Had you expected his lips to feel like anything but satin? My belly began to tingle as we stared at one another, both, I think, attempting to downplay the kinetic spark my fingers had just ignited almost accidentally.

"Well, tell me." He whispered it against my hand, making my fingers vibrate against his breath, his mouth.

"I fell on my ass, okay?" I laughed, moving my fingers away from his face. My whole body was pulsing (including some nether regions that were getting rather excited), and I probably needed to practice a little containment right then. "Neither one of us had any rhythm at all. I was wearing a long red dress with a little train...Tyler tripped on it, I fell...I ran out of the gym mortified. Just another day in the life of Bella Swam." Edward looked amused. "At least there was no emergency room visit...so not one of my worst moments."

"Well, if you fall with me around, I can provide you with a proper medical assessment." Glint in his green eyes. Why did that sound sexual?

"I have so many questions for you." I don't know where that came from. I really have no idea. Maybe his simple, to-the-point tone was rubbing off on me; maybe it was like a cold you could catch. I bit my lip, watching nervously as he reacted to my strange statement. He didn't look phased at all.

"I'm sure I have a lot of answers for you, then. Some of them might even be right." The music stopped abruptly, and Edward looked up. I followed his gaze; the light in the window had gone dim. Our DJ had gone to bed, it seemed. It was suddenly just a little darker around us, a little more mysterious. I felt his right hand pull me more snugly against his body. I hadn't even fully re-focused my gaze on him in the dark before I felt his silky lips at the corner of my mouth, touching very tentatively.

Something in me snapped. Some part of me I'd never really known...well, it just took over, and I moved my mouth almost furiously against his; he seemed surprised but willing to play my mouth's eager victim.

Our mouths opened to each other in the same instant—warm, wet. He tasted like citrus and his sandalwood and man. He barely hesitated before moving his tongue against mine. And then we were locked in a tender battle. I reached harder for him, desperately pulling him closer like I would never be able to get enough of him. I'd have been embarrassed about that if it weren't for his matching fervor. His right hand gripped my lower back so tightly that it was the most pleasurable of pain. We found a rhythm in our kiss, but it was a fast one, a little rough...fuck, the pressure felt so good that I really thought I might explode.

But Brazen Bella was forgetting to breathe again. I separated from him with a deep gasp. Edward let out a little moan against my lips. I'd never heard a more heady sound before in my life. Something moved in me, and all I could think was that I wanted to make him moan over and over again for the foreseeable future.

"Sorry, I...I lost my breath." I leaned my forehead up against his chin, panting a little. He chuckled and let out sigh, before planting a gentle kiss at the top of my head. We stretched together in the moment, thickening our embrace with more grasping, more tugging. I think he could tell that we both needed to feel more pressure, and he reached to pull my right leg around his, lifting it up just slightly. I let out a tiny gasp; his hand felt like fire on my thigh, two of his fingers just grazing the skin under my dress. Trail of fire.

I leaned back to look at him. He had a few tiny droplets of sweat at his brow, and his skin was flushed from our kiss. I can't even imagine what I must of looked like. Edward's hair was messier than I'd seen it before, flying in a million different directions—begging to be pulled apart even further, I might add.

"That was..." I was at a total loss for words.

"Amazing...that might be one of the words you're looking for." Edward smiled at me. How did he always manage to kind of read my mind?

Coming down from the high of our frenetic kiss, I felt this urgent need to show him how gentle I could be as well.

He anticipated my next move, of course, and met me halfway. Our lips were all swollen and softened, and when they met this time it was light as a feather. Edward took my bottom lip into his mouth, gently rubbing, nipping at it the tiniest bit. I felt the dampness growing exponentially between my thighs at this point, seeping out until I felt like I had become totally liquid. I'd never been so turned on before in my life. I could feel the slightest trace of Edward's arousal against my right thigh, muted by all the clothing between us. But it made me absolutely ache inside.

He must have been thinking the same thing. Our lips met a few more times, hurriedly, before we broke away.

"We should probably find Al and Jasper." His tone was a bit wistful. Probably because he'd just had the same thought that I did. How in the hell would we continue this little tryst? What was I going to tell Alice? Sorry, Al, my dear, could we make some arrangements for this evening so I could continue to assault your sexy brother with my mouth?

Not going to happen.

"Yep." I faked a smile and began to disentangle myself from him, quite reluctantly. He made a claim on my right hand, grasping it as we stood there recovering.

"Maybe we could just tell them that we'll meet back up with them later?" Edward raised an eyebrow and bit his lower lip. He looked so adorable.

"And Alice won't see right through us? Geez. And you grew up with her! You should know her even better than I do!" I offered him a grim smile, and he conceded with a nod. I squeezed his hand in reassurance, though, and motioned for us to walk. "Let's just see what's going on. We can always sneak back to another alley later..."

I had hoped that would make him smile, and it did.

We found Alice and Jasper still bumping along to the music next to the stage. The band playing was much more tolerable, in my opinion—some softer alt rock, with a grungy, crooning lead singer. Before we got within earshot of our companions, I looked back to ask Edward a question.

"When do I get to hear you play?"

"What?" His brow creased.

"Music...Edward. Your music." I stared up at him, open-mouthed. Recognition flooded his face and he smiled faintly. He'd mastered the enigma-face, that's for sure.

"We'll see." He smirked and squeezed my hand once before letting it go. We certainly didn't want to complicate the evening right now by parading our hand-grasping around his sister and my roommate.

I wasn't satisfied by that answer about the music, and he knew it. But there was no time to discuss it any further then.

"Hey, where'd you guys go?" Alice spotted us and ran forward. Her hair was all sweaty and pushed from her face. "I was just about to text you."

"Just got some air. It was so stuffy in here." That sounded realistic right? And not entirely a lie anyway. Well, we'd gotten some air. And a little tongue...

"Oh, okay." Alice paused and tried to read my face, I think. But I wasn't giving anything away just yet. "Well, come stand with us. We're not going to stay here too much longer, I don't think. Jazz said some of the guys from your department were down at Manhattan. He wants to go say hi, you should come." I nodded and allowed Alice to take my arm and guide me toward the spot she and Jasper had secured next to the stage.

Just then, I saw Edward reach for his jeans pocket. I could hear a faint buzzing noise. He brought his Blackberry out and squinted at the screen. I could have been wrong—the lights were playing tricks—but I think I saw him look a bit startled.

"I'll be right back, ladies...I've...I'm gonna get this." He smiled at Alice and, in a very clandestine motion, grazed one finger against my ass, before heading back toward the exit. I blushed into a mushy mess, of course, but continued to follow Alice toward Jasper, a bit curious about his phone call.

I shook it off though. The truth was...Edward and I did not know each other well yet at all. I had no right to even speculate about such matters.

"Having fun?" Alice's gentle prodding brought me back down to earth.

I felt a smile spring back to my face. "Yep." The memory of Edward's mouth all hot and wet on mine was enough to make me smile all night...hell, all year. I could still taste him on my lips. Focus Bella.

"How much?" She raised an eyebrow. Jasper looked to us, confused, but he was too engrossed in the music to give a damn about what we were discussing. "Wait, wait...you know, I don't want to know anything. I don't." But she was smiling as she spoke.

"Everything is transparent to you, isn't it?" I felt odd that we were practically shouting such personal exclamations in a crowd, but I knew no one would be able to hear us.

"Pretty much!" She threw her head back in amusement and seemed to be pondering a few things in her head. "Bella, even if Edward weren't my brother, I would still say he's the most wonderful person I've ever known. I know he can seem a little off sometimes, a little mysterious...but he's not. I mean..." She seemed to hesitate for a split second before going on. "He has seemed a little distant lately, a little unhappy. Honestly, I think this trip is what he needed. And maybe..."\

She looked at me in a question. I knew what was she was asking silently. Did I think maybe I could help Edward, and he could help me? Maybe we were a perfectly suited pair somehow? I wanted to think so, Lord, especially after this evening. It all seemed to be working like clockwork so far...our connection falling into place like some mystical puzzle I'd never even known existed. But Bella the Cynic wouldn't stop thinking that the sound of a second shoe dropping wasn't too far off in the distance. And then of course there was the whole med school issue...

Stop. Stop. Stop. Had to be my mantra. A gorgeous, brilliant, if slightly tortured (but gloriously so!) man just grabbed on to me and kissed me like crazy, and here I was writing it into a narrative in my head.

This is what is wrong with Bella Swan.

"Alice..." I honestly don't know what I started to say, I can't remember, but she held up her hand and laughed.

"Bella, I'm going to make this really easy. How about...how about Jasper and I crash at my place tonight? It makes sense—Jasper drove anyway. It'll look natural, whatever." She couldn't hold in her giggles at the end though, and the blush radiating from my cheeks must have been so telling.

"Alice...I..."

"Sorry, ladies...oh." Edward approached behind us, but I think he could tell that he interrupted something. "Sorry."

"Oh, no...I was just telling Bella that Jasper and I are about to head out." Alice was quite the little actress, I had to admit. Her face had transformed in a matter of seconds; speaking to Edward, she sounded calm and, yes, natural. I angled toward her to mouth a silent, secret "thank you."

Edward caught my eye, and I think I saw some laughter in his expression, I'm not sure.

"Oh...well, Bella and I had talked about staying here for a bit...right...Bella?" He looked down at me, his face straight, his voice almost emotionless. What was it with these Cullens? They shared all the same talents.

"Oh, yeah. There was a band later that I wanted to see." I smiled and swallowed hard.

What door had Bella just opened, huh?

It was almost too easy, in fact. Jazz and Alice whisked themselves away for the remainder of their evening. Alice made a shockingly subtle allusion to the plan that she and Jasper would crash at her place tonight. I guess Alice and I were the only ones who realized the breadth of the proclamation, because the guys seemed quite unassuming. I think Jasper was confused but alarmingly non-suspicious. And Edward...he just looked happy, content that he'd managed to sidestep the issue of dealing with his sister tonight. If he only knew.

I stood next to Edward in the crowd, music blaring, sweat beads forming on my neck, feeling two things:

One—unbelievably turned on. I wanted to devour this man. I'd never felt like that before.

Two—strange. And wondering how much Alice and Jasper assumed about all of this. Wondering if that mattered. Wondering if I should press the pause button on any of this.

"Bella, do you want another drink?" Edward raised his arm to crawl loosely over my shoulder, and it felt just heavenly. That strange feeling? Dissipating.

"I have wine at the house." I leaned into his embrace and looked upward at him. The look in his eyes in that instant, it gave me chills. I could see the desire, feel it pulsing out. It was the same desire that was currently coursing through my veins, after all.

"Sounds good, you lead the way." He pulled me closer as we walked. A giddy, juvenile little part of me felt proud to walk through the crowd with him. To have such a beautiful man's right arm slung so snugly across my shoulders, laying claim to me, wanting me.

Of course I ruined the out-of-a-movie romantic-frantic moment by tripping all over myself as we jumped a curve headed to my car. Edward laughed the hardest I had yet to see him do so, crumpled over with his hands resting on his stomach, his hair flying everywhere. I regained my composure and shot him a faux-angry look, but I know my eyes betrayed me. I let out an exasperated laugh and reached again for his hand.

"Sorry...you know you're right. You, Bella Swan, are a walking liability." He pulled me close to him. "Gives me an excuse to hold you." Perfect smile, perfect teeth blaring down at me. And he expected me to stop falling in his presence?

"Well, as long as it does that." I rolled my eyes and picked up my pace, pulling away from him a little again until he trailed behind me only by our joined hands. "But trust me, I can handle myself." I looked back, and he had heard the humor and the challenge in my voice. He smiled and began a slight jog to keep up with me. The night air whipped around us, and I almost felt dizzy with the expectation so heavy around us.

"You drive a truck, Bella?" Right. He hadn't seen my car yet.

I blinked and enjoyed the shocked look playing upon his face. "Yep." I opened the doors for us and begin to crawl in the driver side of my red Chevy pickup truck. "I used to drive a classic Chevy, really old one, all rusted. It was beautiful. My dad gave it to me in high school. It didn't quite make it here though. It was a goner. So I just got another newer one. I couldn't imagine driving anything else." I shrugged and motioned for Edward to get in the passenger side. He looked more than amused.

"I see. Yeah, I guess you do need to drive a tank-like vehicle to protect yourself." He buckled himself in for emphasis.

He fucking flabbergasted me. Everything he did was simultaneously annoying and adorable.

"You can walk if you like." I started the engine and shot him a teasing smile before pulling out of the parking lot.

I'm going to cut to the chase a little. We didn't say much on the drive back to my house. The tension in that car was...well, you really could have cut it with a knife. Or a forklift, or a chainsaw. My heart beat so loud in my chest that I'm sure he could hear it the whole way. I stole a few glances at him when we stopped at traffic lights, but he was in unreadable-mode. Looking straight ahead, his hands rolling nervously against his legs. Was he having second thoughts about all of this? That's the only thought I could fit in my head. It wasn't until we made it unto to Hill Street, just seconds from my driveway, when he offered me the gesture I guess I'd been waiting for.

He reached over, and God help me, he placed his left hand against my right thigh, searching until he found the skin under my dress. My thighs were sweaty, heated, he must have noticed; his hand seemed to press in more deeply until I let out a little gasp.

"Is this okay?" He didn't move his hand, but he paused its ministrations. Our eyes met as I stopped in our driveway, gingerly reaching to turn off the engine. The night felt silent around us, and our heavy breathing was the only sound my brain was aware of. "I don't normally...this IS kind of fast, Bella. I don't want to push you into anything."

I swallowed hard and move my right hand to lay atop his, still resting on my thigh. Glorious.

"Just come inside." I whispered it, shooting his a look that I hope communicated everything he needed to know. That I wouldn't regret this. That he shouldn't either. That we were letting the night take us where it may. That I'd never allowed myself to be spontaneous like this because I'd always been too afraid, but he'd broken me of that.

I think we were both a little nervous as I unlocked the front door, fumbling mercilessly with the damn key. I could feel his hot breath at my ear, his hands just grazing the sides of my body.

We left the lights off as we stumbled inside. Our bodies pressed against each other, but we weren't really touching each other yet.

"Wine?" I offered softly.

"No." He whispered it against my cheek. And then his arms came around my waist, urgent, warm.

I don't know how we coordinated such a move, but somehow I jumped up ONTO him, my legs wrapped shamelessly around his waist, his palms cupping my ass. "Pretty smooth move, Swan." He chuckled and pulled me harder against him, his mouth moving quickly to work at my neck. I leaned to the side to allow him ample access. I was already moaning against him, my senses on overload. It had been so long since I'd been held by someone this warm, this gentle. Maybe I never had before, come to think of it.

His mouth moved down my throat in fiery strokes. Edward's tongue darted out against the flesh there, making my belly turn over and burst. On pure instinct, I headed for his left ear, covering it with my mouth in an open kiss. I licked it once, and then grazed him with my teeth, testing, exploring.

He grunted against my throat. Oh, he liked that.

One of his hands made easy work of the zipper on my dress, and suddenly I felt the cool air on my back. This dress had allowed no room for a bra at all, so at this point I was simply a few inches' slipping from being completely exposed. His hand moved inside the dress, pulling it away from my body even further, soothing my back, his warm hands running the length of it.

I grasped in blissful desperation to reciprocate, using my current position to my advantage by taking hold of his shoulders and sliding the blue shirt from him. He set me down so that he could pull the shirt from his arms, and as soon as he had that one off, I grabbed for the hem of his t-shirt. He shot me a wicked grin, lifting his arms upward like a child for me to slip the t-shirt from his body. I blushed a little but finished my task, a little embarrassed, and clung close to his chest once it was bare.

"Bedroom? Bella..." His voice was a roar, as he rearranged my body against his, pulling tighter.

"Yes." I mumbled it in his ear, feeling lightheaded.

In one swift motion, he managed to step out his shoes AND re-pick me up to walk us toward my room. His grace astounded me. I felt his hands slide the heels off of my own feet. I giggled and rubbed the smooth balls of my feet together, relishing the excitement vibrating in my chest and then down, down...

I leaned back and looked at him as he began to drop me backwards on my bed. He looked absolutely lustful...his eyes a dark luster. Black...his eyes look black. I'd never seen anything sexier. The only light in the room was a tiny lamp on top of my dresser and a few thin strips of street-lamp drifting in through the blinds. Just enough light to see his face, and the full outline of him. His chest was long and lean...all sinews and light patterns of bronze hair, and just a touch of softness in his stomach. Edward's form was only faintly muscular, but it was infinitely strong.

Edward smiled and that put me back at ease. I stretched out like a cat, waiting breathless as he hovered above me. He then moved down slowly, never leaving my gaze as he moved his lips to mine. They met in a frenzy, and just like earlier that evening, I felt new Sex-machine Bella take over. I fisted my hands in his hair, hard, but he didn't seem to mind. Our tongues met once, twice, then a dozen times, twisting, devouring.

"Unnh, Bella..." He groaned against my lips, pulling back just a bit to slink my dress further down my body. I felt self-conscious for just a second, then took a deep breath, and lay painfully still as his eyes roved my now nearly naked form.

"You are so beautiful. Bella...almost too beautiful..." He spoke softly, looking directly in my eyes as he grazed his palms over my shoulders, then down to the swells of my breasts...barely missing my nipples, which by then were so taut that I almost cried out in the sheer pain of them. I moaned and arched my back, pleading silently with him. He laughed, and I knew he was teasing me and loving it.

"Edward Cullen." I closed my eyes. I wanted to call him out on his teasing, yes, but I also just wanted to say his name. I loved the way it sounded.

"Yes? No. Wait, wait." His voice was rough, and I re-opened my eyes to an image I pray I never, ever forget. Edward was kneeling before me; he'd scooted further down, almost off of my bed. His eyes were level with the apex of my thighs. I sucked in a deep breath as he moved to pull my dress completely off of my legs, throwing it carelessly into a dark shadow of my room. All that was left was the thin black lace of my panties, and he moved to pounce on them quickly, his eyes begging my permission.

"Please." Lord, I didn't even recognize my own voice. And for some reason that seemed funny. All of this could have easily put me in hysterics, I realized. I bit my lip, a silly smile threatening at the corners of my lips.

"What?" Edward was a multi-tasker. He was looking at me, speaking to me, but his hands were sliding the fabric down my hips. The lace was wet, because I was. I shivered as it slid down my legs and finally across the threshold of my feet. Edward leaned way back and planted a soft kiss on one of my toes before throwing the black lace into that same abyss of the floor.

And I was suddenly very, very aware of my nakedness. My breath hitched; his eyes were roaming now, not intimidating, though, incredibly tender.

"You know when I saw you through the blinds...Bella?" His voice gravelly, Edward rested on the balls of his feet, his head laying on my quilt just inches from my sex. Holy fuck, I was quivering.

"Yes." I could barely speak. And I felt so out of control of all of my senses with him so far away. I sat up quickly, and Edward groaned, pressing his hands on opposite ends of my thighs. My legs were slightly parted...I knew he could smell me, almost taste me. And looking down, seeing his mouth so close to exactly where I needed it to be...it was heaven and hell in the same moment.

"I saw us, this, then, in that moment...I saw you..." His hot breath, yes so close that I felt it reverberate against me.

"Oh my God." I closed my eyes, disbelieving what he'd just said. Was that possible? With him...maybe.

Edward reached forward and dipped two fingers into me before I even realized what he was doing. I gasped, oh what a wondrous gasp, and looked down as he pumped them in me several times. I was already spilling all over him, all over his fingers and dripping down my inner thighs. And these were only his fingers...Lord, help me...

He removed his fingers from me after a few seconds and brought them to his mouth, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Bella, you taste exactly like I thought you would." He licked his fingers dry, and I thought I might just lose consciousness. Breathe, Bella, Breathe.

"Come closer." I recovered, smiled, and motioned for him, desperate to feel his full warmth against me.

He seemed a little shaky as he stood. With one casual move, he popped the button on his jeans and slid them down his legs. Oh, how I had wanted to do that. I laughed and reached almost violently for the elastic of his boxer-briefs, pulling him toward me in the process. In an instant I knelt before him, eye to eye with Edward's arousal. I took a deep, I'll admit a slightly nervous breath, and pulled the elastic down, aware that Edward let out a few pants as I did so. I didn't bear look up at him yet, though. What stood at attention in front of my gaze was just...perfect like I knew it would be. He was already rock hard...so sturdy. I used one hand to graze his cock lightly and the other to force the briefs to the floor. He stepped out of them, and leaned into my hand, wanting more pressure from me.

Somehow we landed back on the bed. Edward's glorious body hovered about a foot above mine, warm, a little sweaty; his smell was intoxicating.

"I'm going to start here." He smiled and whispered before moving his lips to my belly, his hands on either side of my body taut as they held him up. He blew lightly on my stomach, then began to nip at my skin, alternating with his tongue and teeth. I absolutely writhed underneath him, pulling at my own hair.

"I think I found a spot." He chuckled and looked up, making eye contact as he swirled his tongue once more in my belly button. Sweet Jesus. "You taste like strawberries."

Thank you, cheap Target-brand strawberry-scented body-wash.

I started moaning then, and I don't think that I ever really stopped for the rest of the evening. My moans were guttural, completely incontrollable, like I'd never felt myself emit before.

"I want you closer." My voice was raspy as I spoke. I certainly didn't have to ask him twice; within a second's time, his body was pressed closer to mine, pushing, wet skin to wet skin. His fingers found my sex again, this time thrusting rather hungrily between our bodies as our mouths met in a searing kiss.

"Do you like that, Bella? You like my fingers inside of you?" He mumbled it against my lips, but instead of answering right away all I could do was thrust up into his hand, once, twice, again and again.

"Please...yes..." I went back to work on his ear as his tongue found my neck again—his favorite spot to worship, I was quickly realizing.

I lost all track of time from that point forward. It seemed like seconds or hours, I don't know, during which the only sounds surrounding me were our matching moans and the soft clamping sound as his hand continued to move in and against me.

He eventually removed his fingers from me gingerly. I wanted to whimper, my legs numb, but before I could process another thought, I saw his head moving between my legs. His eyes met mine as he moved his tongue directly unto me. My breath caught in my throat at the sight—Edward's bronze hair all fiery and sweaty between my thighs—and my body arched upward at the sensation. His tongue was warm, firm, lapping at my folds, taking in all of me up like it was his sole purpose in life. The slight stumble on his cheeks met my tender skin a few times, tickling me in the most delightful way I could ever imagine.

Oh, please never stop.

I came all over him, twice, before he slowed a bit, taking deeper breaths as he kissed the inside of my thighs light as a feather. I moaned his name, and I saw the muscles in his neck pulse. I think he liked that.

"I have to be inside you, Bella." And that was it. He flew up toward me again, his mouth hot on mine in an instant. I could taste myself on his lips, salt mixing with sweet, and in some twisted way that turned me on more than anything. I moved my hands between us, reaching urgently for his cock. I stroked it frantically, knowing he needed the pressure.

"I want you inside me Edward, please." I pleaded against his lips. His tongue darted out to lick my lower lip once, twice, and then he paused, breathless. I think we had the same thought in the same instant. His eyes moved to mine in a silent, but important, question. "I'm on the pill...I...I have condoms too..." I flushed red, suddenly embarrassed. Not embarrassed by him licking me up one way and down the other, but embarrassed by condom talk? I was crazy.

"Do you want to use one? That's fine. Just let me know...quickly" He smiled a little and I saw such sincerity in his eyes. Edward was a careful, thoughtful person even the most lustful moment...

"No...I...I want to feel you." I did. I had to.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he grinned down at me, a few locks of his hair fallen across his eyes. He nodded and didn't question me, moving a hand to grip my right hip, pulling it outward a little. We were both writhing, as he settled in between my legs. I could feel the tip of him at my entrance, teasing, and I arched upward.

"Bellaaaaa...baby, give me a second." Edward closed his eyes tightly, and his arms were shaking a little bit. I relaxed a bit and kissed his shoulders gently, waiting; I was, literally, almost stinging in anticipation.

Edward entered me in a mercilessly slow thrust. I clutched him tight, smiling against his sweaty skin.

He pulled out and plunged in again, twice, before I arched to meet him and we found a wonderful rhythm.

It was just a moment later, in the throes of this, in the thick of this (i.e. the most insane pleasure I have ever experienced in my life), when he pulled up to look at me. Still inside me, still moving in me, his eyes met mine.

And I knew, and I think he did as well, in that second, that instant. This was something. It had be.


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's your fluff chapter. I had to give you at least one, right?**

**The road for Eddie and Bells is lined with roses and thorns (and lemons). But this chapter is about them getting to know one another a little better and reveling in their chemistry. The plot will thicken after this. Some of you picked up on the importance of the phone call Edward received in Chapter 4...yeah, yeah, it's something. I'm not telling you yet, though. But I do welcome guesses.....in fact, please ;)**

Chapter 5: Would Thoreau picnic on a patio

For the second morning in a row, I woke up disoriented. My face smashed against a pillow...it felt so soft, but my mind wouldn't focus on that. Something was different...

I stretched and felt something brush my foot, and it all came flooding back in a spasm.

Oh.

Oh.

My heart pounded as the other foot crept against mine, warm, languid. I closed my eyes and breathed in, smelling him before I could dare look at him sleeping next to me. My bed smelled a dozen ways it usually doesn't. It smelled of sandalwood and sex, mostly, the sheet hot against me in the morning sun. I felt his warmth just a few inches from my body but heard nothing just yet.

Edward Cullen was stirring and foot-nudging and laying naked in my bed. All the things we'd shared last night...all the moans and the sweat and the whispers of endearment in the throes of passion. All of that and now I was scared to look at him.

Maybe because I thought he would disappear.

Laying here in the early light of morning, snuggled against a pillow, my mind and my heart were still safe.

I heard a groan, and his leg rubbed against mine, the hair there tickling the smoothness of my shin.

I smiled a little, to myself, swallowing hard before I flipped over and got my first glimpse.

He was glorious, even in the morning. Especially in the morning, I decided very suddenly. Edward's eyes were still closed, although his face looked suspended in a half-sigh. He was waking up. His hair was sex personified...matted and splayed in five different directions, the bronze looking even a tad red in the flutters of sun coming in from one of my windows. There was a tiny bit of stubble arrayed on his chin and his cheeks. He looked younger like this, almost boyish. My fingers itched to touch him there at his chin, then to caress his eyelids, to wipe away the sleep.

I blushed as my gaze traveled downward, eyes wide as I took in the image of his body tangled in the green sheet. His legs stuck out, bent, the lines of bronze hair on his thighs beautiful and teasing. The sheet, in fact, covered only the most intimate part of him; his limbs, his torso, his chest on display for my roving eyes.

"Well, good morning..."

Light blush to deep crimson red in less than three seconds. A new record perhaps? I bit my lip and ducked my head, pausing before I met his eyes. Deep pools of green. I briefly remembered the way they bore into mine as he came inside me just hours before, as he lost control. That memory did nothing to help my blush.

"Hey." I met his gaze and brushed my hair from my face. "Good morning."

"Bella, your blush is so endearing." He laughed and yawned, stretching like a cat before raising himself up on his elbows. I felt so very exposed by him, so raw; it was simultaneously frustrating and invigorating. Was he being funny? Coy? Patronizing?

I narrowed my eyes and fought a smile. "Endearing?"

"Endearingly beautiful." He qualified himself, chuckling. God, he was gorgeous, his head thrown back. "I'm here to report that I like it. Makes you a bit easier to read that I originally thought, as well." Well, that was the truth, wasn't it.

"It's a lifelong curse." I shrugged my shoulders and smiled, clutching the edge of the sheet against my chest.

I guess I thought waking up with him would be scary. But just like every minute we'd shared together thus far, it didn't seem that way at all. It felt natural and so easy. He might have had the same realization, because in one sweeping moment, he pulled me to him, tugging the sheet from my chest in the process. My skin met his again, hot, soft, and I sighed against his chest.

"Is it bad that I've decided it's my goal to make you blush as much as I can?"

I smiled against the scent of his skin, nestled in the nook of his left arm, and thought that that probably sounded like the single best sentence that I'd ever heard spoken in the English language.

"No...I'm okay with that. You're doing well so far, by the way." I laughed lightly and stretched an arm across his body, feeling a bit constricted by the sheet wrapped around us but unsure as how to go about removing it.

"Wait...move for just a second." Edward nudged my nose with his; this made my belly spark and flare. I was confused by his request for only a few seconds before I realized what he was doing. As in, beating me to the punch. He grinned crookedly and pushed me away gently, tugging at the sheet like it was a candy wrapper in his way. One swift, strong tug and we were free from it, his legs fluttering as he kicked it to the floor.

Naked as day, I very nearly lost my heartbeat as I gazed down upon our bodies lined against one another. I could see all the creases the sheet had made, could see where my inner thighs were reddened and splotchy from the stubble on his chin. I could see for the first time, now in daylight, that Edward had a tiny crescent shaped birthmark on his right hip. Not far from his lusciously-formed pelvic bone. Not far from where his throbbing erection stood at perfect attention.

Oh, have mercy on my poor little soul.

"I've been throwing a lot of things on your floor, Bella, I'm sorry." He cocked his head and laid back down, bringing me with him. "I'll help you clean up. I'm awfully good at laundry." He was cute, and he fucking knew it.

He was also good at quite a few other things...

"I'm not the least bit concerned about what's on my floor at this very moment." I grinned and reached a forefinger to his cheek. "But thanks."

"You're welcome." He paused, and the smile left his face for a moment. "How do you feel by the way?"

He looked at me expectantly. I chewed on my lower lip, a little concerned. What did he want me to say? I guess Edward would never want anything from me but the truth. I'd never give him anything but that, I realized. He was a wonderful influence on clearing the normally hazy clouds in my head.

"Really comfortable." I whispered the words and then moved my eyes to his chest, scared to see his reaction. "But a little scared."

"The first part is good to hear." I felt his mouth move to ghost across the top of my head. He seemed to hesitate only a second before whispering a kiss there. "The second part I guess I need you to qualify." He teased my forehead with another quick kiss and then positioned himself to look directly into my eyes, scrunching his body further down on his pillow so that we were level.

I briefly considered just reaching the few inches toward his cock, taking hold of it (it obviously needed some attention), and making him forget his inquiry.

I probably wouldn't get away with it. At least not for long.

I sighed and settled instead on tracing my hand over his thigh and knee, thinking of the right way to express my thoughts.

"I just...you know, it's my own insecurity really. A part of me feels like this is just too good to be true at all. That you'll disappear as quickly as you appeared." There. I felt instantly mortified, burying my head once again in his left arm.

What if he thought I was taking all of this too seriously? What if this WAS just a fling for him. My mind raced as he remained painfully silent. I felt a tad better when I felt his hand begin to caress my back softly. God, that felt so good.

"Bella. Look at me please." He sounded a little concerned. I did as he asked. "Bella, I understand your fear. That's what I was getting at last night...it's all so fast. I was worried about how you'd perceive this, perceive of me. But forget that fear right now if you can. I am NOT going to disappear. I'm just not. I couldn't. You'd have to file a restraining order at this point to get me to." One corner of his mouth began to form that crooked little grin.

My heart was playing a tug of war with itself inside my chest--pulled back and forth, on one side Edward's words and mouth and scent and his everything and then on the other that fearful voice (me) that refused to believe someone like him could really be interested. In me. In crazy little Bella Swan.

"I don't imagine I'll be doing that anytime soon, the restraining order I mean, so don't worry." I managed a laugh and then righted my eyes to him. "Thank you for saying that...I...I'm just not good at any of this. I never have been."

"Me neither, trust me." He interrupted me and smiled, bringing his hand to my cheek where he pressed it in softly. "That's why this feels amazing. It's never felt this right. Actually, Bella, for me it's never felt anything close to this."

Oh my God.

Kill me now, ring the bells—I could have died in that moment happily, I'm pretty sure.

"Yes." That's all I could muster. One word, agreeing with his statement. And a nod. And then I attacked his lips.

He laughed as our mouths met. I decided that really was my favorite sound in the whole world now. Edward's gentle chuckle.

We kissed tenderly for a long time, the morning sun growing brighter across us on the bed. There was no urgency like the night before. The day had broken, and we'd both communicated that we'd woken up just where we wanted to be. And now we could take the time to be tender. I liked that feeling so very much.

Our mouths made a tiny symphony, working in tandem, and eventually I slowly approached his erection with my hand, brushing it gently in slower intervals.

Edward took my bottom lip in his teeth and groaned, pushing himself further into my hand.

"Oh, Bella." A whisper, and I was all undone. I loved the way he said my name. He made it sound like liquid sex.

I smiled through our teasing kiss and grabbed him a little harder, a little playful.

"You tell me what you want. Anything." I spoke it into his mouth, barely breaking my mouth from his. Where had that fucking come from?

Who cares where it came from? He loved those words from me, I think; he moaned immediately, gripping me harder, almost erratically.

"Really, now?" He breathed it, all guttural and honeyed. I nodded, and he looked at me in lustful disbelief.

"Edward, really." I laughed, stroking him as I spoke. "You made me come no fewer than six times last night. I don't know, I lost count. Anyway, let me reciprocate."

He smiled through hooded eyelids and grabbed at my hair a little roughly. I was of course blushing furiously, content in the newfound revelation that he liked to see me turn all red. And I'm fairly certain that in that moment, as I very brazenly admitted how much pleasure he'd offered me, Edward's cheeks were a bit pink and proud. His eyes were glassy; he looked humored and humbled and deliciously disheveled.

"Ever had to count that high before?" He grinned and reached to find my center, groaning when he realized how drenched I was already.

I think he knew exactly what he did to me. He winked, and I moaned as two of his fingers moved inside me.

No, I'd never counted that high before. Of course fucking not. The bottom half of my body felt like jelly as a result.

"No way." I looked him in the eye as I spoke it, smiling.

"When I saw you walk into the club last night. Well..." Edward began to speak, almost breathless as we both continued our ministrations. We were just pulsing against one another. "I didn't want to listen to that music, or do anything else. All I wanted to do was make you come."

I very nearly growled into his mouth as I leaned forward; his comment made me have a spasm against his hand. He laughed, pulling away to pepper my neck with tiny playful bites.

"You drive me crazy." I giggled and bucked against him. My body was losing its patience again. "Edward, I was serious. Tell me what you fucking want right now."

Another laugh like golden bells and he very swiftly righted himself, positioning himself against a pillow, his elbows propped again. He was almost laying on his back now, and my body mourned his closeness immediately. I knew where this was going though. Well...I knew where I was going.

I began my descent before him, straddling his knees as I scooted lower. His hand caressed my hair as our eyes met. He winked.

He winked.

"Are you sure? You really don't have to..." He smiled so tenderly.

I shushed him.

I kept my gaze locked with his as I shifted even further. I shook my head and smiled playfully. My head was almost level with his cock now, and I worked my right hand over the tip. Still looking at him when I spoke.

"Oh no, I want to."

And Lord did I.

He about lost it then, eyes rolling back in his head. His hips bucked seemingly involuntarily in anticipation, and without another second's hesitation, I brushed my lips over his tip, teasing briefly, just tasting, before I took him in my mouth.

We stayed in bed until two o'clock in the afternoon, hesitant even then but sure that we'd hear from Jasper and Alice any moment. Well, either that or they'd just waltz right into the apartment and discover not only that the couch had never been turned down for the night but also that neither Edward nor I had yet emerged from by bedroom.

We made love a few more times, really slowly, and then once furiously quick. It was as if we could already tell what the other person needed every time. Rotating between gentle and rough.

We also talked quietly to one another. I realized in that light of day not just that I adored Edward but also that I needed to know more about him. And I hoped that he wanted to know more about me, although there wasn't much to tell.

We touched each other's faces and mouths as we spoke, nuzzled close.

He told me about the vague memory he had of Carlisle and Esme bringing Alice home from the hospital, this wide-eyed, raven-haired baby wrapped in a green blanket. He was almost four at the time. He said he remembered feeling nervous, nervous that his parents would love her more, that he wasn't going to be the baby anymore. And then another memory of the day he headed to first grade and a frantic toddler Alice gave him a hug as he walked out of the door. Honestly, it sounded like he and Alice had a childhood right out of a storybook. I'm surprised he didn't tell me their house was made of gingerbread and candy canes. I knew things were never perfect for Edward though; and he told me a little more about his struggle as an adopted child, grappling with the separate identity and the legacy of the Masens he'd been forced to leave behind as an infant.

Edward asked me more about my parents. I told him about my childhood in Phoenix with Renee and the ways that my relationship with Charlie had evolved over the years as we got closer. I explained how I'd discovered my love of literature and writing when I was in high school—that I'd be a bit of a loner, but happily and willingly so.

We barely touched on past relationships. I think we were both purposefully avoiding the subject. I briefly mentioned Mike in regards to my earlier time in Athens, and Edward looked a little uncomfortable, even pained, when I spoke of Mike's many inconsistencies. Edward said he couldn't understand why anyone would treat me that way, and that touched me. I quickly dropped the topic though, not ready to go down the road of his past or mine. I don't believe in regrets, but I also hate recounting the past.

"Coffee time? I have a withdrawal headache." I rolled over and lifted myself from the bed, reaching for the soft jersey robe I kept hanging on my closet door.

Edward shot me a bit of a pout, looking adorable of course, before he jumped from the bed and reached for his clothes.

"Sounds good. We could go somewhere. I'm starving." He threw on his jeans and t-shirt from the night before; they were horribly wrinkled. I looked at him and laughed softly. He arched an eyebrow and ran this hands through his hair in response. "This is the best I can do."

"And it's perfect." I grinned and ducked my head in a blush, busying myself with straightening my hair a bit and adjusting the tie on my robe. It felt weird to be dressed around him now. Ha.

"I'm counting. That's at least the fifteenth blush this morning." He walked toward me, placing his hands on my hips loosely. He planted a quick kiss on my cheek and then looked at me expectantly. "So, breakfast...or lunch I guess?"

"Should we call them though?"

He looked conflicted. We both knew that we were going to have to face Alice and Jasper sometime today. We couldn't stay suspended in this bubble long.

"Yeah, I guess...yeah." He smiled wistfully and reached for his Blackberry, which had miraculously managed to stay put in his jeans pocket.

I peaked out the window as he made the call, making sure they weren't actually already here. I let out a sigh of relief when I didn't see either of their cars. I crossed my room and opened the door, headed to the kitchen to put a pot of coffee on. If I didn't have some right now, Edward was going to be introduced to Coffee Withdrawal Bella. And she wasn't very nice.

"Hey...sis." I heard Edward talking from my room, and I shivered a little. I was more than worried about how all of this would play out. Mostly because I knew the teasing would be merciless.

I blocked his voice out and made the coffee. By the time I sat down at the table with a mug, Edward was saying goodbye and making his way to join me in our little dining nook.

"What's the verdict?" I raised my eyebrows at him and took a careful sip of hot coffee.

"Forecast? We've got it coming from Alice." He chuckled and pulled out a seat for himself. His eyes looked playful and bright. "She's half-freaked out, half intrusively excited. And I didn't even have to say anything...it's like..."

"She already knew." I nodded, interrupting him. He looked adorably bewildered. I coughed and realized how weird that sounded. "I mean...you know Alice. She embarrassed me to no end and intimated to me that she'd foreseen this. She offered to keep Jazz away last night."

"Figured." Edward sighed and smiled. "I knew it couldn't be that easy. Good thing my sister and I are insanely close. Otherwise, I'd be blushing as much as you do."

"Very funny." I narrowed my eyes at him, teasing. "So what are they up to?"

"They've been up for hours. They just had lunch. Alice is pulling Jasper around to some antique stores at this very moment. They want to meet up for dinner. And then Alice wants us to have some brother sister time tonight I think."

I sipped my coffee and simply nodded, trying to hide my disappointment at that last part. It had been easy to forget that Edward came here to visit his sister. Of course they needed some time together. But that meant I wouldn't have him with me tonight.

And honestly, what right did I have to expect that I would?

Edward went to wash up in the bathroom while I threw some clothes on. Ten minutes later, I stood in front of my bedroom mirror in a pair of dark-wash skinny jeans and a gray tank top, trying to decide if I looked presentable. At this point, I doubt Edward cared what I wore. I sighed and resigned myself to the outfit, pulling my hair into a tight ponytail. That's the only way it would look presentable in its current state. Really, I probably should have showered. But I didn't want to wash his scent from me just yet; and it was a Sunday morning, so I could be lazy, right?

I ran into the bathroom after him and brushed my teeth before applying a little bit of lotion and a touch of makeup. When I was done, he was waiting patiently on our couch, breezing through a magazine.

He looked up when I entered, his mouth a little agape.

"You look amazing."

This man would, he would be the death of me.

"Thanks. Fifteen blushes not enough for you?" I cocked my gaze at him and laughed, motioning for him to join me to go.

A few minutes later we were driving with my truck's windows down, a soft May breeze filtering through our hair and over our faces. This felt nice.

I suggested this little brunch place close to downtown—they had fresh bread and pastries and great lattes. Edward liked the sound of it, so we parked in a tiny lot near town and ambled down Meigs Street, our hands joined. Honestly, it felt a little strange. It had been years since I'd held hands with someone like this, just enjoying one another's company. My relationship history was fitful at best, full of starts and stops and awkward rejections. I had rarely made it to the point in a relationship within which hand-holding and Sunday brunching became the norm. And here I was with Edward right out of the gate.

The fear was back—too much too soon—briefly, but I swallowed it and chose instead to look at the beautiful man walking beside me. He was humming something....

Oh.

"I almost want to go find that apartment and thank whoever lives there." I smiled at the memory of DeBussy in the moonlight.

"Thank them? I want to buy them a car." Edward laughed and squeezed my hand.

An idea struck me as we waited in line to order our food. Edward was busy taking in the pastry case, his mouth watering from his hunger as he surveyed his options.

I grabbed a paper menu from the counter.

"We should just order a picnic basket." I looked to Edward and pointed to the menu.

"What? They do that?" He read the menu and nodded, smiling. "Except we may need two. Bella, you haven't had to witness how much food I can consume when I'm famished." Wink. "It's not pretty, I apologize in advance."

"Oh, Alice warned me." I laughed and stepped up to the counter, placing our order for a picnic set-up that was probably intended to feed six, and then two lattes. Whatever. All I cared about was sitting somewhere with Edward and watching him eat. I didn't care what he claimed. I'd seen him eat. It was a near-erotic experience for me, to be quite honest.

Edward of course jumped ahead of me almost violently with his wallet, refusing to let me pay for a cent of our meal. I protested briefly, and I really meant it (I might be shy sometimes, but I'm proud of my independence for sure), but I quickly realized it was a losing battle. Edward sighed happily when I returned my own wallet to my purse in resignation; he leaned forward and planted an unexpected kiss on my right temple. My face burned hot, and I loved it. He looked amused as per usual.

"Thank you." I nodded toward the bill he was paying.

"You are more welcome than you could imagine." He bit his lip and thought for a moment. "Where are we going to picnic, by the way?"

What? I hadn't thought that far ahead.

"I thought we'd just sit out on their patio up this way?" I motioned outside the window.

"Bella, aren't you from nature I thought? Would Thoreau have eaten on a patio?" Edward cocked his head and furrowed his brow. He was getting to know me so well already, it was very nearly scary.

"Probably not. Touche." I laughed and tapped a forefinger to my lips. Where to take him, where to take him. Somewhere I could ravish him in private after we ate?

Stop that, Bella.

My mind was in the gutter; he'd put it there.

"Is there a park close by?"

"Not one without a hundred three-year-olds running around while their pseudo-hippie parents read the Times." That's not cynicism. It was true. "But the Botanical Gardens are open on Sunday...and there are lots of quiet places." Why hadn't that occurred to me right away?

"Now you're talking." Edward's eyes lit up and he nodded. "Do you have a blanket?"

Thank you, Charlie Swan.

"My father is the police. He put two emergency kits under my seats." I laughed, thinking of my dad. I needed to call him. "I'm pretty sure I have a wool blanket for winter emergencies and a lighter one for warmer weather emergencies."

Edward seemed amused by that. He reached to take me loosely in his arms, conscious of the fact that we were in a semi-crowded cafe. He arms brushed my sides and he pressed his cheek briefly to mine as he spoke. "You, Bella Swan, are funny and wise."

Ha. Really?

Really?

"You, Edward Cullen, are much too flattering. No one's ever called me funny or wise before. Never on purpose anyway."

"Well then, they were missing out." He brushed his nose against my cheek and then jumped at attention as the counter announced our order. Edward toting a picnic basket was an image I never wanted to forget. He carried the food, and I grabbed the lattes.

We made quick work of getting back to the car. Edward reached inside the basket and started tearing pieces off of a blueberry muffin immediately. I laughed, and with a twinkle in his eyes he tore off a morsel and brought it to my mouth.

Edward Cullen made a buttery piece of blueberry muffin seem sensual. Or was it just me? I smiled and accepted the offering, all tingly when his fingers touched my lips as I chewed.

We parked in the botanical gardens lot, retrieved a thin blue blanket from one of my Charlie kits, and walked up the main path. We exchanged knowledge of a few of the trees (I do know a little about ecology after all) and flowering plants as we approached the Broad River. It was quiet. We'd passed a few families ambling about down by the entrance to the gardens. And one jogger passed us by. But other than that, we pretty much had the place to ourselves. The pines were a canopy over our heads, blocking out the mid-afternoon sun.

We settled on a little patch of ground right by a big rock and a good view of a bend of the narrow river.

Edward looked really adorable as he unpacked the basket; I don't think he even realized that I was watching him at all. He examined each item as he placed them on the spread-out blanket. A fruit salad that looked lush, a few more muffins, a little cup of strawberry jam, and then the french toast, which smelled divinely like cinnamon against the muggy air around us.

"So on a scale of one to ten, how much trouble do you think you're in with Jasper?" Edward smiled as he arranged some food on two paper plates.

"Hmmph." I took my plate from him and popped a piece of kiwi in my mouth. Yum. "Not trouble, per se, just...interrogation." Jasper cared so much about me, I knew that. "He's seen me through some bad times. He knows me really well. And he knows that this." I motioned between Edward and myself. "Is not something I would typically...well, do. He knows I've been hurt before and that I can be a bit guarded now." I swallowed hard and immediately questioned rather I'd chosen the right words.

"That makes sense." Edward looked thoughtful. "I think it's good if you have someone in your life that cares that much." He chewed for a few moments, running one hand through the messy sex hair. Oh Lord. "You don't think he'll be upset with you, though? That's what worries me."

"Oh, no." And I knew that to be true. "Jazz will care, and he can read me well enough to understand how I feel."

"And how is that?" Edward licked his lips to catch a rebel flake of toast, and I just nearly about jumped on top of him.

Focus.

"Happy. Excited. I said it, okay?" I blushed, of course, and then paid some attention to my food.

But suddenly, I had to know.

"How do you feel, Mr. Cullen?"

He didn't hesitate. He never does. And looked suddenly very serious as he spoke.

"Like I never want to leave this spot. Sitting on this blanket with you." He reached forward and brushed one stray lock of hair from my face. "I want to know everything about you, Bella. Anything you're willing."

I felt the same way about him. Which was, yes, scary.

"You know the fear I was talking about earlier?"

He nodded, looking a little nervous.

I continued, eager for him to understand where I was going with this. "It's because without knowing you very well I felt that I wanted to know everything. I was scared that you would think it was strange as well. When I saw you through my window the other day I just sort of...lost it. I felt crazy for feeling so drawn to you."

Bella had her words back.

"So that's settled." He smiled and looked proud. "We were on the same page. That's good to hear."

Yeah, well, turning the next page was going to be the tricky part, right? But I didn't say anything to that effect. We munched on our food in contented silence for a few moments, the warbling of a few stray birds the only sounds in my ears. I could smell Edward's scent on my wrist as I brought my hand to my face.

What he said next shocked me.

"Bella, do you want to come with us up to Columbia?" He said it plainly, openly, his eyes wide. Like he was asking me to go to the grocery store.

"What?" I cocked my head and looked at him quizzically.

"Alice and I are driving up to see our parents in a couple of days. She's got a break before she comes back for the summer term." Alice was graduating this August. She'd taken some time off a couple of years ago to travel, so she had ended up a semester behind schedule. "Alice is bringing Jasper along too. Jasper said you guys are done with the semester except for grading your kids' final papers. They'll go see his family as well I'm sure. I just thought we could make it a little trip ourselves."

He looked at me expectantly. I was floored, honestly. I had been content to hear him explain his feelings for me. And ecstatic to discover that this thing between us might be going somewhere. But actually making plans like this? This quick? My heart raced and I knew I'd have to go with my gut and be honest.

"Won't that be a little awkward, Edward. I mean...will your parents think it's weird?"

"Absolutely not." He laughed lightly, and I could tell that he was starting to sense my overall hesitancy. "My parents are amazing. Down to earth. And I know without a doubt that they would love you."

Another thought struck me then.

"Aren't you going to tell them about your decision about med school? Do you really want company along for that?"

He absorbed my question and looked down. Ouch. I guess I shouldn't have mentioned that topic?

But he surprised me once again with his response.

"Yes, actually." He looked me directly in the eyes, and my racing heart melted down a little again. "If you...if you came with me I think it would calm me. That sounds strange, I know. That's not the reason I want you to come. I want you to come because I want to be with you, spend more time with you."

I knew he was winning this battle.

"Will Alice mind?" I whispered it.

"Of course not. She's going to jump through a roof out of excitement, I'm sure." He smiled, and I scooted closer to him, forgetting my food. He saw what I was doing and immediately opened his arms for me. Several electric seconds later I was nestled between his legs, his strong arms encircling my waist.

"It's amazing to me how few words it takes between you and I to communicate." I bit my lip and looked up at him. He nodded. "I still think this might be a little crazy, but I don't...you're right, there's no way I can goodbye to you right now."

"Please never do." He interrupted me in a whisper.

That scared me. But in the most amazing way. Could this really be something that epic? I closed my eyes briefly against the emotion and then leaned into him, breathing deep. Practical Bella knew that throwing caution to the wind only lasted so long. Metaphorically-speaking, if this was a daydream—well, one of us might wake up soon. But right now I wanted to live nestled deep inside this perfect bubble he was crafting for us. Away from the world, away from responsibility.

And so I said it.

"I'm not going to." I couldn't imagine ever wanting to. That was the truth.

My lips found his blindly. He tasted soft, like butter and blueberries and earth. Our mouths joined in a languid kiss, his tongue lightly tracing my bottom lip. This was potentially heaven.

He broke away and pressed his forehead to mine. "Forget the Peace Corps. Bella, maybe we could run off to Walden together. No one would bother us. We could have a picnic every day."

He was cute. But deluded.

"Edward, he wasn't alone out there." I smiled and touched his shoulder, picking a tiny green leaf from his shirt. "He had neighbors. That was the great part about it. Thoreau realized that you have to have people around you to help you. He borrowed an ax from his neighbor to cut down a tree. He didn't own one."

"Thoreau borrowed an ax." Edward grinned and thought about my statement for a moment.

No one can live in a bubble. That's why this thing with Edward terrified me despite also making me feel like the luckiest woman alive.

"Bella, there's a caterpillar on our toast."

I laughed and looked to where he motioned. Sure enough, there were a tiny, furry green creature going to town with a piece of our French toast.

"That's what we get for talking Thoreau during a picnic," I paused to nudge his chin with mine, "because, you know, Thoreau always said that we should be one with everything." I whispered one dainty kiss on Edward's chin. "Even bugs. We must love bugs too."

"Whatever you say." Edward chuckled and pulled me closer. I don't think he cared too much about the caterpillar. In that moment he suddenly seemed much more concerned with my boobs. Which he grabbed in his palms, delicate at first, then rougher, smiling at me as I processed what he was doing.

My nipples became so taut against my clothes that they almost hurt. I leaned into him, grinning like an idiot. His fingers started literally dancing on them over my tank top, pulling, tugging, playing.

"Bella, do you want to go get frisky in the woods?" Edward moved his mouth to my neck, licking the spot just below my right ear. I could feel my blood throbbing under the contact.

There would never be any real reprieve, not from this point on, I realized. I wanted him like no one before, like nothing before. And if this thing fell apart...well, Bella Swan would be going down in fiery flames along with it.

"That's exactly why I brought you here, silly," I said very pointedly, reveling in the shining sound as Edward laughed in response.

Holy hell.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Would you call that Newton's Law?

[Song running like mad through my brain as I wrote this one: Neko Case, "Maybe Sparrow"]

So I'd gotten no work done in days.

My laptop looked sad and dejected on my desk.

I really couldn't care less. I guess I expected to feel the guilt building, but it just wouldn't like it normally did. Edward affected me that way, in these few days; so even if all of this was temporary, or if it was some cruel karmic tempting that I'd pay for later, at that moment I happily took advantage of the lightness both in my step and in my poor little brain. Speaking of my brain. It needed a break from the abyss of self-deprecation. I'd had writer's block for two months. If anything, meeting Edward and enjoying his company might help me write. Eventually.

Right then all I wanted to do was slide myself back into his arms as quickly as was humanly possible. We'd parted after our little romp at the botanical gardens (almost caught with tell-tale twigs in our hair, might I add, by the on-site chapel caretaker) so that we could shower and freshen up for dinner with Alice and Jasper. I hadn't seen either of them yet. I'd dropped Edward off at Alice's. By the time I got home, Jazz was holed up in his room, probably napping.

I had only managed to delay the inevitable. The burning blush of my cheeks, the teasing...it would last all night. And into forever. This whole set-up was putty in Alice's adorable little hands. She'd have the wedding invitations mailed by next Friday. And Edward and I would sit at attention, cursing her giddiness in our heads but forcing smiles unto our faces. Because ultimately, we were thankful for whatever magic she'd worked to bring us together, at least for the moment.

I smiled to myself as I took a survey of my room, remembering how certain items of clothing found their way unto the floor the night before. My bedroom smelled so much like him that I found myself breathing much deeper than normal on purpose.

I showered quickly and then stared into my closet. I didn't really care about what I was going to wear. It's just that my mind wouldn't focus on anything. Edward had me in some sort of perpetual daydream; I hadn't felt this way since I was 13 and read my first Jane Austen novel. The giddiness of satisfaction, is what it was. When I was 13, I just wanted to re-read Sense and Sensibility over and over again. Ha. With Edward, well, I just wanted to feel his warm body against mine. Over and over again.

I slipped into a black jersey dress for dinner; it was soft, sleeveless, and a little nipped at the waist. I was so tired that I couldn't imagine making much more of an effort. I chose a subtle shade of lipstick and left my hair to curl freely around my shoulders as I waited for Jasper in the living room. In theory I was skimming a book Jazz had left on the coffee table—something about pork and agribusiness—but in reality my eyes wouldn't string more than three words together. The pages might as well have been in Greek.

If Edward had this effect on me permanently, would I become some sort of invalid? Mute? Just plain crazy?

"Well, if it isn't Isabella Swan, seducer of future surgeons."

Fuckity fuck.

"Jasper, shut it." I grimaced and slammed the book closed, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees.

He was standing right in front of me. I hadn't even heard him come out of his room. Jazz had a little smirk on his face. He was dressed for dinner, his hair combed back with product. He looked at me quite expectantly. Oh, my Jasper.

"Bella, spill something. Alice has me believing you guys are eloping tonight." He smiled and walked back a few steps to sit in our armchair.

I managed a laugh and leaned back, stretching my arms above my head. My body ached a little. In the most wonderful ways. In all the best places. A blush at the thought.

"Jasper, I can assure you. That is not going to happen." I paused and looked him in the eye. He was my best friend. I had to be straight with him. "But, yeah, there's something. I...you know, it's like Alice was right all along. We just have this palpable connection."

Jasper looked like he was trying to process what I was saying, before he even opened his mouth to respond.

"Bella, that part's obvious." He leaned forward and looked a little serious. "Alice and I saw that the minute you guys were in the same room. Trust me. So I won't argue with that." Then he rolled his eyes playfully to lighten the mood just a tad. "What Alice is too excited to worry about, though, is the logistical nightmare of this. I mean, Bella, what's going to happen when he goes back to L.A.? I'm just worried about you, sugar."

Jasper only called me "sugar" when he was concerned for me.

I sighed and picked at a loose thread on my dress. He was right, of course. Even though no one else knew that Edward wouldn't be returning to med school, the part that mattered was his departure. I'm sure he would go back to California. He had an apartment, those two pianos, his band...a life.

Fuck.

"I'm going up to Columbia with you guys." I whispered it. That wasn't a solution. It was a short-term fix. A band-aid to cover a leak in Hoover Dam. But it was something.

"I figured." Jasper bit his lip and nodded to himself. "He seems like a great dude. I mean, obviously I want to love anyone related to Alice. But Edward's...he's really great." And I knew he meant all of it. Jazz didn't lie. He wasn't capable of it. He spoke smoothly, genuinely, and so honestly that he typically calmed everyone else around him down in a difficult situation. "And it seems like...from the bits and pieces I can decipher...that he's doing everything he can to spend as much time with you and get to know you. That says a lot, especially since you've only known each other a few days. But what no one else besides you is going to see is the other side of all this."

Ha.

"You'll see it too." I cleared my throat and tried to navigate the silence between us. "Jasper, I'm sorry it's always you helping me pick up my shitty little pieces. I don't...I don't think this time it'll be that way. Even if it doesn't work out, I think I'll be okay."

What a fucking lie. And I'd never lied to Jazz before.

"Bella Swan, shut up." He laughed, and his warm eyes twinkled. "That's not what I meant. I love you. I'm here for you, always. We pick up each other's pieces together around here. I just don't want to see you hurt. It hurts me."

I smiled. I stood up and crossed to where he was sitting, reaching to touch the top of his head.

"Thanks, Jasper. I promise I'll be careful with all of this, okay?"

His eyes met mine, and I saw them relax a little.

"You do what's right for Bella. If you need to talk, I'm here."

He stood, we shared a gentle hug, and then we were off for dinner with the siblings Cullen.

"So are you and Al going to visit the Hale compound this week, too?" I was riding shotgun in Jasper's SUV, wind blowing my hair all around.

"Yeah, that's the plan. Al met my parents when they came down here, but she's never met Rose."

Rosalie Hale. Jasper's older sister. Easiest way to describe her? Stunningly beautiful. Blonde, like her brother, with that same luminescent skin. She had legs for days and boobs for half a mile. Honestly I wanted to hate her when I first met her during a visit to their family's house outside Greenville the year before. You always want to hate someone that beautiful. But she made it difficult. Although at times a bit terse and sarcastic, Rosalie had a wonderfully candid sense of humor that was quite contagious. She was a lawyer now in Greenville, engaged to a high school football coach who I hadn't met yet.

"We should all meet up. I'd love to finally meet Emmett."

"Sure thing. You'll love him, I told you that. The guy's a fucking riot. Gee, I guess we could all have some sort of triple date somewhere."

Very funny, Jazz.

"Yeah, great. Announce it just like that." I rolled my eyes and stretched in my seat. Jazz only chuckled.

We pulled into the parking lot of Alice's brick apartment complex. Jasper rang Al's phone. While we were waiting, I briefly considered that my heart might flutter out of my chest. What was the big deal? I'd just seen Edward two hours earlier. Lord, he'd been inside me two hours ago. So why the hell was I nervous?

I suppose it was in knowing that this thing had somehow become real. For better or for worse, there really was no turning back now.

They emerged from Alice's staircase. She looked perfectly turned out, as per usual, in a chocolate-colored slip-dress. But my eyes flitted to Edward. He wasn't wearing jeans like usual. He had on a pair of summery linen-looking dress pants. They were a dark beige, and he'd paired them with a white button-down. God, he looked sexy. The first two buttons were undone, revealing traces of the reddish-bronze hair that lined his chest.

Jasper must have seen me zoning out, looking at Edward, because he laughed. I just ignored him.

"Bella, get in the back. I want to sit next to Jasper." Alice broke me back into the moment. She smiled at me through the window. And where was...oh, there was the knowing twinkle in her blue eyes. She winked, I felt my stomach turn, and then I did as I was told.

Edward had already maneuvered into the right-side passenger seat. I slid in next to him, almost scared to make eye contact. When I did...well, the nerves went away.

And were replaced with insane lust.

I met his gaze, and he grinned, nodding imperceptibly. He ran one hand through his hair and buckled his seatbelt. I did the same. While Alice and Jasper were greeting each other, chatting quietly, we turned to one another and simply stared for a moment.

I wonder if he felt what I did. Awe. Wonder. Deja vu. All of it. None of this made any sense.

He licked his lips once and reached to touch the sliver of the cloth seat between us. I took his cue and moved my hand there as well. Our fingers crept toward each other, slowly, innocently, until our forefingers touched. Just grazing. How could I possibly feel an electric pulse form this subtle of a touch?

Because it was Edward.

"Hey there." His voice was nothing above a whisper. I barely heard it, but there it was. His tone so simultaneously loving and rough, even raw. I just about melted in my seat.

"Hey." I replied, biting my lip.

I was suddenly aware of Alice attempting to gather our attention. She looked more than amused as she cleared her throat.

"So we were thinking The National." Leave it to Alice to pick one of the nicest places in Athens. "By the way, it's my treat tonight. We have so much to celebrate." She looked back to us as Jasper pulled back unto the road. I shot her a look like daggers, my face reddening.

"And what would that be, baby?" Jasper wasn't going to sit idly by. Thank you, Jasper.

"Well, Edward's visit of course. And our upcoming trip home. And Bella coming with us. And...how well we all get along. You know?" Alice giggled and turned back to the front. I caught Edward's eyes, and they were crinkled in a knowing smile.

Dinner would be interesting to say the least.

Yeah, I needed at least half a bottle of Merlot.

We settled ourselves into a round booth at the restaurant, which was Americana with a quirky fusion twist. The décor was meant to evoke the 1930s, was my guess, with patterned tin ceilings, white linen draped on black tables, and dim golden lights strung everywhere.

Edward scooted next to me, and when he did I felt his hand brush my hip. I think it was accidental. But it set the bottom half of my body on fire. I focused on Alice for a moment, who was perusing her menu with an eagle eye. Alice was obsessed with perfecting our palate whenever we all went out. She looked up at me and smiled warmly. She nodded. I don't know why. I think she was sending some sort of silent message. Whatever it was, it felt comforting.

"Wine, everyone?" Jasper was conversing with our waiter, negotiating which red might be best. We answered him in unison, in the affirmative of course.

Get some wine in this girl.

"Do you always drink red?" Edward turned to me, smiled, and raised his eyebrows.

I saw Jasper and Alice watching our little interaction from the corner of my eye. God, please don't let the whole night be this way. Edward and I weren't a television show.

"Usually. There's a perfect night for chilled chardonnay once in awhile, though." I smiled and forgot our audience for a moment, making eye contact with him.

"Agreed."

He sat his menu between us and then moved his left arm to the top of the booth behind us. It wasn't around my shoulders, but grazing them, very casually strung. I shifted a little and caught Jasper's eye. He shook his head lightly, but I think I saw a smile at the corners of his mouth.

I threw all caution to the wind and leaned back into Edward. He smelled like soft cologne tonight. Focus, Bella. I realized then that he wanted us to look at the menu together.

He pointed to something, maybe the salad list. I don't know. I was lost somewhere between his cheekbone and a tiny birthmark on his neck.

"We could do the spinach salad and then try these patatas bravas, too. For an appetizer." He looked at me expectantly. I came back to attention, blushing furiously of course, and his eyes were shining in response.

"Oh...yeah, sounds good." I nodded and pretended to glance at the items on the menu between us.

I didn't want Edward to think he'd involved himself with a bumbling, spacey idiot, that's for sure. I pulled my brain from the lovely haze I'd let it drift into and engaged myself in the food discussion. Alice and Jasper were going to split some items, and Edward and I would as well. Is it silly that ordering food together made me insanely happy? Well, I don't care. It did.

Edward made fun of me when I revealed that I couldn't stand goat cheese. He feigned alarm, eyes bugging, and gave me some diatribe about appreciating fine pungent cheeses. Alice chirped in, and I happily reveled in the realization that this Cullen-ness COULD get annoying from time to time. Jasper and I shared a loving eye roll, I laughed, and it finally felt like the night had started to feel completely comfortable. I felt Edward's hand lightly graze my shoulder every few minutes, his forefinger running in soft sporadic circles there.

It felt nice.

We'd finalized our menu and settled into good some casual conversation when I saw him.

Fucking Mike Newton.

In a gray sport jacket and those ridiculous pleated dress pants. He looked like he was trying to grace a page from the Brooks Brothers fall catalog. It wasn't quite working. He'd walked in but headed to the bar, which stood separate from the dining area behind a series of linen curtains. Whew. Maybe he was just grabbing a drink and not eating. Maybe I wouldn't have to...

"Bella? Earth to Bella." Alice snapped her fingers as me. I recovered by taking a sip of wine and nodded to her.

"Sorry, sorry. Thought I saw someone I knew. I think I was wrong though." I knew my voice sounded a bit shaky. But Jasper was the only one who noticed.

I forgot Mike's presence as best I could, sneaking glances toward the bar every few minutes. I had to be on alert; this was a situation I wasn't ready for. Well, I wasn't really ready for anyone to meet Edward. I had no idea what would happen with us yet, and I didn't want to explain the situation to anyone beyond the people sitting at this table. And certainly not Mike. We had an awkward friendship at best these days. He always tried to maintain some twisted kind of control by flirting with me, or making references to our relationship around others. He was a mess.

I couldn't help but relax a little, though, when Alice coaxed her brother into telling us about his band. I hadn't heard any of this yet.

"We played at a couple of little dive bars last month." Edward looked proud, though. I could see it in the cute little gleam of his eyes. "Tom, my band-mate, had a beer bottle thrown at him. I guess the guy didn't like the sax." He laughed telling the story, creases forming in his forehead. And the lines around his eyes danced when he laughed, too. "Tom didn't take it well. He had a little cut on his arm. I had to patch him up, and I swear he took the pain worse than some of the five year olds I've dealt with in the ER."

Of course I think only I noticed how he stumbled a bit on that last sentence.

"Speaking of funny stories," Alice raised her eyebrows and looked pointedly at her brother, "Mom said you had a run in with our favorite Denali princess not too long ago."

What?

I'm not embellishing at all when I say that Edward's eyes literally bugged at Alice's comment. He stiffened, his whole body, I could feel it. Alice looked a little concerned at his reaction, too, I could tell. Something about this was weird.

He coughed. "Yeah, yeah. I think Mom actually told her where I'd be. She just moved out there. It's...you know, it's fine." Edward wasn't looking anywhere near me as he spoke. In fact, I'd venture to say he was avoiding my gaze. "I feel bad. She doesn't know too many people in L.A."

"Who is this?" Leave it to Jasper to ask the crucial question, albeit in the calmest of tones.

"This chick we grew up with, Tanya. She's the youngest of three sisters. They're all a little nutso." Alice laughed and brought her finger to the temple, twirling it to reinforce her point. "We were forced to hang out with them as kids...but you know the funny thing is that I don't think our parents liked the family either. It was all out of obligation because our dad worked with Dr. Denali. Anyway, Tanya's had it bad for Eddie here since we were about seven."

Oh.

Oh, I got it.

I swallowed and forced a smile. There was no way I was going to let on that I cared about this. I'd known Edward for three days. I knew there'd be skeletons. I just might have been finding one sooner than I'd anticipated.

But...it was weird how casually Alice mentioned her around me, knowing that stories of an ex-girlfriend might sting. Or maybe I was using that line of reasoning to make myself feel more optimistic.

"Oh, please." Edward's smile was definitely a little forced. "She's just a clingy person. She worshiped you, my dear, not me." He nodded towards his sister and then leaned back in the booth. I took it as a good sign when he tightened his grip on my shoulder, running a caress down the curve of my arm.

"I couldn't stand it, either." Alice giggled. "Edward's always been better at things like that than me. When something annoys me, I snap."

Oh, we all knew that well enough.

I needed a tiny distraction to recollect my thoughts, so I reached my for wine glass. I brought it slowly to my nose and mouth, breathing in the spicy bouquet. Just as the liquid hit my lips, I felt a foot jab mine under the table. I righted myself just in time, gulping the sip so quickly that my throat burned.

Alice. My eyes darted to hers, and her tiny stiletto-clad foot went at mine one more time, for emphasis I guess. My peripheral vision assured me that Edward and Jasper were chatting for a few seconds. I raised my eyebrows at Alice and she smiled, shaking her head from side to side two times.

What?

She did it again.

I still didn't get it.

She laughed lightly and stole a glance at the guys. They looked animated. Jasper had inquired about something regarding Edward's band. I guess she figured it was safe to whisper something.

"What I was just talking about." She breathed it with a smile, in a cheerful tone, to betray her words. I cocked my head to the side and nodded, admitting with one tiny gesture that the topic of conversation had bothered me, worried me even. I was a weakling when it came to matters of the heart. It didn't take much to make me go all fatalistic, and Alice knew that.

"It's...no." She smiled again and darted her eyes to her brother, as if motioning, and then back to me. "Don't worry about that. Nothing."

I trusted Alice. I did. And in that moment, I wanted to trust her like I never had before. She did know her brother well. But I couldn't help wondering if she knew her brother's life in California well enough to make that claim with confidence. I mean, who knew. Maybe this Tanya woman was part of his life in L.A. Certainly he hadn't told Alice about his med school hiatus yet, so what proof was there that he would confide in her about his love life?

Stop, Bella.

"Did you guys know that Edward sings, too?" Alice giggled.

"Would you stop?" Edward let out a playful sigh and glanced at his little sister, exasperated. There was such love and care in their interactions, though, even when they were teasing one another. Sometimes I wished I knew what it was like to have a sibling. Lord knows Renee and Charlie couldn't have handled another one, though. They lucked out with me because I was largely self-sufficient; I was born forty years old, basically.

"Oh, come on. You're so humble it's pretentious. People don't want you to be that humble." Alice lowered her gaze at him and then rolled her eyes. "I haven't heard you sing in like years now. I guess I have to fly out to Cali and sit at the bar at one of your shows to hear it?" Then she looked directly at me. "Bella loves Van Morrison, Edward. Bella, Edward knows his whole repertoire."

"Alice loves to use the word repertoire." Jasper cut in, smiling, and placed his hand over Alice's lovingly on the table.

Meanwhile, I was working to control the fire threatening at my cheeks. Which were tired this weekend, to be honest. Not even I usually blushed this much.

Edward looked over at me and shot me a soft smile that made me forget instantly about the earlier conversation. Tanya fucking who? She wasn't here right now, in this dimly lit restaurant with Edward's strong arm wrapped around her. I was. She could go to hell, whoever she was.

"Just go ahead and tell me your favorite one right now." He whispered it mostly for me, but of course Al and Jasper could hear his inquiry. I saw Alice squirming with delight in her seat, gripping Jazz's hand so hard it looked like he might grimace.

I didn't hesitate.

"Mystic. Into the Mystic."

His green eyes looked like they were swimming inside themselves, swirling, glinting in the candlelight from the table.

All I heard was a silly little gasp from Alice. Thank you, peanut gallery.

"See. See." And then she said something else, but I didn't hear it.

Edward tilted his head toward mine, and I wasn't sure if he was going in for a kiss or simply to tell me something. My heartbeat turned all erratic as I waited breathlessly. A second became an hour.

I smiled to myself when I felt his lips hovering above my right ear. I could smell the wine on him, and his breath was lush and hot. We weren't touching at all, but we might as well have been having sex on the table, because I'm sure Alice and Jasper were enjoying this show—and my belly had turned into a furnace.

Luckily, our waiter approached then. Our dinner companions distracted themselves very purposefully by speaking with him. Maybe about a bread basket or something.

"She's right. That's mine too. Since I was twelve, actually." His voice vibrated deep, hitting the very base of my ear drum. I smiled. And then he said something else. Which I pray to God no one else could hear. "Bella, you look so stunning. Part of me just wants to take you somewhere right now and get that dress off of you, as beautiful as it is. But I know that would be rude to the others."

He sighed close to my ear and then whispered the softest of kisses there.

It made me want so much more.

"Soon." It seemed a husky promise.

And then he shifted, and his lips were gone from me. Oh, how I mourned them. Oh, how I was all hot now. Would I be expected to carry on a normal conversation after that? Damn you, Edward Cullen.

"You'll have to sing when we're home. How could you not, now?" Alice looked like she was going to burst; her tone was richly laced with innuendo. I'd stopped caring—tease away, Alice. I'll be over here lusting after your brother, fantasizing about ripping these linen pants off of him.

"I'll sing for Bella." He laughed warmly and squeezed my shoulder. "Of course. You chumps...don't count on it."

"I'll see about that. Well, I'll see what Mom has to say about that." Alice winked. "Once she requests a performance from her baby boy, who lives all the way cross the country now and she rarely sees, I doubt said baby boy will be able to refuse."

Alice was good. Alice was amazing.

And Edward was going to sing for me?

Our conversation melted into the food and the wine and the night; it was glorious, really. There is nothing better than an evening meal with people you enjoy. Edward told us about his attempts at surfing; they hadn't gone well, he claimed. Of course, we were all convinced that he was being humble again and probably was actually great at it. Jasper had us all in stitches with some stories about his students. I chimed in a bit with some as well, including the time a freshman showed up at my office at the end of the semester with chocolates and flowers—and promptly announced that he was there to woo me. He wanted an A.

By the time dessert came, I was a little sloshed. I think we all were. And it's also no surprise that the four glasses of wine had caused me to forget about the potential problem lurking around from earlier.

"Swan."

Holy fuck. There was only one person who called me by my last name like that in public.

"Mike." Jasper said his name quickly, as if to warn me of approaching doom.

I looked behind me. Yeah, he was walking toward us. The dining room was rather empty now; it was getting late, and we were one of only two or three tables still occupied.

"Hey there."

Mike's voice was friendly and melodious. I'll give him that. I mean, it had been one of the original attractions. At first impression, Mike Newton is a completely affable, smart, perhaps even slightly charming man. And he might really be those things to people he hasn't seduced. But for me, the magic was all gone. As hard as I tried to move on from the bitterness, all I saw in him now was a bit of a broken man who took too much pleasure in reminding me of the time I'd wasted with him.

"Hey. Mike." I swallowed hard and shot one look at Edward (who didn't know enough to look at all affected yet, and hopefully he would remain oblivious, I thought to myself) before standing to greet him.

I offered him a vacuous hug. That was our routine now. Very empty interactions.

"Hey, Jasper." He nodded to him and then surveyed our dinner scene. "Having a nice night?"

"Yeah, yeah." I bit my lip and turned to face the table. "Mike, this is Alice Cullen, Jasper's girlfriend." Alice stuck out her hand with a smile on her face, ever at the ready with the pixie charm. "And this is Edward Cullen, Alice's brother. He's visiting from California. Guys, this is Mike Newton. He's in the English department with me and Jazz."

God, it all sounded so clinical. Edward didn't seem phased though. He popped up to shake Mike's hand and then smiled. "Nice to meet you."

"You as well." Mike paused, his voice dripping with passivity. His gaze lingered on Edward. And like an animal that had just picked up a scent, Edward's eyes widened and his nostrils flared just a tad.

I knew this wouldn't be so easy. Mike looked at me. "Bella, you look lovely." Oh, here we go.

"Oh, thanks." I brushed off the comment, hopeful that there was no addendum to it.

"Reminds me of the dress you wore that weekend we went up to the show in Asheville."

Yeah, does anyone have any duct tape.

"Hmm. Oh, yeah." I was fucked. I looked in Jasper's direction, pleading. I was too scared to look at Edward yet, but I could see something odd reflected in Alice's gaze. Duh. She'd just put two and two together. She'd heard the stories. She'd just never met him, because by the time she entered our lives he was becoming almost a distant memory.

"Mike, did you send a paper off to that conference in Seattle? The one on eighteenth century literature? I'm still trying to decide." Thank you, Jasper Hale, thank you.

I let out a sigh and sat back down. I owed Jazz one. Or, fifteen beers.

Edward was leaning forward and had his chin rested on his right palm. His mouth was in straight line, kind of unreadable. He turned to me and one side of his mouth went up. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question. He had me cornered. I'd mentioned Mike this morning. Not by name, but I think Edward had already figured it out. I nodded. There was no point in hiding anything now.

Honestly, he looked a little upset. And I'm not going to lie. Selfishly, it was a bit exhilarating. To know that he might be vaguely jealous or unnerved

The thing is, he had no reason to be. And I wanted him to know that as soon as possible.

I brushed a hand lightly over his shoulder and offered him a smile. He responded well, scooting a little closer to me again. By this time, Jasper had managed to completely distract Mike with departmental talk, and Alice had summoned the bill. They were a good team. We'd be able to make a quick exit now.

Which we did. I said goodbye to Mike quickly, with my eyebrows furrowed so he'd get the sense that he was really fucking annoying. I'd told him not to make comments like that. He never listened.

I also made a point to grab Edward's hand as we exited the restaurant and headed down the street. I knew Mike would look, and he did.

Edward seemed to get the message, and I thanked him silently as he squeezed my hand and pulled me to walk even closer. His lips found my hair, and he left them there for a few seconds, breathing deep.

"It never fails, does it?" Jasper looked back toward us from where he was walking next to Alice.

I managed a dry laugh. "Nope. I know he does it on purpose. Why the fuck else would you make comments about things that happened...years ago now? Two years!"

"Would you call that Newton's Law, then? It's like a scientific formula. Mike Newton plus wise-ass comment equals complete idiot, every time." Jasper crinkled his nose. That was a good one. I grinned widely at him and felt Edward chuckle.

That was a good sign.

"I can't see how that man ever came close to deserving you, Bella. Not from what you told me, and not after meeting him. He has a permanent smirk on his face. Like an asshole would." Edward said it to me, but everyone heard. Alice stopped and smiled at our banter.

And Jasper turned around again, night wind whipping his hair over his forehead. "He didn't come close. No way. There's no way."

How did I find such great friends, by the way?

I said goodnight to Edward behind Jasper's car while Jazz and Alice did the same at her door. Alice had pulled me aside after dinner to make sure I didn't mind giving up her brother for the evening. I'd laughed and hugged her, insisting that she was ridiculous. I mean, Edward had come to visit her and they'd yet to really have any alone time together. He hadn't even spent a night at his sister's apartment yet; he'd only been running back and forth taking showers and switching clothes. Which was a pretty amazing visual, come to think of it.

I was also hoping that once alone, Edward might go ahead and open up to his sister about the whole med school thing. We'd talked about it a little earlier in the day, I told him he should bite the bullet and get one family member out of the way, but he remained reluctant.

"This is kind of embarrassing, huh?" He laughed. Edward and I were standing, arms wrapped around each other's waists, our chests almost touching.

"I can think of about a million different ways you could mean that, so be more specific." I smiled and ran my hands up and down his arms. So sturdy.

"I feel like we're fifteen years old and someone's parents have given us five minutes to say goodbye after picking us up from a movie." He leaned forward and pressed a warm kiss to my cheek. I immediately felt like rubber. The wine, and his kiss...I could have been bent any which way in that moment.

"I'm sorry about the run in with Mike."

And tell me about this mysterious woman who Alice referred to as the "princess," I wanted to add. But I wasn't going there tonight. And maybe we'd never have to. I sighed and looked up at him. God, Edward was a lot taller than me. Why hadn't I realized that? Because of the heels the night before I guess. Tonight I was in flats, and he had nearly a foot on me.

Okay, that was super sexy.

"Why? You have no reason to apologize for him being a dick." Edward grimaced and pulled me closer. "I just wish you didn't even have to give him the time of day, that's all. But I know he's in your program, and there are the fears of burning bridges and such. Alice has told me how small a town this can be."

"Yeah." I bit my lip and laid my head against his shoulder. "Thank you."

"Stop thanking me. Thank you." He flashed that crooked smile and then came in for the kill.

We didn't have much time left. Alice was waiting on her brother.

Our mouths met in a lovely tangling of lips and tongue, unabashedly hot and wet. God, he tasted so delicious.

I pulled back briefly.

"You're delicious." Did I really just say that? I licked my lips. Edward looked turned on. He laughed and pulled me back to him in one fierce motion.

"You too, Bella...strawberry Bella." He muttered it against my lips.

We said goodbye. Reluctantly.

I was so hot and bothered that I knew I'd have to go home and do something about it myself.

The ride home with Jasper was nice though—just the wind whipping around us and some Kings of Leon blasting through his speakers. I convinced him to let me smoke one cigarette in his car; it felt smooth in my throat. Despite the run-in with Mike, tonight had been almost perfect.

Three hours later, at exactly 2:10am, my Blackberry beeped at me out of the silence of my room. It woke me up. I slung my arm over sleepily and picked it up, squinting.

It was a text message from Edward Cullen.

Which meant someone had plugged Edward Cullen's number into my phone. Why did I have a sinking suspicion that one Edward Cullen had done this himself? I grinned like an idiot in the darkness of my room, but it was okay—no one was there to see me, all giddy and red and almost falling off my bed.

"Just finished a movie. Would have enjoyed it so much more with you to hold."

This man either wrote the handbook on how to work the magic, or he was really just this amazing. I had a feeling it was the latter.

"Would have been happy to be held."

I smiled to myself and pressed "send."

A few seconds later, I sent another. "Wait, that sounded dirty."

His response: "I like dirty. Night, sweet Bella."

I fell back against my pillow with a deep sigh and a smile on my face.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello there!

Some of y'all have already read the first part of this chapter; it's an edited and lengthened Chapter 7. So scroll down for a little bit of new stuff.

Thanks to those of you who've added this story and written a few reviews. I'm finally planning on updating regularly, and I'd love to find a decent-sized readership for this story. Also, bring on the feedback!

Chapter 7: Can you smell the honeysuckle?

Two days later we drove up a long and winding dirt road, swallowed by pine trees and the gentle chirping of summer birds. It was still early, not even nine in the morning, and with the windows open the car smelled like summer inside. I reached over to touch Edward's hand, gently, not intrusively. He'd been in a daydream since we drove out of Athens three hours earlier. I knew it probably had nothing to do with me or anyone else; he was nervous to confront his parents.

But he turned toward me at the small gesture, offering a tender smile as he sat leaning against his door.

Heart-melt. I rubbed one of his fingers with my own and that seemed all the communication we'd need for now.

Alice and Jazz were busy bickering in the front seat. Alice had been quite livid to discover that her boyfriend had forgotten to pack the gift she'd bought her parents in the car this morning. She could huff and puff better than anyone, and she didn't forgive easily. Jazz knew to sit back and let her moods pass; this was their compatibility at its best work.

The last two days had been a whirlwind.

Edward and I managed only one more afternoon alone, sneaking out for a hike at the Botanical Gardens while Alice and Jazz napped. It felt less like hiking and more like floating, though, as I followed behind his shorts-clad legs and designer hiking boots. He always looked like an angel, even sweating in the heat, sporting a day's growth of stumble on his sharp jaw-line. We stumbled for the last half-mile or so, though, because we'd started touching each other and couldn't stop, eager to get back to my car so we could jump in the backseat for a few minutes before we were missed.

Oh, sigh.

Alice also insisted that she and I go shopping at Lenox Square in Atlanta for new summer clothes to take along on our little road adventure. I stormed out of Neiman Marcus in half-mocked anger after she tried to stick me in some high-waist shorts that made me feel like my body had been torn into two pieces. And then I blushed when she held up some racy pieces at Victoria's Secret. She convinced me to buy a few things, though, and so this morning I was decked out in a lovely new summer sundress, cream and lavender checkered, with a thin bodice that made my breasts look amazing in a very tasteful manner. Something you could meet the parents in.

Meet the fucking parents. How did I get myself into this? Bella Swan's downfall (well, one of them) is her impatience.

Maybe I should have said no to this trip. Insisted that my going was ridiculous, unnecessary.

"I'm so glad you're here."

What?

His voice came out of nowhere, next to me on the seat. It was a little rough-sounding, he cleared his throat, and smiled over at me. I blushed of course.

"I…yeah, I'm really glad to be here." I nodded and diverted my eyes to the hem of my dress for a moment, suddenly shy like a twelve-year old out on her first date. "Thanks."

"Almost there, peeeeeps." Alice seemed suddenly cheered by the idea of home. She squealed softly, Jasper looked relieved that their spat might be over, and Edward shifted very uncomfortably in his seat. This all happened at once, and before I counted three more seconds, it seemed, we pulled up in front of what you could only describe as a…well, a mansion.

White columned, sturdy, three stories. My mouth fell open, I know it. I blinked rapidly, taking in the scene before me. It was something out of a magazine, really, maybe even Southern Living; potted plants hanging in symmetry, flowers in bloom, rocking chairs gliding gently against the morning wind. In the circular driveway sat two cars—a black Volvo sedan and a silver Mercedes. Holy fuck, these Cullens were loaded. I should have known; I'd certainly suspected.

"Come on." Edward sighed to himself, grinned at me, and playfully pushed me to open my door. Jazz and Alice had already jumped out. I took one deep breath and emerged, just in time to see two very refined-looking people run out unto the wide porch.

"Babies!" The woman was tiny, not far over five feet, with honey and amber hair lifted into a sleek ponytail. I'd done the math. Unless Esme Cullen was a child bride, she had to be approaching fifty, but she could have easily passed for twenty years younger than that. Alice had her bright eyes. The two women embraced tightly, sharing peels of laughter.

Edward squeezed my shoulder briefly before approaching the man standing on the porch, hands in pockets. Carlisle looked like the patriarch of a blonde empire, his sleek build turned out in pressed khackis and a linen Oxford shirt. As he held out his arms for his son, I could see immediately how Edward had become the man he was. But I could also see how great pressure came from trying to live up to a man like that.

Jasper and I stood back and shared a smile, waiting, but really it only a matter of seconds before the parents-Cullen turned their attention to their children's respective guests. They'd met Jazz before, of course, so there were quick and easy hugs. Esme even pinched his cheek.

When she turned to me, I held my breath, feeling as though their every impression of me would be caught up in this moment. And tainted by the fact that I was such a last-minute addition. Some random woman Edward picked up in Athens?

"Bella. You must be Bella. You're beautiful, come here." The softest of smiles, and suddenly I was enveloped by tiny perfect arms and the scent of gardenia powder. She spoke right next to my ear. "We've heard so much about you, from Alice and now from Eddie. Welcome. Our home is your home this week."

I looked over my shoulder to see my three travel companions smiling in amusement.

When I broke away, Carlisle kept it simple. He shook my hand, very firmly, and shot me a wink. I liked him already.

Edward gravitated back toward me then, and pulled me alongside him by the hand as we made our way to the back porch— where an incredibly elaborate breakfast spread had been laid out by someone.

"Do you guys have a cook? Or a butler?" I raised my eyebrow and whispered against his shoulder, almost shivering as he rubbed my hand and ghosted his lips against my hair for the briefest of seconds.

"Nope. Esme's a pro." He smirked and motioned for me to take a seat next to him on a wooden bench at one side of the table. "Comes from a long line of southern belles, but she went rogue and got a business degree as well as a culinary one."

Wowza. Go Esme.

The conversation was lighthearted. I spread what looked like homemade raspberry jam on a muffin as Edward and Alice did their best to catch their parents up to speed. Of course, I might have been the only one that noticed when Edward dodged a couple of questions about school. I kept eating but reached underneath the table to squeeze his hand a couple of times. This week wasn't going to be easy for him.

"Bella, you must tell us about your writing. Alice has gone on and on about how talented you are." Esme sat so poised, a fork in her hand, eyes lit up. The breeze rattled the silken fabric of her dress.

I paused, looking to Edward for a bit of confidence, before I set my coffee cup down and did my best to smile with ease. "Oh, wow, well…I do love to write. I'm kind of struggling with my dissertation a bit right now. The conceptualization of it. But basically it's about applying Thoreau's ideas of nature and wilderness to the American rural tradition and the literature that's come out of it."

There. The thirty second version.

"Sounds interesting." Carlisle grinned and leaned toward me from across the table. "Did you get inspired by something in particular? To study this?"

"Perhaps." I bit my lip. God, I'd never even thought to ask myself that really. "I grew up mostly in the Pacific Northwest with my dad. It was indeed a very rural area, very forested obviously. The people I love. What I study here in the South is more about farming culture though."

"I've told Edward he should practice in a rural area for a few years. I did it. It's eye-opening." Carlisle kept smiling, but Edward's smile disappeared. In fact, he turned pale. I noticed Alice quirk an eyebrow at the reaction.

Several of us cleared out throat at the silence. I guess everyone was waiting for Edward to respond to that.

"I told you, dad, I don't know. I'm a city guy." He shrugged, and that was that.

For now, anyway. City guy, huh? Like L.A. Which he would return to in about a week's time.

Cue Bella doubting herself.

"Well, maybe you'll change your mind." Carlisle laughed and seemed pre-occupied with something Alice said. I leaned into the beautiful man beside me, felt his warmth, offered him mine. I felt him press back slightly, as if accepting this gift of support.

The rest of the group conversation went on without a hitch to speak of.

Breakfast drifted into more coffee on the porch, and then mimosas by the pool. Yes, the pool. Amazing, landscaped, water-like-glass. I'd spent less than three hours with the Cullens, but already I could tell two things. One, they preferred the best of everything. Yet, two (and this was key), they weren't pretentious about it at all.

Esme and Carlisle insisted that we all settle into our rooms and unpack, perhaps take a nap before some sort of special dinner reservation. Lord knows where we'd be going. I was suddenly secretly glad that Alice has insisted we go shopping.

They'd set us all up in separate rooms. This I was not shocked by in the least. Esme and Carlisle, as warm and welcoming and down to earth as they were, also struck me as very traditionally-minded people. It all went along with the general refinement, which I admired. Was a bit jealous of even.

Alice and Jazz had taken up residence on the third floor (no doubt so they could most easily shack up in secret). Edward led me to a hallway on the second floor and pointed to a closed door on the right before chucking to himself.

"This is embarrassing." His green eyes seemed happy again, recovered from that dilemma over breakfast.

"What is?" I smiled and nudged him.

"Well, you're about to see my childhood bedroom. Esme hasn't changed it since I left for college, oh, like eight years ago. I'm considering changing my mind and not showing you. We should go straight to your quarters. They're just down the hall."

He was teasing. I playfully pushed in front of him and grabbed for the doorknob. He tried to sweep me back, grabbing at my waist. My stomach sparked, but I charged ahead, breathless as I fell inside and took in a large bedroom with windows lining one wall completely. It was gorgeous.

Edward stood behind me as I observed in silence. There were music posters all over the other three walls, everything from Pink Floyd to Leonard Cohen to U2. They seemed so odd juxtaposed against the taupe of the paint and the sophisticated aesthetic of the architecture. Bookshelves took up the space that the posters didn't, spilling over with worn paperbacks and bound leather sets alike.

"It looks so much like you." I spun around to face him. "Books and music, and…"

"Everything's a little mismatched." He nodded, grinning wildly. "I'm a little tortured. Let's be honest."

I think my heart fell on the floor, he looked so fucking sexy. Self-deprecating, tortured, sexy med-school-dropout man, please take your clothes off? Or take mine off?

He must have read my mind. Within seconds I was in his arms, tight against him as he sucked on my neck, nipping, licking. I let out a moan, and with that remembered exactly where we were.

"Edward…" I was husky, turned on, but attempting to be practical. "Your parents are one floor down. And I'm not supposed to be in here."

He chuckled, hot breath traveling down my throat and onto my breasts. I shuddered against him, pushing closer, grinding my hips against his just slightly. He grunted before replying.

"Please, Bella, they couldn't care less. Trust me. There won't be any bed checks." Another golden laugh, another lick at my neck. Fuck. "Did I tell you yet that you look really sexy in this dress? This purple color on you…"

His voice trailed off as he pulled back to place his mouth directly on mine. Our tongues met furiously, so wet and warm that I wanted to scream.

Í was still a bit concerned…what, making out with and rubbing all over the Cullens' son a few feet above their heads. But Edward made everything else disappear, and he made me mushy and turned me on in such a way that I'd follow him to the ends of the earth barefoot if that's what he said we had to do.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that couldn't be quite right. To be this unconditionally enamored so quickly.

Fuck, I didn't care yet.

He'd managed to scoot us back so that he could gently close the door and lock it. My heart fluttered, knowing what was to come.

And so, yes, we made love that afternoon on the twin bed of his childhood, with the sun pouring in through an open window and spreading light over his body above me. His sweat felt like mine and mine his, the heat of his body fusing us together as we moved. I never knew it could be like this every time.

We bit into the same pillow between us as we came, to prevent noise, and I think it might have been the single sexiest thing I've ever seen, our mouths so close together on the cloth as we muffled our sounds together. Our eyes met, and I could barely stand the intensity of what passed between us. I fell back and sighed, contented as he slid behind me, untangling our limbs only so he could wrap his arms around me.

This seemed so decadent.

"Jesus." I could barely speak, and he chuckled, squeezing me closer.

"We just defiled my childhood." A kiss on my cheek. "I hope you're happy."

"Ha." I smiled and pushed back into his chest. "I hope you're happy. You just seduced me into defiling your entire childhood, buddy." I rubbed his thigh. "Besides, I highly doubt this is the only time this bed's seen action."

"You'd be shocked." He laughed, and I turned my neck around to face him at an angle. His eyes were shimmering, with a little wit, and little sarcasm, and always that bit of self-deprecation. "I haven't always been this successful at seduction."

"But musicians always get the girls." I bit my lip and wrinkled my nose. Of course the last thing I wanted to imagine was Edward sexing up other women.

"Well, it looks like they eventually get the right ones, anyway." And with that he winked.

And with that I think my limbs went numb. Or maybe every part of me.

"Can you smell the honeysuckle outside there, nature girl?" He whispered in my ear, and I couldn't help but shiver. I pressed into him so tight that it almost hurt, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Yep."

I woke up the next morning with a dry itching throat, a minor headache, and a leg swung over the entire length of my body.

Le sigh.

Edward's parents knew how to treat some folks to dinner.

And drinks. And dancing until the wee hours. Carlisle and Esme were more resilient party-makers (and could hold their liquor much better) than any of the four of us, all decades younger. We devoured an amazing meal at a trendy tavern in Greenville, bar-hopped until about eleven, and then ended up swing dancing at a swanky club (lord knows, I couldn't remember the name of it if I tried) until nearly two in the morning.

A lot of it was a whirl of images in my head made blurry and scattered by fatigue and the alcohol. But I did remember dancing quite exuberantly in a small circle with Alice and Esme, arms in the air and my drink waving.

I think Edward and I fell into his bed the minute we arrived home; he insisted that his parents would never be the wiser about our co-habitation, nor would they really care, as long as my things were put away in the guest room and appearances were kept up. Anyway, it would have been a pointless endeavor to protest; and honestly, I didn't have the will power to. I loved waking up next to him, his warm cheek pressed close to mine, even his leg haphazardly thrown across me as it was now. I knew I didn't have many mornings like this with him; within a week he'd be gone.

And that fact was starting to catch up with me like a speeding train, one that had an engine problem but suddenly started making up a lot of time.

"Does your head hurt as much as mine does? I hope nottttt." His voice was slurred against his pillow, and Edward hadn't even opened his eyes. How was it possible that he looked good scruffy and hungover? Motherfucker!

I kept having to remind myself that he must have some flaws hidden somewhere. Maybe they were hidden in his hair.

I sighed and began to disentangle my body from his. I was naked, that much I could tell, although I don't know how I got that way. There were deep lines on my thighs from the sheets wrapped around us. I touched my face and grimaced as my fingers came in contact with day-old eyeliner.

"I'm a mess, dude, no matter the state of my head." I playfully pushed him away from me and sat up, gathering part of the sheet around my upper body. Sometimes I still felt shy around him, particularly with the glaring morning sun shining down on the imperfections of my body. The rays hit the faint lines of cellulite on my inner thighs as I sat there, examining myself.

"Did you just say 'state of head'? Sounds good, come here." Still no eyes opened, but he was smirking. Okay, maybe that was his downfall. Cocky son of a…

"Bella, honeybunches, baby, darling, lover…." He spoke in a teasing whisper and lunged for me. I twisted and fell on top of him until our faces were mere inches apart.

"There are the eyes." I smiled and touched his scruffy cheeks.

"They like you."

"Are you still drunk?" I raised my eyebrows and giggled. It was entirely possible, though, that he was still tipsy. We had consumed A LOT of beer and wine.

"Drunk on your love." He grinned and closed the small distance between our mouths, gliding his tongue over my bottom lip slowly. I started twitching, all the muscles in my body contracting as he moved his tongue and mouth against mine, ghosting instead of really kissing me. I couldn't resist grabbing for his hair, my hands making two small fists of that wild bronze mess.

I knew he was joking around, making comments meant to make my legs feel like jelly and my heart swoon in silly ways hearts are supposed to swoon. And it worked. But his choice of the word "love" confused me, if only because that word hadn't been introduced into our little Edward/Bella world at all. We hadn't uttered it to one another in any context. I guess hearing it, harmless as the poor fellow meant it, made me miss something that I feared I would never even really know.

I broke the kiss, hesitantly, and just pecked his cheek before sitting back up.

He looked a little confused, to be honest.

"Bella, you okay?" Half of the smile was melting from his sweet face, and I immediately felt guilty for ruining the moment.

"Yep…yeah…I'm just…" Words, Bella, words. "I'm just hungover I guess! Lord help us." I laughed, more so to make him feel better than to ease my own worries. I think it served its purpose. Edward pulled me into a ridiculously warm and soothing bear hug, and then commenced rubbing my shoulders very gently until I thought I might fall back asleep.

"Are you having a good time?" He breathed close to my ear, and I toyed with the slightly-fraying sleeve of his white tee-shirt. How had I ended up naked, while he retained some clothing last night?

"Did I take my clothes off last night, or did you?" I raised a humorous eyebrow at him. I suspected the latter.

"Interesting answer to my question." He smiled, his green eyes almost luminescent in the morning light. "You took them off, ma'am. By the way. since you asked." He nudged me playfully in the stomach. "I think so, anyway. I wish I could take credit, in fact, but I have a vague memory of you walking through the room declaring how warm you were and that…well…you said something about needing to feel pure and naked I think. I also vaguely remember laughing at you because you almost missed the bed."

My eyes widened as he finished his sordid little tale. I bit my lip and tried to remember any of this, while Edward continued examining me with that perfect little smirk on his face.

"Really?" Oh Jesus, maybe that did happen. I do have this occasional tendency to strip naked after a long night out, particularly when I'm drunk, but I'd been alone when that happened at night for so long that I guess it had become something I didn't give a second thought to.

"Oh don't look embarrassed, beautiful Bella. If I had been coherent, I would have taken more time to enjoy the view."

I sighed and shook my head, blushing furiously at him.

One more simple kiss from him, and then I answered his real question.

"I'm having an amazing time, by the way. See? Such a good time that I apparently feel comfortable stripping down to my skivvies in your childhood bedroom…in front of a picture window no less."

And I was having a nice time. The Cullens' existence seemed so effortless to an outside observer like myself; the relaxing and the drinking and eating and dancing, and the elegance more generally, all came so easily, so beautifully.

So in many ways it made perfect sense that Edward had come from this place.

I just didn't know where he was going, exactly.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Are those shoes dropping from the sky?

(Song inspiration: "Miracle Drug," AC Newman)

"Jasper was telling us that you are a near-insatiable reader of nearly all things, Bella?"

Carlisle's voice was as smooth as melting butter. Such a clichéd description, but I cannot resist putting it that way.

We had both ended up in the house's expansive library later in the afternoon. This room was a bibliophile's wettest dream: mahogany chairs and deep cherry-wood shelves, all stuffed full of a collection that would put even an Ivy Leagued lit professor to shame. It certainly put me to shame.

I'd wandered in by myself a few minutes earlier, eager to snatch a little time to myself while Edward and Alice went into town to shop with Esme. I was exposed to enough of Alice's fanaticism at home, thank you very much. I passed, as did Jasper. I think he was napping, or maybe ambling around on a walk. He liked to be alone sometimes.

Carlisle had snuck up on me, clearing his throat only after I'd jumped at the sound behind me. It was a guilty clearing-of-throat. I giggled and turned to him, and that's when he asked me about my reading habits.

Hell, I can't deny it; for a few moments I fantasized about touching Carlisle Cullen. I mean, he looked absolutely stunning every time I saw him, but in that moment he looked more relaxed, almost sensual leaning against the doorjamb.

I totally imagined the sensuality of course, making the scene my own, but it was fun nonetheless.

What woke me back up was his smile. I knew he and Edward weren't actually related, and shared no genetic material. But standing there, this handsome man in his early fifties (single-handedly making sweater-vests sexy again, at least to me) seemed like a harbinger of an older, wiser Edward. The smiles were the same, the charisma was the same.

I finally found my voice.

"Well…yeah, that's pretty accurate actually. Jazz and I, a bad combo. The Barnes and Noble in Athens might just stay in business mostly because of the two of us." I paused and sighed approvingly toward all the books. "Your library is a dream. I'm in heaven."

"Ah, good." Carlisle walked in and took a seat next to where I was standing. Should I sit as well?

"Bella, take a seat."

Alrighty.

"I won't keep you long." he continued, and I carefully arranged myself in the chair next to him. God, the leather was soft…and perfectly worn.

"Oh it's no problem. I'd love to chat." I smiled to hide my wave of anxiety. I didn't handle conversations with new people all that well.

Carlisle nodded and smiled, and I could have sworn he did that because he could somehow sense that I was indeed suddenly nervous. He didn't want me to feel confronted. His eyes were warm, genuine, soothing even.

"Bella, I'm going to ask you a pretty blunt question, if that's okay?" I would have been extremely fearful of his words had his eyes not also simultaneously lit up in this perfectly whimsical smirk.

"Suu…sure." I swallowed against a dry throat and sat back, fumbling with my hands a bit.

"Nothing to do with you, no worries. This isn't a test or anything." Carlisle smiled once more before getting back to the business at hand. "In asking you this question, I might accidentally tell you something that you may not know. And if that's the case, then I'll have to ask you to treat the information with discretion. But if my intuitions are correct, you already know said information." He sighed.

What?

"Okay." I blinked. And then there it was, thick in the air.

"Do you happen to know if Edward is planning to tell me that he's quit medical school?"

Wow-fucking-za.

He knew. Somehow he knew. All of Edward's hemming and hawing about telling this man this news, and he already knew. And come to think of it, how had I become the middle-woman for all of this information?

Half of me was exasperated with Edward for putting me in this position, and the other half was frustrated with his father for the very same reason. I had mere seconds to make a decision, as Carlisle nodded at me and rubbed his hands against his khacki-clad knees.

My silence had given me away, I was sure of it, and now I just had to respond as elegantly as possible.

"I think that he is. While he's here. Honestly I think that was one of the main reasons behind this whole trip east." I paused. My breath caught in my throat, and I felt overwhelmed. And then all I could think about was disappointing Edward, betraying his confidence.

Carlisle was a mind-reader.

"Bella, I'm not going to tell him we spoke if you don't want me to." Our eyes connected, and I suppose I felt a bit more at ease.

"How did you find out, if you don't mind me asking?" Whoa, Bella.

I had no idea where that little burst of confidence came from. But I was just going to go with it.

"Not to sound, well…okay, not to sound…well, like an ass or an overprotective father," Carlisle sighed and gave me a weak smile, "but there are former colleagues of mine working in LA. They didn't spy on Edward for me, I would never ask that, but it just kind of happened that they would keep in touch and update me on how Edward was doing if they happened to hear. I've known for months, since a couple of weeks after he dropped. I was, of course, furious at first. And then confused. And now just hurt that he's keeping this from me."

I had one more important question. Well…important to me, anyway.

"How could you be so sure he'd have told me?"

Carlisle seemed to relax more at this inquiry. Like that look someone gives you when you've asked them a question they'd actually enjoy answering. Which was weird, given the current conversation.

"That's an easy one, Bella. Edward called a few days ago to let us know you would be coming. We had the longest, most personal conversation we've had in years that night. I thought it so odd that we discussed so many important things about his life, yet he still never mentioned anything about leaving school."

I was so confused.

"So what did he talk about?" I raised one eyebrow.

"You, Bella."

What?

"Really?" The word came out like a small shriek. I felt my face heating up into a nice plumb blush, and Carlisle let out a very sincere laugh. Fuck, how embarrassing.

"Yes, really. Don't worry, nothing too, too specific." He winked. I almost died. "Mostly it was his general tone, his exuberance. He was opening up, excited about having met you, telling me how much you two enjoyed each other's company. We've always been close, and I know Edward has always respected me. But it's been awhile since we talked that comfortably."

It took me a few trembling seconds to really register what Carlisle was saying. And then he just kept going!

"So, what I'm trying to say is…well, obviously he wasn't coming to me about school. I knew he hadn't gone to Alice. She can't keep a secret to save her life, my baby girl. He must have been struggling with the question of who to share this news with. I just felt like he'd found you and maybe trusted you with the burden."

I really didn't know what to say. I think part of me already knew everything Carlisle had just said. Edward had felt a connection with me just as I had with him. I had known innately to trust him, and to want him, and I suppose this was a little bit of proof that he'd felt the same things.

I felt hot, stuffy. I clawed at the collar of my tee-shirt, feeling the flush of my cheeks rolling down unto my neck, maybe even making its way to my stomach.

I knew I had to say something.

"He did open up to me about it." I swallowed hard and chose my words very carefully. "He expressed worry at telling you because he thought you'd be disappointed in him. I encouraged him to tell Alice before we came here, so she could help soften the blow. I also tried to assure him that the truth was always best, that he'd suffer more living the lie."

Carlisle looked oddly satisfied by my words, when really I felt like I'd shared very little. I was doing my best job of being diplomatic. Edward and I had discussed this topic A LOT, and I'd boiled it down to a couple of digestible sentences.

"Thank you for being open to this conversation, Bella." He shifted closer to me to make his point further. "I realize what an odd situation you probably feel like you've walked into. And I realize you and Edward just met. I'm sorry if all this seems a bit dramatic. But, honestly, after last night I realized that you very much feel a part of the family."

That should have sounded creepy. But instead, from his honeyed, wise, beautiful Carlisle mouth it sounded incredibly sweet and touching.

Why did I feel tears prickling at the corner of my eyes?

"That's so nice of you to say. I'm really enjoying myself here. I feel at home."

We shared another smile and made some small talk before Carlisle excused himself to take a nap. He and Esme had both taken the week off from work because of their children's visit, and he made a joke about wanting to take full advantage of the afternoon's napping potential.

He assured me that he was going to let Edward come to him.

I was left with my thoughts and a pile of poetry by Sylvia Plath.

I wasn't very familiar with her. I read The Bell Jar for a lit course in undergrad and then felt weighted down by it for weeks. I avoided her poetry because of that, scared that if I read too many descriptions of how she lost herself as a woman I might start to do the same. Silly fears.

Edward had helped me travel out of a shell I'd never even really known I was in, I think. Oh, I knew that work was not as satisfying as it had once been. I felt like I was in a rut. Even Jazz had noticed it. But I still functioned so well on a daily basis that I firmly believed the status quo might even itself out and everything would be fine again, like magic.

Edward's presence reminded me of everything that I was missing.

It was lovely to think that I'd had a similar effect on him.

I thumbed through a few pages before I realized that my mind was mush after the conversation with Carlisle.

I flipped the light out in the library and strode leisurely down the long main hallway, admiring the stained-glass lamps that peeked out of the den, then the row of antique silver mirrors strung all down the corridor. I loved beautiful old things. Something about the Cullens…they had this air of classic, even old world, elegance.

I ended up out on the front porch in a wicker lounge.

For a few moments I allowed my mind to alternate between paranoia (that Edward would find out that I knew Carlisle knew) and a strange new happiness. Maybe Edward did care enough about me. To turn this amazing fling into an amazing permanent thing.

I must have dozed off. I had a hazy brief dream about Edward laying in that meadow of mine back home in Forks.

I awoke to what can only be described as an absolute clusterfuck.

I heard voices through the haze of sleep. Alice and Edward, at first, arguing about something. Yelling. I'd never heard Edward or Alice yell. It wasn't vile sounding, just…intense.

"Edward, you have to tell her."

I yawned lazily in my chair before I realized that this conversation was real and related to me somehow.

"Alice, stop dictating to me regarding my personal interactions. You've always fucking done that!" His voice was pure venom now. "Not the job of younger sisters!"

"Bella's too wonderful, Edward, to be dicked around. If you're thinking for one minute you can…"

Alice's voice stopped because…well, I'm pretty sure it was because they realized I was sitting about fifteen feet from them. I sat up. I heard car doors close gingerly, little clicks, such a contrast to the shrill voices I'd just heard.

Esme peeked out from behind them and smiled gently, before busying herself with unloading bags from the trunk.

There was a hot wind in the air, and I swear it seemed like one of those climactic scenes in a movie when the wind whips through the main characters' hair and it signifies some coming revelation.

Edward met my gaze hesitantly, like a scared child who'd been caught with his hand deep in the cookie jar. I set my jaw and tried to look stern. He saw it, how my eyes changed. His expression was such a train wreck—guilt, worry, and still some of that sweet Edward I'd come to know.

"Hey Bella." Alice's voice retained some of its usual cheerfulness, but I think we all realized what was going on. Some cat was out of some bag.

She stood there with a single Neiman Marcus tote hanging from her shoulder. It looked like it was full of shoeboxes.

Esme climbed the stairs, her tiny delicate frame breaking the silence with its litheness.

"Bella, dear, come with me. I have a quick question for you. And we bought you a couple of things—you should try them on, see if you like them. Alice swore up and down that you would!"

Somehow I found my feet, found my legs, followed her inside, without a second glance at Edward.

I felt so uncomfortable, in that moment. So out of place.

She dropped the bags in the alcove and turned to me, her amber eyes soft and understanding. Even her gentle disposition could do very little to numb the stinging behind my eyes or in the pit of my stomach. Or calm the voice shouting "I told you so!" in the back of my own head.

"Don't concern yourself with their bickering. I'm sure it's nothing."

I nodded to appease her, pulling my hair tightly behind my ears.

"Did Carlisle get a chance to speak with you?"

"About what. What did Carlisle have to speak to you about?"

Edward's tone was anxious, and tinged with anger.

The next few seconds went by in a blur. I turned around, Edward took in a sharp breath, Alice tripped in the door, Esme let out a heavy sigh, and from somewhere I heard the pitter-pattering of metaphorical shoes dropping from the sky, or maybe the ceiling.

Or come to think of it, maybe they were real shoes, from Alice's bag.

* * *

[AN: Sorry to leave you with a cliffie! I promise another update is coming soon. This story is far from over. In the meantime…please review if you're enjoying the story! Even better, pass on the link to a friend! Peace out.]


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: So what do you think?

[AN first:

Hello readers!

As I've finally begun to update regularly, I find that my readership is also finally growing a bit. I've noticed quite a few people have set this story on alert, which is exciting for me! I'd love to see more reviews—mostly because I'm dying for some feedback or even constructive criticism.

Also, please, please spread the word!

Without further ado, I present to you Chapter 9.

This sequences has been difficult to write. Don't abandon me yet, though, there's tons more to come. And a lot of it is wonderful. Just remember—even in a B/E story, the narrative is a marathon, not a sprint.]

Seconds passed like hours after that.

I remember that the Cullens' entryway seemed very hot and oppressive in those moments, and that the delicate chandelier above my head no longer glowed softly but instead harshly. Even my skin felt hot.

I suppose it was because my face was no less than aflame as I turned toward the man who only minutes before had felt to me like some kind of soulmate.

All of that seemed crashed and crushed to the ground.

Esme and Alice snuck out, and I spat words at him with little coherence.

How I'd heard him and Alice, knew something was different or wrong…

Edward was nearly hyperventilating, and he reached for my elbow to no avail. I flew back violently, away from his touch. If he touched me, I might have fallen for his comfort like a deer falls, stunned, in front of a headlight. And then I'd never say what needed to be said.

"Why are you using that tone with me?" I spat it, and my voice didn't sound like my own. "What's happening?"

"You tell me, Bella." He calmed a bit, at least visibly, and crossed his arms at his chest. I think in that instant I truly began to see what one of Edward Cullen's major flaws was. He could be impenetrably stubborn, and once he realized he'd be unable to control this particular situation seemed to be throwing up a thick wall around himself. His chin was even tilted upward. I noticed a tiny scar just underneath it. I'd never seen that before, and somehow such a revelation made me even angrier.

"Okay, whatever." I sighed and wrung my hands out for no real reason except to shake off some of the nervous energy tumbling through my limbs.

Half of me wanted to hurt him.

For putting me in this position between him and his father. For keeping some secret that Alice apparently thought mattered so much that not telling me would equate "dicking me around." Somewhere in the back of my head I think I already knew who it involved. I just couldn't bear to think her name yet. But most of all, I wanted to hurt him for making me fall so deeply for him that I'd end up here, at his house, vulnerable and confused.

But the more rational parts of my psyche knew that he was hurting too, for different reasons. That the revelation about his father's knowledge of his predicament would come as a rough blow. That it had nothing to do with me but with the larger scope of Edward's life. And I'd only been in it for just about a week.

"Your dad asked me about you and school. He knows you dropped out, Edward."

It was as if bags formed underneath his eyes the moment I spoke it, as if the news sucked every bit of joy from his face and body and replaced it with lethargy.

Edward looked defeated, not so angry anymore.

"Why the hell did he ask you about it?" Venom voice.

Wrong, Bella. He was still angry.

"Fuck you, too." I bit my lip and sucked in a deep breath, closing my eyes against the regret of such a reaction. That was how Mike and I fought. I couldn't let this thing become any of that. "Sorry…I'm just…I had no control over this. He said he figured you'd confided in me. Because…"

I was going to add that Carlisle had observed what a meaningful connection I seemed to share with Edward. I was going to add that it had touched me, hearing of how father and son had opened up to one another and that I might have had something to do with that. Instead, the tears came, and I felt suddenly very unloved and lonely.

Right now I was just a vessel for Edward's anger. And maybe that was all I'd ever been for him.

My tears softened his posture, but his green eyes were seemingly permanent stone now. Hard and cold.

"I'm sorry. You're right…this isn't your battle." He sighed and grabbed the paneling on the door to steady himself. "It's just…damn it. I knew I should have told him, I knew he couldn't have really been the dark like I wanted to pretend he was. This is awful."

"He actually didn't seem that upset." I sniffled and wiped my nose on the sleeve of my shirt. A hiccup escaped, making me sound even more pathetic.

Why was I taking the time to comfort him?

He nodded in slight recognition of the offered encouragement.

We stood in silence for a few full minutes, the methodical noises from a nearby clock the only reminder that anything was actually happening.

"I guess you want to know what Alice and I were talking about earlier." He sucked in his breaths, and I knew instinctively that we'd entered uncharted territory.

When his eyes met mine right then, I got so scared.

I guess I realized somewhere within that gaze and his stance that I really didn't know Edward all that well. This one argument might sending up packing as renewed strangers, and maybe no bonds forged thus far were viable enough to sustain a large amount of conflict.

What confused those thoughts was a memory of caressing his face a few days before, as we lay on a blanket in the Botanical Gardens in Athens. He'd fallen asleep, and I traced the line of his mouth with my fingers over and over, memorizing them. I'd half-suspected he woke up during it but let me continue anyway.

"Yes, I do." I swallowed. "But…we could talk later. If you want to get some stuff squared away with your dad first. That's more important."

Maybe it was the hope battering around somewhere in my chest that convinced me he looked a little pained at my statement.

Who knows, though, who knows.

One beat later, he nodded and began walking away from me.

"Let's talk tonight, yeah. I'm sorry."

And then he was gone, and I felt like crumpling on the floor.

The bedroom meant for me, but not yet used by me, felt empty and boring.

I fell back on crisp cotton sheets that smelled like freesia but felt nothing around me, barely even the air.

Renee always told me I did this even as a small child. I'd go into near-catatonic states when I was upset. She said as long as she could see me blinking she didn't worry and would leave me be for hours at a time because there seemed little she could do.

She said I always came around, and also that I'd always come up with some serious, and often precocious, resolution to the problem at hand.

Anyway, Alice and Jasper wouldn't employ this strategy.

They came tiptoeing in a few minutes later, whispering to each other in the question of whether I was asleep or not.

"No, I'm not." I laughed rather dryly and sat up, sniffling once more before I commanded myself to stop crying for the foreseeable future.

"Hey, babe." Jazz smiled, and I loved him for it. Jasper was too genuine a spirit to ever fake anything. He couldn't fake smiles. If he pitied me, his face would show it. If he was worried or angry, I'd be able to see it immediately. So this smile told me a lot—most importantly, that he understood the breadth of what had transpired but remained optimistic.

"Hey."

"Bella, I'm sorry I was a part of that business downstairs." Alice spoke so quickly, like a little rabbit. I could tell she was nervous.

Yet there was no reason for her to be. She'd obviously been trying to protect me from something; she'd obviously had the nerve to confront her brother about something questionable.

I told her as much, and she looked relieved.

We made small talk for awhile. Alice brought in the items she and Esme had purchased for me in town; I sighed with some humorous exasperation, and she giggled but insisted I try them on.

The Chucks were gray. I loved them. I'd told her last week I wanted to buy some this color and then wear them in for the fall.

Alice was lovingly careful in her purchases, and this one was particularly so. I hugged her fiercely and demanded to know why she did so much for me.

And the shirt was blue, sleeveless, and silky, with embroidery at the neck. It was beautiful, but I think she bought it because she'd heard Edward very vocally compliment my appearance in blue the other night over dinner.

The afternoon drifted into early evening, and Esme made some noise downstairs meant to signify that dinner would come soon. Alice excused herself to freshen up, sensing, I think, that Jasper wanted to speak with me alone for a few moments.

They shared a quick kiss, and I smiled despite the disgruntled state of my own emotions. They were insanely precious all the time, yet I remained perpetually and strangely un-annoyed by them being that way.

Pixie-girl scurried away.

"So what do you think?" He raised an eyebrow. I knew what he meant.

"Honestly? I'm thinking it was a little crazy to come here at all." He didn't seem surprised to hear me say that, so I continued. "I love the Cullens. Last night was so much fun." I rubbed my ears right against my skull, pushing the skin in. "But maybe I don't belong by Edward's side like this yet. Maybe I just don't at all. Plus, he's got all this med school stuff to figure out. He's confused. I don't want to confuse him more."

And there they were. The words that most frightened me, and I'd said them of my own volition. I wanted to beat anyone else to the punch.

"I'm kind of proud of you, Bell-bell." Jasper grinned, and I looked at him wistfully.

"Really?" My laugh was sarcastic.

From downstairs I heard Edward's laugh, and it sounded…normal. Like the golden bells I heard when I first met him.

That made me angry.

Jasper heard it too but charged ahead, shaking his head to prove a point.

"Yes, I'm proud. You're always talking about how you lead with your heart and not your head, or jump into situations that are bad for you too quickly, without fully assessing them. Not that Edward is bad. But you're recognizing that there's some potential here for you to get hurt, and you're going to prevent that from progressing any further."

I guess he was sort of right.

"The romantic stuff was so much more fucking fun." I huffed and slammed myself face-down on a pillow nearby. Jazz ruffled my hair. Whenever he did that, it reminded me of my dad when I was little. Charlie's no legend when it comes to physical displays of caring or emotion, but I have these vague memories of him patting my head on our couch when I was a tiny girl.

I think, in that moment, that Jasper was the brother I was meant to have but never got.

"Yeah, it always is. But it's got to last, plus it's got to work with all the other stuff."

I raised my head and chewed on my bottom lip for a moment before braving my question.

"Did Alice tell you…"

Jazz cut me off, touching my shoulder. "No, she didn't. I'll be honest, I asked her to tell me. Anything that might hurt you is my business because I'm generally in favor of seeing you very un-hurt. But she said this was best left to you and Edward to sort out. She thinks maybe she was a bit too nosy about the whole thing, whatever it is, to begin with."

That last part was slightly (but Lord, only slightly) encouraging.

"Folks, would you like some supper?! Esme made a summer feast!"

That was Carlisle's deep voice. So kind, always.

We were guests in this home, and despite the afternoon's events, I'd be expected at dinner. Jasper's encouragement and advice had reminded me that with him around things couldn't be quite so bad.

I smiled at him to let him know that I could trudge on.

He called to Carlisle that we'd be down shortly and then stood up to leave.

"Bella, we can head to my folks' house early if you like. We could go tomorrow if that's what's best for you. Alice and I already spoke about it. She could stay here with Edward, and you and I could head up to Columbia first."

Jazz knew me well enough to know that I'd protest a suggestion like that at first mention, perhaps warming up to it later, so he scooted out quickly after offering it up.

I sat in a daze for roughly three minutes before I realized I needed to get my shit together, look presentable, and sit at that dinner table like the confident woman I so knew I could be.

So I threw on a black jersey wrap dress, brushed my hair, washed my face, and applied coats of powder, mascara, and lip gloss. I walked out of the bedroom pinching my cheeks like some nervous plump girl in a Jane Austen novel, someone headed to impress a potential suitor in the parlor.

But I realized that at this point I really had no one to impress but myself.

The dining room was still empty when I made my way down to the main floor.

Esme had turned out the long rectangular table perfectly, of course; there was a white linen cloth lining it, and on top a beautiful assortment of green glass dinnerware. Instead of glasses, there were green goblets reminiscent of a medieval fairytale.

Tiny white lights adorned the ceiling. Dinner here was film noir, apparently.

I sighed and walked toward the voices in the adjoining kitchen. They were exuberant, almost explosive in their melody. These people were happy.

A happy family.

I paused at the doorway where they still couldn't see me, breathing deeply as if courage could be found in the very atmosphere.

The air smelled of some fragrant meat, perhaps lamb.

When I stepped into the kitchen, Carlisle was the first to nod in my direction. If I read his glance appropriately, I think I saw in it both an unnecessary apology and some encouragement. I smiled weakly and moved forward.

And then everyone saw me. Five sets of eyes. Four of them flew to me and then immediately to Edward, expectantly.

"Hello, everyone." I sounded normal, I think.

He was leaning back casually against the marble countertop, freshly changed into some ironed khakis and a pale green Oxford--but still unkempt otherwise. He hadn't showered or shaved, and his hair was even more wildly alight than was typical.

In other words, he looked absolutely fucking delicious.

I had to remind myself that wasn't enough.

"Wine, Bella?" He nodded and offered me a timid smile.

When I walked toward him, the others made a point of shuffling and re-starting some random conversation. Jasper's gaze lingered longer, as if he was checking in to make sure I'd be okay.

I would be.

I focused on Edward and remained silent until he had poured me a glass of Merlot and slid it into my right hand. Our thumbs brushed, and I couldn't help but gasp. The thread of tension between us had translated into a bolt of mild electricity, apparently. He felt it, too. I know that because he very purposely brought his hand back to mine, outlining my forefinger with his own just once.

I blushed lightly and looked up to him, searching for some indication of what had transpired since our altercation in the alcove. Had he and Carlisle spoken, cleared the air?

"Bella, I'm such a fool." His voice was so soft, he almost sounded frightened. I'd never heard it that way before.

I swallowed hard and moved a little closer to him; it was all I could offer, in that instant, to comfort him just a bit. Inside I was screaming. My gut—the composite of those barest emotions rolling around the pit of my stomach and flaring up to my heart—told me to reach out to him, believe him, embrace him. My brain—those practical bits of wisdom and thoughtfulness reflected in the conversation I'd just had with Jasper—warned me to stay behind, to stay reserved.

To wait.

I could smell his breath now, on my face. Wine and the faint hint of a cigar.

"How did it go?" I took a small sip of wine, wincing as it coated and heated my throat.

"You were right. It went really well." Edward's eyes crinkled into a real smile, one so different from those of this afternoon. When he'd seemed like a stranger to me. But now this warm, melt-inducing Edward was back and I didn't have the faintest idea of what to do about that.

"Good." I nodded, and clinked my glass gently into his as a simple toast. He seemed encouraged by my gesture. It was then that Alice cleared her throat, and I became aware of her presence just beside us.

Looking around the kitchen, I realized everyone else had left.

"Dinner's on the table, dearies." She winked at me but looked more hesitantly at her brother. He only grunted in her direction, but honestly I think she was wholly satisfied that he didn't want to murder her right there in the kitchen. A grunt was at least a start.

She turned on the balls of her feet and left us to amble out on our own.

Before I could even turn back fully to face Edward, his lips were nipping at my own. He hadn't caught me so off guard since the evening of our first kiss, in the alley with the music playing. That seemed so long ago now, but it had only been days.

I shivered as his tongue, warm and tasting of wine, peeked out to part my lips. I yielded, opening up to him, telling myself that it was mostly from shock that I found myself in his arms.

His fingertips danced along my spine as our kiss deepened. Sparks swirled in my stomach and along my thighs. His tongue was languid against mine, patient. An odd combination of giddy, dizzy, and confused, I stepped back, panting.

"We'll talk, Bella, we'll talk after dinner. You look so worried." His hand pushed my hair behind my ears.

"I am a little. I don't want to be, but I am." I sighed, thinking that at the very least I was being honest with him. That's what I had promised myself I would do.

Fingertips against my cheek, so soft.

"Just don't be. I'm sorry I've made you feel that way."

All at once, he was the man I'd woken up with that morning and he wasn't. I couldn't see clearly.

"We should join your family." I left his embrace completely and led him through the swinging doors into the dining area.

Another hour or so and I'd have some answers. Or one, at least.

STAY WITH ME! ANOTHER UPDATE COMING THIS WEEKEND!

CIAO CIAO


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